UPJOKE
sectionepisodestagebookstorypartparagraphphasefraternitysubdivisionsocietyorderlodgearticlebranch

Chapters Jokes

Lying

A minister told his congregation, Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Ever...

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.

The first few chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it.

A priest was preaching one Sunday.

"The sermon that I'm going to preach today is about honesty"

Everyone nodded.

"Before I begin, I would like all those who have read Matthew chapter 29 verse 15 to raise their hands"

More than half the people raised their hand.

"That is very unfortunate to see as there is ...

The Flat-Earth Society is now recruiting new members...

We have chapters all around the world.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First Time Teacher

Day 1 of home schooling


0800  opened school website to get assignments.


0900  found where assignments were hidden on the website.


0915  called school to have the website explained.


0930  called school again.


0945  Had wife call school ...

I am reading a self help book

But I have putting off the chapters on procrastination ^^true_story

One Sunday morning in church...

... as Pastor Smith is about to deliver his sermon he asks the congregation how many of them managed to read Mark Chapter 17 as he'd asked them to the previous Sunday.

Almost all hands in the church went up.

"Very well," Pastor Smith continued. "By the way, Mark only has 16 chapters, a...

Just heard the TV weatherman say, “high in the thirties”.

Now I know the title to one of the chapters of my autobiography.

Liars

A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, “Next Sunday, I’m going to preach on the subject of Liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17.”

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, “Last week I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good Girls, Bad Girl’s And Naughty Girls

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot

Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

Naughty girls unbutton your pants


Good girls wax their floors

Bad girls wax their bikini line

Naughty girls wax your nutsack


Good girls blush during sex sce...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just a joke my grandpa told me.

So Jimmy is in class and he walks up to the pencil sharpener and looks out the window. He sees two bowlegged gentlemen and yells, "Hey check out these two funny-looking assholes!" The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him to read two chapters of Shakespeare. The next day Jimmy sees the sam...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.