Molecule Jokes

I’ve got my ion you.

His mother comes down to the police station to bail him out. She is met by the detective working the case.

I don’t understand it, says the mother. Hydrogen was always a good kid. I never had any problems til he met oxygen.

Don’t worry, says the detective. The situation is fluid but he... read more

“A free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them!”

Two-Na

Doesn't exist by definition.

Helix it.

Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive.

it was exhausted

It was a salt

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and robbed all the precious jewels. A tall, strong man, armed with a gun came into the room and thrashed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful and asked for his name, to which he replied, "M... read more

"Doc, Im suffering from terrible cramps" says the Oxygen Molecule.

"That's an easy fix," says the doctor, "Just eat some Potassium and you'll be OK!"

Molecule > Atom > Proton > Quark > x on a mobile ad

A salt with a deadly weapon

"Get out. This is micelle"

The bartender says: "OH NO".

A guac-mole

The bartender asks, "what's so funny?"

HeHe

Ambidextrose

The bartender says, "Hey Jude!"

Diatomic helium

The first one asks, "Why don't you like me?"

The water molecule says, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not that attracted to you."

The other cries, "Is it because I'm fat?!"

I was like, "HUH?"

Nitrous oxide

He’s the smallest of the Greek heroes!

Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.
Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive

Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it. Archimedes finds Newton first, ... read more

It was a Mole-Ester!

The chiralpractor!

BY THE NINE DIVINES! A SALT!

An Ether Bunny!

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don... read more

He says to the bartender, "Tonight all drinks are on me!"

The bartender says to him, "you must've had a good day today, what happened?"

"I finally found a way to make a stable molecule from a barium atom, two sodium atoms, and a sulfur atom!" the chemist proudly replies.

"Wow," ... read more

Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses

Two molecules are walking down the street. They accidently bump into each other, and one of them looks down, shakes his head, and says, "Damn, I lost an electron." The other molecule is surprised and says, "Are you sure??" The other one says, "Yeah, I'm positive."

So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point where we can clone people, manipulate atoms, build molecules, fly through space, and do many other miraculous th... read more

Because an stupid one would be an Oxy-Moron.

Entropy is simply a measure of how much the energy of atoms and molecules become more spread out in a process and can be defined in terms of statistical probabilities, whereas Atrophy, is what you get if you win something.

Guacamolecules

Molecules