UPJOKE
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Netflix is soon releasing an extremely realistic documentary series about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale is shot before a live audience.

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

It’s the World Series, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the field.

He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks the old man on the other side of the empty seat if someone will be sitting there.

“No,” says the old man. “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a s...

I found the first four books of the Harry Potter series to be quite lighthearted.

But the fifth one—-dead Sirius.

A Book Series Never Written…

“The Assignment Chronicles”

* Book 1 written by Ken U. Duitt

* Book 2 written by Noah Kent

* Book 3 written by Nora Cannai

* Book 4 written by May Neether

* Book 5 written by Al Trayet

* Book 6 written by Cole Laktiv-Raleif

So I'm making a TV series about a plane hijacking..

We've just shot the pilot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mee and my girlfriend wanted to see a series on Netflix...

She told me she wanted to see Vampire Diary, but I wanted to see La Casa De Papel so I told her "Fine, who ever has the biggest penis gets to choose whatever series they want."



So yea Vampire Diary is a nice show after all

A certain President of the Uinted States attends a World Series Game.

As the game is about to begin, the President grabs his wife and throws her through the window of the VIP box. As she lands on the horrified attendees seated below, a frantic aide comes running over yelling

"Nonononono, Mr. President! It's "throw the first *pitch*!"

Shortest TV series

Breaking Bad (Canada version)

My life is like an over produced comic book series

It's just one issue after another, and the plot doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

That World Series game was so long...

When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.

Did you ever hear that joke about Taylor series?

I don’t remember it exactly, but I can tell it pretty close.

HBO is reportedly planning on a new TV series based on Hermione from Harry Potter.

It's called Granger Things

Most characters in the Harry Potter series were represented well in their transition from book to movie;

But Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.

Quarantine is like a Netflix series

When you think it’s over, another season gets released

A long series of jokes

503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

_502._

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

_Open door, put elephant in, close door._

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

_Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door._

The Lion K...

Did you hear about the Netflix series Summer to Winter?

It never got a 5th season.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A series of jokes because I never see the full set

Why are elephants so good at hiding in trees?

Because you never see them.

How do they hide in cherry trees?

They paint their balls red and climb up

What's the loudest sound in the Savannah?

A giraffe eating cherries.

I just opened up a gym where my entire staff asks you a series of annoying questions every so often for the length of your stay.

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

Why Russian movies and series are mostly WWII themed?

They don't have to spend a single kopeika on props and decorations

They are making the next series of Walking Dead in Greece

It’s a total zombie Acropolis.

Apparently, all the tents from the Game of Thrones sets are being redecorated for use in a new mini-series on Genghis Khan.

I am not sure why anyone is surprised about the recycled Khan tent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A series of tuba jokes

What is a tuba for?

1 1/2" x 3 1/2".

How do you fix a broke tuba?

With a tuba glue.

What do you call ten tubas at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What do you call an arrogant tuba player?

A brasshole.

What's the difference between God an...

A fourth grade biology teacher is asking a series of questions to her students

Eventually she asks "What part of the body can grow ten times its normal size when stimulated?"

As soon as she asks that, a girl at the back of the class stands up and yells "EWW, THAT'S SO GROSS. HOW DARE YOU ASK THIS TO SMALL CHILDREN? I'M GOING TO TELL MY MOTHER ALL ABOUT THIS", then storm...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests...

The last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.

Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rationa...

Dark (Netflix Series)

I showed it to my daughter

.

.

.

.

.

Now is she is my mother.

PS: it was a comment on YouTube, i laughed pretty hard at it, thought i should share.

I have a few questions about the Buck Rogers TV series from 1979.

Never mind. I'll check Twikipedia.

Netflix announced it will be producing another 4 part docu-series on epilepsy

Don't miss the all new seiz'n

In the Cars movie series, they have a place called Radiator Springs.

Now, radiators are vital components in cars, so I find it's a very weird name decision for a city.

Its like calling a human city "Liver pool".

Never thought Netflix would produce an award-winning series watched by tens of millions around the world. But hey...

Stranger Things have happened.

David Benioff and Dan Weiss wrote this joke for the loyal viewers of the Game of Thrones series

Season 8

So Marvel and Ikea decided to do a crossover series. Marvel replaced the "Suit up" catchphrase with...

..."Avengers Assemble".

I own a series of vending macines

You know, in parks and stuff, you can get a coke, ginger ale, fanta, etc.

Business was going really well, so well I had to hire a guy to help. Right after I hired him though, sales plummeted.

Trying to figure out why, I went to a few of my macines. The snacks were fine, but the drin...

Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘once upon a time’?

No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected, I promise...’

They are making a TV series about the struggles of menstruating women over the years.

It is a period drama.

Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones....

Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.

In the Resident Evil series, how does one make a proper Jill Sandwich?

You put it between two slices of Breadfield and then add some Weskershire sauce.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people are saying the President had "a series of mini-strokes"

I'm not sure if they're talking about his golf game or how he masturbates.

Why are lights in a series more loyal than lights in parallel?

If one goes down in a series, they all go down with it.

After tonight's World Series game...

It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone hates a filler episode in a TV series.

But in porn, well that’s a different story.

Me - "Shall I buy the PS5 or the Xbox Series X?"

Wife - "I'd rather you buy an Eggs Box £3.60"


Lol my wife actually said this and I thought it was so dumb, it made me chuckle and that I thought I'd share it here.

