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A trucker drives through some industrial estate,

He stops near a warehouse and ten minutes later a prostitute approaches nearby.

"50 and I'll do anything, love."

The trucker stares at her up and down.

"deal, grab the forklift and start unloading the truck."

Mafia have boiled a man to death in a industrial pasta cooker.

Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.

An oligarch, a theocrat, and two architects of the prison industrial complex walk into a bar...

Sorry, I misplaced my notes. Those are just the choices for the US Presidential election.

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

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A man loses his penis in an industrial accident

Through the wonders of modern medicine, plastic surgeons are able to reconstruct his penis using tissue from an elephant’s trunk. After a full year of recovery and therapy, he’s finally cleared to use his new penis

So he takes his beautiful girlfriend out for a nice meal at a fancy restauran...

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A Dyre Predicament

"So kind of you to cruise by, Superman. How are the kryptonite shackles treating you?"

"You won't get away with this! Who are you anyway? I've never fought you."

"Oh, that's because I'm not a villain. And I intend to keep it that way, which brings me to the nature of today's exercise...

I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities

It's a complex complex complex

What happened in the Industrial Revolution?

Minor miners.

I bought a high-powered industrial fan today.

I was blown away by how well it worked.

What do you call an adequate industrial building?

Satisfactory

A lot of women watch “Fixer Upper”...

...and think they can apply it to an industrial painter with multiple felonies.

There's a primate military-industrial complex, you know

They engage in gorilla warfare to preserve the interests of monkey business

How do you measure the value of Chinese philosophy on the stock market?

The Tao-Jones Industrial Average.

I like stealing industrial size kitchen equipment.

I'm a big whisk-taker

Plastic. Metal. Big red. Ice. Ash. Industrial.

My bucket list.

Scientists announced that a man had chilled himself to absolute zero in an industrial accident.

He's 0K right now.

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A man loses his penis in an industrial accident.

He wakes up in the hospital the next day. Upon hearing the news that the organ was unsalvagable the man was devastated.

"Doc, is there nothing you can do?"

The doctor explains that conventional medicine can do nothing for him. However, he adds, there is an experimental treatment. The ...

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Boris Johnson dies...

His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem: We seldom see a Conservative here and we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Johnso...

So the DOW Jones industrial average dropped 800 points last week. And you know what this means to us regular people?

Not a damn thing...

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John Cooper Clarke's hairdresser joke, slightly paraphrased.

A man is at the hairdresser and makes conversation.

The hairdresser asks him "You going anywhere for your holidays?"

The man says, "Me and my wife are going to Rome".

"Why do you want to go to Rome?"

"I love Italian food".

"Well, it's all fish and chip shops in Rom...

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I just finished a book on the military nobility of pre-industrial Japan

Would you like me to samurais it for you?

I told my wife I'd never leave her unless aliens came to take me.

It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.

Why did workers in the industrial revolution have better sense of smell?

It's because of all that time they spent in the ol-factory.

Girl, do you support the industrial mining of mountaintops?

Cuz I'm tryna get in Djibouti

A man lost both his hands in an industrial accident.

Determined to still live a full life, and vowing to be more careful, he declared, "I will never be defeated!"

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a robot designed by the Military industrial complex?

I'd fuck the robot.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad, what should I do with this industrial roll of bubble wrap?"

"Just pop it in the corner please"

It took me 2 hours.

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