Mu favorite series of riddles when i was in high school. Hope you all like it as much as i did <3

Give 3 steps to put an elephant in a refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Put the elephant in
iii.Close it

AND THEN ASK

Give 4 steps to put a giraffe in the refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Take the elephant out
iii.Put the giraffe in
iv.Close it
...

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Mee and my girlfriend wanted to see a series on Netflix...

She told me she wanted to see Vampire Diary, but I wanted to see La Casa De Papel so I told her "Fine, who ever has the biggest penis gets to choose whatever series they want."



So yea Vampire Diary is a nice show after all

Why are lights in a series more loyal than lights in parallel?

If one goes down in a series, they all go down with it.

I didn’t get the Xbox Series X I wanted for my birthday.

I need someone to console me.

They're playing with the largest deck of cards ever at this year's World Series of Poker.

It's a pretty big deal.

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An man was in the hospital for a series of tests... ... the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and paced frantically trying to think of a plan. Knowing his cute young nurse was about to come in the door at any moment, he hastily gathered up ...

Me - "Shall I buy the PS5 or the Xbox Series X?"

Wife - "I'd rather you buy an Eggs Box £3.60"


Lol my wife actually said this and I thought it was so dumb, it made me chuckle and that I thought I'd share it here.

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It’s been alleged that I’ve written a series of tweets about the song “I’m Too Sexy”.

I’d like to reassure my followers that I did not write said thread...

I'm thinking of making a series of non-gloss self portrait dinner placemats

I'll name it My Multitude of Matte Mats of Matt by Matt

The new X Box Series or PS5 should have a CD stacker installed.

It would be a real game changer

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

Quarantine is like a Netflix series

When you think it’s over, another season gets released

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Some people are saying the President had "a series of mini-strokes"

I'm not sure if they're talking about his golf game or how he masturbates.

Daddy, do all fairy tales start with Once upon a time?

No dear, there’s a whole series of fairly tales that start with “If elected, I promise”.

I’m making a documentary series about how to fly planes.

I'm currently filming the pilot.

On the badge you......

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and sai...

I just finished watching a very realistic series on the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale was shot in front of a live audience.

A piece of retconned canon from Star Wars has a danger of causing glaring plotholes in upcoming Disney films and series.

It's what is known as "a loose canon."

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Everyone hates a filler episode in a TV series.

But in porn, well that’s a different story.

A fourth grade biology teacher is asking a series of questions to her students

Eventually she asks "What part of the body can grow ten times its normal size when stimulated?"

As soon as she asks that, a girl at the back of the class stands up and yells "EWW, THAT'S SO GROSS. HOW DARE YOU ASK THIS TO SMALL CHILDREN? I'M GOING TO TELL MY MOTHER ALL ABOUT THIS", then storm...

I haven’t watched the Epstein docu-series on Netflix but I already know the ending.

He didn’t kill himself.

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My Dr wanted to run a series of tests and said he would need a blood sample, a stool sample, a urine sample and a semen sample.

So I left him my underwear.

While taking a census an official approached the home of Mrs Karen

After asking her a series of questions and taking down her replies, he asked her age. She chuckled bashfully and replied," have you asked the Ms Hills next door?" " No" was his confused reply. " I'm about as old as them" she told.

The next week she went to check her updated details and she s...

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

An American tourist lands at Baghdad Interational Airport

The airport security asks him a series of questions.

Security: "Name?"

Tourist: "Andrew"

Security: "Residency"

Tourist: "Idaho"

Security: "Occupation?"

Tourist: "No No, just visiting"

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Corona...

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A series of tuba jokes

What is a tuba for?

1 1/2" x 3 1/2".

How do you fix a broke tuba?

With a tuba glue.

What do you call ten tubas at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What do you call an arrogant tuba player?

A brasshole.

What's the difference between God an...

I found that the first four books of the Harry Potter series to be light hearted.

The fifth one ——dead Sirius.

A guy goes to a mental hospital for a psychiatric exam. The doctor shows the guy an inkblot image.

Doctor: "Look at this card and tell me what you think it is."

The guy studies it for a minute and says, "Well, not sure, but to me it looks like Rorschach Series 6, card number 9."

2020 is starting to feel like...

