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Industrial Jokes

The Case Of The Industrial Fire

The industrial fire had been raging for a few hours and no one was able to stop it. Someone called all the fire stations in the nearby towns, and almost all of them were there within minutes. Despite managing to contain the fire by forming a circle around it, the center was still going strong, with ...

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A trucker drives through some industrial estate,

He stops near a warehouse and ten minutes later a prostitute approaches nearby.

"50 and I'll do anything, love."

The trucker stares at her up and down.

"deal, grab the forklift and start unloading the truck."

Three men are in prison in Soviet Russia...

... And they start explaining how they wound up in prison.

The first man says, "I was five minutes late to work, so I was arrested for sabotaging Soviet productivity."

The second man says, "I was five minutes early so I was arrested for espionage, spying on Russian industrial secrets."...

Since the Industrial Revolution, steel has been a commodity traded on the international market.

If you want to buy some steel, you go to a broker, and he cuts you a deal and you get however many tons of steel you want without necessarily ever making contact with the foundry.

Before the Industrial Revolution, things were on a much smaller scale, and if you wanted to buy steel you had to ...

Mafia have boiled a man to death in a industrial pasta cooker.

Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.

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A man loses his penis in an industrial accident

Through the wonders of modern medicine, plastic surgeons are able to reconstruct his penis using tissue from an elephant’s trunk. After a full year of recovery and therapy, he’s finally cleared to use his new penis

So he takes his beautiful girlfriend out for a nice meal at a fancy restauran...

Daniel Craig has narrowly avoided death after falling into an industrial mixer whilst on a Martini factory tour. Fortunately the machine wasn't switched on.

He is reportedly shaken

What did the tropical bird say when he was asked to help operate an industrial machine?

"Don't worry, one bird usually can't operate this machine on his own.

But toucan."

What happened in the Industrial Revolution?

Minor miners.

I like stealing industrial size kitchen equipment.

I'm a big whisk-taker

What do you call an adequate industrial building?

Satisfactory

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A man loses his penis in an industrial accident.

He wakes up in the hospital the next day. Upon hearing the news that the organ was unsalvagable the man was devastated.

"Doc, is there nothing you can do?"

The doctor explains that conventional medicine can do nothing for him. However, he adds, there is an experimental treatment. The ...

I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities

It's a complex complex complex

I bought a high-powered industrial fan today.

I was blown away by how well it worked.

An oligarch, a theocrat, and two architects of the prison industrial complex walk into a bar...

Sorry, I misplaced my notes. Those are just the choices for the US Presidential election.

Scientists announced that a man had chilled himself to absolute zero in an industrial accident.

He's 0K right now.

Plastic. Metal. Big red. Ice. Ash. Industrial.

My bucket list.

There's a primate military-industrial complex, you know

They engage in gorilla warfare to preserve the interests of monkey business

A man lost both his hands in an industrial accident.

Determined to still live a full life, and vowing to be more careful, he declared, "I will never be defeated!"

Girl, do you support the industrial mining of mountaintops?

Cuz I'm tryna get in Djibouti

Why did workers in the industrial revolution have better sense of smell?

It's because of all that time they spent in the ol-factory.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad, what should I do with this industrial roll of bubble wrap?"

"Just pop it in the corner please"

It took me 2 hours.

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I just finished a book on the military nobility of pre-industrial Japan

Would you like me to samurais it for you?

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What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a robot designed by the Military industrial complex?

I'd fuck the robot.

A Pepsi exec convinced several of his competitor's employees to smuggle out their secret recipe.

He was arrested on charges of industrial espionage.

The others were charged as Coke-conspirators.

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