I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...

Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...

What kind of plant generates the most energy?

A power plant.

What do you call someone who steals energy?

A Joule thief.

​

I once tried to pay for my food at Hooters with an energy drink...

Apparently Red Bull doesn’t give you wings.

What do you call when a metal shares the negative energy to his non-metal bestfriend?

an ionic bonding moment

What is the gorillaz favorite source of renewable energy?

Windmills, windmills for the land

What do you call a TV show discussing renewable energy?

The solar panel

In my Science class we were talking about Kinetic and Potential energy. I said outloud "No wonder my mom calls me Kinetic"

"Because I have no Potential"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you know when a man masturbates he generates 5 BTU of energy?

So if you had 5000 men in a room masturbating, it would be extremely gay.

One gallon of gasoline contains roughly the amount of energy required for a human to live 56 years

Therefore, if you chug two gallons of gasoline you'll never have to eat again!

How much energy does it take to hit a vape?

1 juul

Go green and cut your energy bills in half!

install a wind turbine on your head that runs on all the jokes that whoosh right over it

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

(Sorry!)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Six Lessons of Life

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

Due to the recession and to save on energy costs,

the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I don’t need to poop because my body absorbs all the energy from food.

But some people tell me I’m full of shit.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What are the best memes for giving you energy?

Amphetamemes.

...

Fuck you only God can judge me.

"You're a unit of electrical energy, Harry."

"I'm a watt?"

Did you know that Germany has one of the highest renewable energy use ratings in the world?

They most certainly use less gas now.

How is potential energy like a potential future?

When you fall down a cliff you're getting rid of both.

There once was a boy named Energy.

His parents were physicists and were probably high on something while naming him but they decided to name him Energy. When he was a young child, they noticed something a bit peculiar about him, he refused to climb on-top of something that was above the ground. When they tried to pick him up off the ...

Just went to the store and bought a pack of energy saving light bulbs...

As the woman scanned them, she asked, "Will you be putting these up yourself, sir?"

"'Erm, no." I replied. "What kind of sicko do you think I am?"

Which take away food produces the most energy?

Fission chips.

You Matter.

Unless you multiply yourself times the speed of light squared. Then you energy.

What's a cow's main source of energy?

Cowleries

I've been trying to save energy recently.

So I threw out the treadmill and moved the beer fridge closer to my room.

What do you think of wind and solar energy?

I am a big fan, I believe they have a bright future.

What does an iPhone drink for energy?

Apple juice.

Conservation of Female Mass and Energy:

Conservation of Female Mass and Energy: for every male action, there is a greater and definite female overreaction.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How much energy did Hitler use during his reign?

6 million killajews

Why was Heisenberg's wife unsatisfied?

Because when he had the time he didn't have the energy and when he had the position he didn't have the momentum.

Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.

They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.

So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write...

I watched a documentary on perpetual energy last night

It went on forever.

My wife was at an energy drinks shop.

She phoned me and said, "Would you like a Monster?"

I said, "No, thanks. I've already married one."

How is the Middle East not leading the world in wind energy...

... they have almost one turban per person.

What does an energy drink and tropical bird have in common?

It takes more than toucans to wake me up.

I asked Santa for a new energy policy...

...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-(

Today I said to my 7 yr old daughter - there are only two things in the universe mass and energy, do you know what the difference between mass and energy is? She jumped off of her chair and said yes!....

You are mass and I am energy, she said pointing at my belly and laughing...

I think she'll be alright, I have a feeling.

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter

(go ahead and down vote :P)

Darn Freshman

So the freshman are in the bathroom and one of them says, "Pass the standard metric unit of measurement for kinetic energy."

Meth: All the energy of cocaine...

... with none of the teeth!

We need to start investing more in solar energy

But it's not just going to happen overnight

How does batman store energy?

In BATteries

A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine...

The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

This morning I made my coffee with an energy drink instead of water.

Fifteen minutes on the highway later I realized I forgot my car in the garage.

With great power

Comes a massive energy bill

How do windmills feel about renewable energy?

They're pretty big fans

What type of energy supplement do terrorist take?

C4

How much energy does it take to create a rap star?

1.21 Jigga whats.

What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink?

Redbull Redbull

Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

Battery salesmen are the best.

They always have the most energy.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere...

I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Phonecall from ex

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting u...

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S.



too bad he can't handle the crash...

What's a good source of Vietnamese renewable energy?

A Nguyen mill.

Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?

They know resistance is a waste of energy.

A serial killer plead guilty to homicide

after being asked by the judge why he would kill, the serial killer responded,

"It fills me with energy."

He was charged with murder.

On Mars, the rover begins a new day by opening its solar panel to charge up when there's sunlight...

But this time it hits something.

The scientists are puzzled. There was nothing there when it last went to sleep. Anxious, they use the last of its energy turning its camera around. It was an Earth feline.

Curiosity killed a cat

What do you call a love story between resistance and energy?

Omhmeo and Jouleiet

My coworkers at the powerplant have been so confident lately

Must be that Big Duke Energy

State of the world right now!

Young People have Energy and Time...But No Money

Adults have Energy and Money...But No Time

Old People have Time and Money... But No Energy