The game of thrones series finale we deserve

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying a series of old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies, not the original books. The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in t

The head monk said: “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

The head monk went down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him. ...

Do you remember the protagonist of the 70ies TV series Kung Flu?

David Quarantine.

Never thought Netflix would produce an award-winning series watched by tens of millions around the world. But hey...

Stranger Things have happened.

I heard that Justin Timberlake will be doing one of the voices in the new dark crystal series

He’s bringing skeksis back

So, one of my friends was talking about the Dune series yesterday

He mentions a guy who gets an STD that turns him into a fat slug person.

I called him "Jabba the Nut."

A man walks into a bar and orders a series of the most expensive single malt whiskies on the menu.

The bartender lines them up in front of him, and the man drinks them all as fast as possible.

The bartender gives him a surprised look and says, "Wow. I've never seen anyone drink single malt that quickly".

The man replies with, "Well, you would too if you had what I had".

The b...

If Valve made the Fire Emblem series instead...

The latest title would be Fire Emblem: Two Houses.

All the avatar has done is complain about the youngsters since his return, so the new series is now called

Boomer Aang

But at least he is back!

(This is seriously what insomnia does to a guys already fading sanity).

If a film series goes on long enough, there's bound to be a bad movie.

However, both of the godfather movies are amazing.

If there was a television series about a Deadhead surgeon, what would it be called?

A: Touch Of Grey's Anatomy.

Did you know that they made a side-series to Beyblade?

It's a spin-off

A Jehovah’s Witness knocked at my door this morning.

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said

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Two old widowers

Two old friends, both widowers, are sitting on a bench recounting the days of their youth and discussing what they've done in life.

Widower 1: My only regret is that I cheated on my wife early on in our marriage. I can only admit it now as my wife is no longer alive. I was young and foolish a...

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Did you hear about Donald Trump masturbating?

Apparently it was a series of mini-strokes

What is a dermatologist's favorite aspect of the Harry Potter series?

Quit-itch

A series of dots and dashes is Morse code.

A series of sobs and tears is re-Morse code.

The moment the Washington Nationals won the World Series

Was absolutely briceless.

For the first time in their franchise history the Washington National’s are World Series champions

Scherzer threw his glove out of the way and everybody started crowding the mound, jumping up and down with pure joy. Man the expressions on their faces were completely Bryceless!

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

"How do you wake up in the morning?"

"In the morning? Yes I used to use one of those automatic things that makes you a cup of tea, and does this horrible screeching noise in your ear.

But then I divorced her and bought a Teasmade."

-A Bit of Fry and Laurie Vox Pop Series 4

So a GMO scientist, after a successful series of test results, turns to his lab mates to congratulate them and say

"You're the team of the crop"

Whats the most unrealistic part of the Harry Potter series?

That a ginger has two friends at school

My friend told me that avengers endgame is twenty second film in the series.

It sure felt longer than that.

I could get to the second floor using the stairs or I could use a structure consisting of a series of bars or steps between two upright length of wood, metal, or rope.

I chose the ladder.

I own a series of vending macines

You know, in parks and stuff, you can get a coke, ginger ale, fanta, etc.

Business was going really well, so well I had to hire a guy to help. Right after I hired him though, sales plummeted.

Trying to figure out why, I went to a few of my macines. The snacks were fine, but the drin...

That World Series game was so long...

When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.

People were asking how the hell Data is going to be in the new Picard series

I thought it was pretty obvious that Jean Luc would have an unlimited Data plan

The FIA will be introducing a new series of Grand Turismo races with zero emission fuel cell vehicles cleverly called Formula Zero,

or GTF0.

Breaking news!

Corona Virus claims a black belt. Chuck Norris, Dead at 80.

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris, famous actor and fighter, died yesterday afternoon at his home in Northwood Hills, TX at the age of 80.

Chuck Starred in dozens of movies and Tv series which have, and continue to entertain millions ...

Who called it Spider-Man trilogy and not..

A web series.

What do you call the first episode of a TV series with a predominantly black cast?

A pilot, you racist

Why do all the Apple series start with “i”

Because you’re the Apple of my i

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

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A doctor joke

(You May only get if you understand the nature of the different medical specialties)

A surgeon, internist, radiologist, and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time.

