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Mee and my girlfriend wanted to see a series on Netflix...

She told me she wanted to see Vampire Diary, but I wanted to see La Casa De Papel so I told her "Fine, who ever has the biggest penis gets to choose whatever series they want."



So yea Vampire Diary is a nice show after all

Netflix is soon releasing an extremely realistic documentary series about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale is shot before a live audience.

In the Resident Evil series, how does one make a proper Jill Sandwich?

You put it between two slices of Breadfield and then add some Weskershire sauce.

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An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests...

The last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.

Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rationa...

In the Cars movie series, they have a place called Radiator Springs.

Now, radiators are vital components in cars, so I find it's a very weird name decision for a city.

Its like calling a human city "Liver pool".

Mu favorite series of riddles when i was in high school. Hope you all like it as much as i did <3

Give 3 steps to put an elephant in a refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Put the elephant in
iii.Close it

AND THEN ASK

Give 4 steps to put a giraffe in the refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Take the elephant out
iii.Put the giraffe in
iv.Close it
...

Why are lights in a series more loyal than lights in parallel?

If one goes down in a series, they all go down with it.

I got a recommendation from Pops on a TV series to watch

After watching it I can say it indeed was a jolly good show

They're playing with the largest deck of cards ever at this year's World Series of Poker.

It's a pretty big deal.

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It’s been alleged that I’ve written a series of tweets about the song “I’m Too Sexy”.

I’d like to reassure my followers that I did not write said thread...

I didn’t get the Xbox Series X I wanted for my birthday.

I need someone to console me.

Me - "Shall I buy the PS5 or the Xbox Series X?"

Wife - "I'd rather you buy an Eggs Box £3.60"


Lol my wife actually said this and I thought it was so dumb, it made me chuckle and that I thought I'd share it here.

Quarantine is like a Netflix series

When you think it’s over, another season gets released

my husband, who works in a funeral home

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was...

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room. One day they decided they didn’t like being locked up anymore, and wanted to escape. The not so smart one has to rely on the smart one to get out. So they made their way up to the roof through a series of vents. Once up on the roof of the buil...

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Some people are saying the President had "a series of mini-strokes"

I'm not sure if they're talking about his golf game or how he masturbates.

I'm thinking of making a series of non-gloss self portrait dinner placemats

I'll name it My Multitude of Matte Mats of Matt by Matt

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

**The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all...

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[OC] An airline captain is holding interviews for a new copilot after the former one retired

He holds a series of back to back interviews, each one going seemingly better than the last. On the last scheduled interview for the day, a man walks in holding a human turd. He places the turd in the chair facing the captain. Seeing the captain's confused look, the man explains that the turd will b...

The new X Box Series or PS5 should have a CD stacker installed.

It would be a real game changer

Mr. Chair is in distress after Mrs Chair went under surgery, even after it went successful, with no incidents whatsoever.

So one of his friends asks Mr Chair what happened. And he answered: "I've been married to my wonderful and lovely Mrs Chair for fifteen years, and now this doctor comes with a stupid smile on his face and tells me she's table!"

-

Obligatory: English is not my native tongue, so sorry f...

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So, a guy is being shown around an insane asylum on his first day of working there

He looks into a room through a window in the door and sees a man flailing his arms back and forth. So he asks “What are you doing in there”?

The reply back is “I’m a famous baseball player, and when I get out of here I’m going to win the World Series”

Moving on to the next door and lo...

I watched a documentary about the bikini.

It was a two-part series and it was very revealing.

I’m making a documentary series about how to fly planes.

I'm currently filming the pilot.

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My dad went to his girlfriends house for the first time when he was in college...

It was thanksgiving dinner, and he had been invited over since they had been dating for well over two years. In the middle of the meal, he felt a fart brewing. Hoping it wouldn’t be a sphincter-symphony, he lifted a cheek and slowly let it out. To his dismay, it was audible (though more of a piccolo...

A fourth grade biology teacher is asking a series of questions to her students

Eventually she asks "What part of the body can grow ten times its normal size when stimulated?"

As soon as she asks that, a girl at the back of the class stands up and yells "EWW, THAT'S SO GROSS. HOW DARE YOU ASK THIS TO SMALL CHILDREN? I'M GOING TO TELL MY MOTHER ALL ABOUT THIS", then storm...

