UPJOKE
orefeldsparrockcorundummanganesequartzsylvitemagnesitecalciumsphaleritemonazitemuscoviteinorganiccristobalitepyrite

How do you call a mineral who’s never wrong?

Amarite

Four worms were placed in four separate test tubes: 1st in beer 2nd in wine 3rd in whiskey 4th in mineral water The next day, the teacher shows the results: The 1st worm in beer, dead. The 2nd in wine, dead. The 3rd in whiskey, dead. The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.

The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?

And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey
does not have worms.

Pickup lines for all of the mineral ladies :)

If you come home with me theres a high chance you will be (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si 8O 22(OH) 2

What type of mineral makes people sneeze?

Gesundhite

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suffering from a mineral deficiency? The only mineral you're going to need,

is some cocktanite

James Cameron: I don't know what to call the unobtainable mineral the blue aliens are hiding.

**Guy who came up with "Newfoundland":** Unobtain...ium?

JC: BRILLIANT!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told my wife we’d have to stop sleeping together if I get this job with a mineral extraction company.

Yeah, in most states it’s illegal to have sex with a miner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude...

Why don't local government prioritize the concerns of laborers who collect minerals in caves?

They're only miner issues.

How do you get ectoplasm out of your hair?

Mineral spirits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a sex worker extract precious minerals from the Earth?

They strip mine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting... [warning: offensive!]

\[I once killed a party with this joke. You have been warned!\]

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting.

The first mother puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, pulls out a bottle of pills, takes one, then resumes knitting. She sees the other two mot...

I hate people who trade with minerals

They take everything for granite

What do you call the mineral found in teeth and tooth enamel?

Apatite.

Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon?

They only come in quarts(z)

My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals..

He's just mining his own business.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.