What type of mineral makes people sneeze?

Gesundhite

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude...

Why don't local government prioritize the concerns of laborers who collect minerals in caves?

They're only miner issues.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

"Sir we're mining too many useless minerals."

Hitler: "Mine less then."
*grammar nazi bursts in*

"Mine fewer"

*Hitler looks over* "Yes?"

Four worms were placed in four separate test tubes: 1st in beer 2nd in wine 3rd in whiskey 4th in mineral water The next day, the teacher shows the results: The 1st worm in beer, dead. The 2nd in wine, dead. The 3rd in whiskey, dead. The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.

The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?

And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey
does not have worms.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

How does a sex worker extract precious minerals from the Earth?

They strip mine.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Suffering from a mineral deficiency? The only mineral you're going to need,

is some cocktanite

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting... [warning: offensive!]

\[I once killed a party with this joke. You have been warned!\]

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting.

The first mother puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, pulls out a bottle of pills, takes one, then resumes knitting. She sees the other two mot...

James Cameron: I don't know what to call the unobtainable mineral the blue aliens are hiding.

**Guy who came up with "Newfoundland":** Unobtain...ium?

JC: BRILLIANT!

I hate people who trade with minerals

They take everything for granite

My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals..

He's just mining his own business.

A couple called our company to remove some cancerous silicate minerals in their insulated home

Iโ€™ll try to remove them Asbestos I can

I have an obsession with polishing minerals!

I hope that('s) crystal('s) clear

Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon?

They only come in quarts(z)

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Told my wife weโ€™d have to stop sleeping together if I get this job with a mineral extraction company.

Yeah, in most states itโ€™s illegal to have sex with a miner.

I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...

Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?

Me: Na

Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.

Me: O

Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals

Me...

If minerals were people, who would be the poorest?

Stibnite, because it's antimony.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis



Subject: Women



Symbol: Wo



Discovered by: Adam



Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.


Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

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