Some actors are famous for playing the same role in multiple movies, but none so much as Lee Navarre.

Lee Navarre had starred in a couple of low budget films like Greta's Gallery and Fisherman Flanagan, but no one really took note of him till he was seen in the first movie of the mystery series "When Midnight Chimes". As we all know, it was an instant hit and Navarre gained a lot of critical acclaim...

Daddy, do all fairy tales start with Once upon a time?

No dear, there’s a whole series of fairly tales that start with “If elected, I promise”.

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Everyone hates a filler episode in a TV series.

But in porn, well that’s a different story.

For most of us, life is a series of ups and downs...

... but for people with an extra chromosome, it’s just 1 of those things...

What do you call an operating system inspired by the Mother/Earthbound series that also doubles as a cry for help?

A Ness OS

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My Dr wanted to run a series of tests and said he would need a blood sample, a stool sample, a urine sample and a semen sample.

So I left him my underwear.

I haven’t watched the Epstein docu-series on Netflix but I already know the ending.

He didn’t kill himself.

Never thought Netflix would produce an award-winning series watched by tens of millions around the world. But hey...

Stranger Things have happened.

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

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A series of tuba jokes

What is a tuba for?

1 1/2" x 3 1/2".

How do you fix a broke tuba?

With a tuba glue.

What do you call ten tubas at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What do you call an arrogant tuba player?

A brasshole.

What's the difference between God an...

I heard that Justin Timberlake will be doing one of the voices in the new dark crystal series

He’s bringing skeksis back

I found that the first four books of the Harry Potter series to be light hearted.

The fifth one ——dead Sirius.

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Corona...

A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying a series of old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies, not the original books. The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in t

The head monk said: “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

The head monk went down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him. ...

Do you remember the protagonist of the 70ies TV series Kung Flu?

David Quarantine.

So, one of my friends was talking about the Dune series yesterday

He mentions a guy who gets an STD that turns him into a fat slug person.

I called him "Jabba the Nut."

A man walks into a bar and orders a series of the most expensive single malt whiskies on the menu.

The bartender lines them up in front of him, and the man drinks them all as fast as possible.

The bartender gives him a surprised look and says, "Wow. I've never seen anyone drink single malt that quickly".

The man replies with, "Well, you would too if you had what I had".

The b...

All the avatar has done is complain about the youngsters since his return, so the new series is now called

Boomer Aang

But at least he is back!

(This is seriously what insomnia does to a guys already fading sanity).

If Valve made the Fire Emblem series instead...

The latest title would be Fire Emblem: Two Houses.

If a film series goes on long enough, there's bound to be a bad movie.

However, both of the godfather movies are amazing.

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An aircraft control tower suddenly last communication with a small twin engine aircraft

A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone!
He yelled,Mayday, mayday!
The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack! I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and h...

How do you milk a Dragon?

By making 3 movies and a couple TV series about it.

That World Series game was so long...

When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.

If there was a television series about a Deadhead surgeon, what would it be called?

A: Touch Of Grey's Anatomy.

Did you know that they made a side-series to Beyblade?

It's a spin-off

I own a series of vending macines

You know, in parks and stuff, you can get a coke, ginger ale, fanta, etc.

Business was going really well, so well I had to hire a guy to help. Right after I hired him though, sales plummeted.

Trying to figure out why, I went to a few of my macines. The snacks were fine, but the drin...

A series of dots and dashes is Morse code.

A series of sobs and tears is re-Morse code.

Why does the physicist call everyone when they're stressed?

Bc with a series connection, the voltage is divided.

The moment the Washington Nationals won the World Series

Was absolutely briceless.

For the first time in their franchise history the Washington National’s are World Series champions

Scherzer threw his glove out of the way and everybody started crowding the mound, jumping up and down with pure joy. Man the expressions on their faces were completely Bryceless!

What is a dermatologist's favorite aspect of the Harry Potter series?

Quit-itch

My friend told me that avengers endgame is twenty second film in the series.

It sure felt longer than that.

Whats the most unrealistic part of the Harry Potter series?

