The first double Helium molecule should be named after Michael Jackson

HeHe

After the CO2 molecule left the car, it immediately took a nap

it was exhausted

I like my bears like I like my molecules

Polar and non attractive

My friend said that he replaced the Oxygen with Uranium in a water molecule.

I was like, "HUH?"

A fish made from two sodium molecules

Two-Na

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the chlorine molecule say after homolytic fission

That was RADICAL bro.

What has 6.022 x 10^23 molecules and makes a great breakfast?

Avogadro toast

3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don't you tell Matter the joke.

Atom: he wouldn't get it, he's too dense.

how does a DNA molecule give oral?

helix it

Molecule

Nitrous oxide

What did the Oblivion character say when he saw a molecule of magnesium sulphate?

BY THE NINE DIVINES! A SALT!

Why did the 22140857×10^23 molecules of Methyl Acetate go to jail?

It was a Mole-Ester!

Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.

Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive.

Do you know why all the O2 molecules are intelligent?

Because an stupid one would be an Oxy-Moron.

My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule.

Doesn't exist by definition.

What do you call a molecule with the structure bunny-O-bunny?

An Ether Bunny!

Two Molecules are Talking to Each Other...

The first one asks, "Why don't you like me?"

The water molecule says, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not that attracted to you."

The other cries, "Is it because I'm fat?!"

Where do molecules go when they're misaligned?

The chiralpractor!

What molecule has the best sense of humor?

A helium polymer. HeHeHeHeHe

So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]

and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian are all best friends

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian are all best friends. They have this tradition of meeting up at a certain coffee shop and talking about this and that while they eat their collective favorite desert; cherry pie.

One day, as the friends are enjoying their cherry pie, the topic of who’s religio...

What do you get when you cross a blind burrowing mammal with a Roman demigod?

Molecules

A chemist walks into a bar...

He sees a group of other chemists who he works with and says to both the bartender and the chemists, "Gentlemen, tonight, all the drinks are on me!"

The chemists woo and cheer as the bartender says, "Wow, well you must have had a good day at work today then."

"Fantastic!" the chemist r...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why Don't Jews Like Ions?

They prefer their molecules free of charge.

my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class

Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Johnny joke

Teacher was going over words in class, and asked her students to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny was squirming, so he called out, "Teacher, I need to go take a shit!" She told him to sit down. "You can't go to the bathroom until you have used definitely in a sentence."

He thought...

Science Jokes

Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.
Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive

Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it. Archimedes finds Newton first, ...