They are huddled in the duck blind and the first bird goes flying in front of them, but they can’t clearly make o...

I should have my own netflix series,

Cause gee do I have alot of episodes.

This is for any Starwars fans

Son: Dad, why is my sister name Hope?

Dad: Because, your mother always thought the world needed hope

Son: Ok, thanks dad

Dad: Your welcome Starwars Standalone Kenobi Series

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

Have you heard about the investigation on the Harry Potter series?

It took them a while to get the story straight.

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A man is passing through a small town when he decides to visit the local bar.

He walks up to the counter where he notices a large jar filled to the brim with $5 bills. Curious, the man asks the bartender about the jar. The bartender tells him “here in our lil town of ours we ain’t got much goin’ on. So we decided to host a series of challenges here. Anyone can take on the cha...

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

The director of the "Guardians of the Galaxy" series will not be making the third part

I guess Disney really knows how to fire a Gunn

I'm reading this awesome book series on invincible dogs!

I can't put 'em down!

I’ve never been a fan of dramas.

But the series finale of America is intense!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I?

9 3/4

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Pirate

So a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says “how are you doing pirate? haven’t seen you in a long time“
The pirate says “doing great, just came back from a very successful series of raids”
The bartender says “really!? You look terrible. What happened to your leg?“
The pirate says ...

What does a mama bear on birth control have in common with the world series?

No cubs

A long series of jokes

503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

_502._

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

_Open door, put elephant in, close door._

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

_Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door._

The Lion K...

Did you hear about the new spin-off/crossover series starring Chris Pratt?

It’s called Parks and Rex

A mobster kidnaps a biologist, an electrical engineer, and a physicist

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
...

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The series of events during Tekashi 6ix9ine’s trial:

Judge: I wanna be in a gang

Tekashi: I’m already in a gang

Judge: Fine then I’ll be a rapist

Tekashi: I’m already a rapist

Judge: I think we’re done here

What are these TV series about 2 musiciancs fighting against sharps and flats for decades?

Supernaturals

So I'm making a TV series about a plane hijacking..

We've just shot the pilot.

There's been a series of senseless killings near my home this week.

The victims were all deaf, dumb or blind

Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones....

Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

What would be the title of the TV series covering 'The Last Supper'?

Breaking Bread.

TIL There are actually 5 movies in the Highlander movie series, the latest of which was made in 2007. But nobody talks about the 4 sequels because

There can only be one.

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Why is Donald Trump convinced Jared Kushner is a genius?

He figured out how to fuck Ivanka.


(This was a series of comments on another thread that made me laugh so I thought everyone should hear it, but I can't remember the usernames so announce yourselves if you see this friends)

After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye.

but If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.

If there's any doubt about what parts of The Hunger Games match the books, we can be sure at least one thing is true to the series; The sound played after someone dies during the games.

That's definitely cannon.

So, my uncle died and left me his dvd collection

He had a series of Different Strokes

Why can’t politicians do algebra? (A series of jokes)

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

A guy being examined by a psychologist is shown an inkblot card. "What does this look like?" asks the examiner

The guy studies it for a moment. "Oh, that's an easy one! It's Rorschach series III, sequence 6, card 2."

If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series...

They should name the last one - "Fast10 - Your Seatbelt" in memory of Paul Walker.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.

The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet hi...

What would they call the 10th installment in the Fast and Furious Series?

-Fast 10 Your Seatbelts

-Fast 10 Furious

After tonight's World Series game...

It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears.

A man goes to the doctor to have a series of test run. He comes back in a week to get the results. The doctor says I have bad news, you have cancer. The man downs his head as the doctor says unfortunately I have more bad news.

You also have Alzheimer’s Disease. The man looks up and says to the doctor, “Well, at least it’s not Cancer.....

I live in a non-legal state and I recently found a little baggie of weed in the parking lot outside my workplace. Since drugs are illegal and I am a good and responsible citizen, I immediately took the bag home and destroyed the weed

... in a series of small fires.

NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled "Airline Tragedies."

They are putting the pilot together right now.

If the current Russian president is preparing to lead a series of swift military offensives...

...does that mean he's Putin on a blitz?

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