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Corona...

If Valve made the Fire Emblem series instead...

The latest title would be Fire Emblem: Two Houses.

"All right, for our new Disney+ miniseries, we need to make it a thoughtful, highly entertaining original series AND it needs to connect to an existing Star Wars property."

"... Would you settle for And/or?"

I didn’t get the Xbox Series X I wanted for my birthday.

I need someone to console me.

I’m making a documentary series about how to fly planes.

I'm currently filming the pilot.

I got a recommendation from Pops on a TV series to watch

After watching it I can say it indeed was a jolly good show

I should have my own netflix series,

Cause gee do I have alot of episodes.

What do you call a series of timber planes?

A Fleetwood.

They're playing with the largest deck of cards ever at this year's World Series of Poker.

It's a pretty big deal.

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

The moment the Washington Nationals won the World Series

Was absolutely briceless.

Series of Cheesy Jungle Jokes

I always like to tell these in a series. I also like to milk jokes (drag them out a little longer than you would expect) so prepare for the cheese. There's a little flexibility in how you tell these jokes, and if you have any other jokes about jungle animals you can mix them in, but some of the orde...

NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled "Airline Tragedies."

They are putting the pilot together right now.

A series of dots and dashes is Morse code.

A series of sobs and tears is re-Morse code.

The new X Box Series or PS5 should have a CD stacker installed.

It would be a real game changer

I'm reading this awesome book series on invincible dogs!

I can't put 'em down!

I'm thinking of making a series of non-gloss self portrait dinner placemats

I'll name it My Multitude of Matte Mats of Matt by Matt

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

Why do all the Apple series start with “i”

Because you’re the Apple of my i

On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I?

9 3/4

Whats the most unrealistic part of the Harry Potter series?

That a ginger has two friends at school

If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series...

They should name the last one - "Fast10 - Your Seatbelt" in memory of Paul Walker.

This evening I watched a Series of Unfortunate Events

Then I turned off the news and watched Netflix.

I heard that Justin Timberlake will be doing one of the voices in the new dark crystal series

He’s bringing skeksis back

Why can't Trump form an arithmetic series?

He's only got one term

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Series of Romanian Alinuta jokes.

Sup ya'll! I've translated some dark Romanian jokes about a girl named Alinuta. Any other Romanians who know more please share!

-Brother: Mom, Alinuta hung herself in the basement!
Mom goes and looks to find nothing.
Mom: She's not there.
Brother: April fools! She's in the attic! ...

So, one of my friends was talking about the Dune series yesterday

He mentions a guy who gets an STD that turns him into a fat slug person.

I called him "Jabba the Nut."

What is a dermatologist's favorite aspect of the Harry Potter series?

Quit-itch

Unsure about the summation of series

I was testing my 7-year-old daughter on the summation of numbers 1 through 100 and she must not have been 100% sure about the result...

She told me her answer was 5050. True story. :-)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The series of events during Tekashi 6ix9ine’s trial:

Judge: I wanna be in a gang

Tekashi: I’m already in a gang

Judge: Fine then I’ll be a rapist

Tekashi: I’m already a rapist

Judge: I think we’re done here

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

**The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all...

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

I'm planning to make a film series on databases.

I've got the first part ready, but I can't think of a SQL.

I was watching a new television series on the 9/11 highjackings

And judging by the pilot it won’t last long

Mu favorite series of riddles when i was in high school. Hope you all like it as much as i did <3

Give 3 steps to put an elephant in a refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Put the elephant in
iii.Close it

AND THEN ASK

Give 4 steps to put a giraffe in the refrigerator.
i.Open the refrigerator
ii.Take the elephant out
iii.Put the giraffe in
iv.Close it
...

My friend told me that avengers endgame is twenty second film in the series.

It sure felt longer than that.

Hunger Games : Mockingjay

For the last installments of the Hunger Games series, the director has decided to make a change. In the new movies, Philip Seymour Hoffman will unexpectedly be killed by the heroine.

Have you heard about the investigation on the Harry Potter series?

It took them a while to get the story straight.

What would be the title of the TV series covering 'The Last Supper'?

Breaking Bread.

I haven’t watched the Epstein docu-series on Netflix but I already know the ending.

He didn’t kill himself.

There's been a series of senseless killings near my home this week.

The victims were all deaf, dumb or blind

An idea for a TV series

It's all about a young Irishman who makes his living collecting seaweed and herbs along the shores of Galway Bay, and his adventures as he travels to all the local town markets to sell them.

Working title: "Duffy the Samphire Purveyor"

Why can’t politicians do algebra? (A series of jokes)

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

Why was the comic book series depressed?

Because it had too many issues.

Ohio is stealing my life story

A series of train wrecks in an already depressed area

If there was a television series about a Deadhead surgeon, what would it be called?

A: Touch Of Grey's Anatomy.

What do you call a series of short strokes induced by consuming pizza?

Little Seizures

For the first time in their franchise history the Washington National’s are World Series champions

Scherzer threw his glove out of the way and everybody started crowding the mound, jumping up and down with pure joy. Man the expressions on their faces were completely Bryceless!

What's your favorite pickup line?

For me, it's the Ford F series.

Did you hear about the new spin-off/crossover series starring Chris Pratt?

It’s called Parks and Rex

What would they call the 10th installment in the Fast and Furious Series?

-Fast 10 Your Seatbelts

-Fast 10 Furious

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