That a ginger has two friends at school

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

Apple Watch Series 6

Theres no clock

Was just watching the Great British Baking Show

The entire series feels like an apology for sending us Gordon Ramsay.

So a GMO scientist, after a successful series of test results, turns to his lab mates to congratulate them and say

"You're the team of the crop"

I could get to the second floor using the stairs or I could use a structure consisting of a series of bars or steps between two upright length of wood, metal, or rope.

I chose the ladder.

What do you call the first episode of a TV series with a predominantly black cast?

A pilot, you racist

A long series of jokes

503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

_502._

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

_Open door, put elephant in, close door._

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

_Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door._

The Lion K...

I was watching a new television series on the 9/11 highjackings

And judging by the pilot it won’t last long

People were asking how the hell Data is going to be in the new Picard series

I thought it was pretty obvious that Jean Luc would have an unlimited Data plan

A guy goes to a mental hospital for a psychiatric exam. The doctor shows the guy an inkblot image.

Doctor: "Look at this card and tell me what you think it is."

The guy studies it for a minute and says, "Well, not sure, but to me it looks like Rorschach Series 6, card number 9."

The FIA will be introducing a new series of Grand Turismo races with zero emission fuel cell vehicles cleverly called Formula Zero,

or GTF0.

While taking a census an official approached the home of Mrs Karen

After asking her a series of questions and taking down her replies, he asked her age. She chuckled bashfully and replied," have you asked the Ms Hills next door?" " No" was his confused reply. " I'm about as old as them" she told.

The next week she went to check her updated details and she s...

2020 is starting to feel like...

The game of thrones series finale we deserve

On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I?

9 3/4

I should have my own netflix series,

Cause gee do I have alot of episodes.

The director of the "Guardians of the Galaxy" series will not be making the third part

I guess Disney really knows how to fire a Gunn

An American tourist lands at Baghdad Interational Airport

The airport security asks him a series of questions.

Security: "Name?"

Tourist: "Andrew"

Security: "Residency"

Tourist: "Idaho"

Security: "Occupation?"

Tourist: "No No, just visiting"

I'm reading this awesome book series on invincible dogs!

I can't put 'em down!

Have you heard about the investigation on the Harry Potter series?

It took them a while to get the story straight.

So I'm making a TV series about a plane hijacking..

We've just shot the pilot.

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones....

Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

What does a mama bear on birth control have in common with the world series?

No cubs

There's been a series of senseless killings near my home this week.

The victims were all deaf, dumb or blind

A Jehovah’s Witness knocked at my door this morning.

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

What would be the title of the TV series covering 'The Last Supper'?

Breaking Bread.

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

Did you hear about the new spin-off/crossover series starring Chris Pratt?

It’s called Parks and Rex

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The series of events during Tekashi 6ix9ine’s trial:

Judge: I wanna be in a gang

Tekashi: I’m already in a gang

Judge: Fine then I’ll be a rapist

Tekashi: I’m already a rapist

Judge: I think we’re done here

What are these TV series about 2 musiciancs fighting against sharps and flats for decades?

Supernaturals

If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series...

They should name the last one - "Fast10 - Your Seatbelt" in memory of Paul Walker.

NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled "Airline Tragedies."

They are putting the pilot together right now.

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Two old widowers

Two old friends, both widowers, are sitting on a bench recounting the days of their youth and discussing what they've done in life.

Widower 1: My only regret is that I cheated on my wife early on in our marriage. I can only admit it now as my wife is no longer alive. I was young and foolish a...

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.

The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet hi...

After tonight's World Series game...

It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears.

If there's any doubt about what parts of The Hunger Games match the books, we can be sure at least one thing is true to the series; The sound played after someone dies during the games.

That's definitely cannon.

After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye.

but If he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.

TIL There are actually 5 movies in the Highlander movie series, the latest of which was made in 2007. But nobody talks about the 4 sequels because

There can only be one.

What would they call the 10th installment in the Fast and Furious Series?

-Fast 10 Your Seatbelts

-Fast 10 Furious

If the current Russian president is preparing to lead a series of swift military offensives...

...does that mean he's Putin on a blitz?

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Did you hear about Donald Trump masturbating?

Apparently it was a series of mini-strokes

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