I'm pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on the shelf I can't reach

but I don't want to jump to conclusions

What do you call a short Mexican?

A paragraph, because he’s too short to be an essay

What's the difference between a paratrooper and a paragraph?

One paratrooper is enough to satisfy your English teacher

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?

They're both short essays.

Really short Mexicans should be called paragraphs

Because they're not long enough to be an essay...

A joke you can read at work

Friend; this is marked NSFW and you listened to it and let me hook you in?

Understand me when I say this could have been anything, anyone could have seen your monitor directly or via a reflection in the window.

Can you imagine if it had been your boss or your highly sensitive colleage?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teen moves to a new school

A teen moves to a new school, only to learn it has a very similar social structure. There's only one group that he can't figure out. It's made up of a cheerleader, a goth girl, and a thot.

He finds a group he gets along with pretty well and asks one of his new classmates about them.

Th...

How do you identify a joke made by a redditor?

Proceeds to write three paragraphs.

My computer mouse isn't working properly

It could type paragraphs, but now it's just randomly slamming its tiny paws on the keyboard.

Have you heard about the judge who left his job to become a public speaking instructor?

He progressed from reading sentences to entire paragraphs.

The Last Exam

(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)

A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn’t exist.

Aft...

The magician's Publicity Stunt.

I asked a magician for an \[OC\] joke to post on reddit. (Yes, I asked a magician and not a comedian, I don't know many comedians personally, sorry.)

.

Instead, I got a long winded story of his most popular magic trick. He probably made it all up, but here it is.

.

It w...

Once upon a time was a magical land called Mad'ha

Said magical land, was in fact, not magical at all, and was a part of the African continent. There lived many primitive tribes who, despite their primitive primitiveness, had many advances in different subjects such as agriculture and architecture.

For centuries, this land experienced what we...

"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.

"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.

Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quadriplegic guy buys a mechanical arm

NSFW

A quadriplegic guy buys a mechanical arm to help him jack off.


The arm is voice commanded.


He decides to try it and he's very excited to be able to relieve himself after years of abstinence.


So he goes " jerking off "



The arm proceed to jer...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

When they get to the gate saint peter says, "Hi, welcome to heaven. You're going to have a great time. We only have one rule in heaven, and that is to never, ever, no matter what, step on a duck."

"Ducks?"

"Yes, if you do, you will receive a terrible punishment. You may enter."
So...

A man and two women die and go to heaven

They reach the pearly gates, where St. Peter greets them and has them sign some legal papers. They are confused, but sign anyway, eager to get to paradise.

As they finish, St. Peter points to the last paragraph of the papers, saying, "Pay special attention to that provision. Do NOT step on a ...

Testing

I'm testing how long jokes need to be to be tagged "long."

People say that it has more to do with paragraphs than words or anything, but someone just told me that it is posts over 450 characters.

You can downvote if you want, but I can't think of a better way to test this.

I've ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men go to heaven and St. Peter receives them

St. Peter doesn't know why they're there, they weren't supposed to die today, so 1 by 1, he takes them into his office and hears their story

Man 1 suspected his wife was cheating on him so one day he comes back from work early, only to find his wife laying on the bed, sweaty and heavy-breathi...

Never judge a book by its cover

Use the paragraph on the back instead..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A few somewhat racist jokes...

* What do Nike and kkk have in common?
They both make niggers run fast.

* Why do Jews like watching porno's backwards?
They like the part where the Hooker gives back the money.

* Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?
He heard Boys pants where half off.

* What do u call ...

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