I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph of an essay. How do I know?

I just came to that conclusion.

Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?

I wouldn't recommend it.

Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.

It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonym...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this kid named Jackson . . .

Jackson is about to have his first day of kindergarten.

He knows his name. He's like 5 or 6, or whatever age kindergartners are. They all know their names. That's important.

So Jackson goes into his class. His parents drop him off or whatever. Class starts and the teacher starts doing ...

A joke i heard recently and i have to share it

What do you call a small hispanic man?

Paragraph because he is too small to be an ese

I'm pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on the shelf I can't reach

but I don't want to jump to conclusions

I'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf...

But I don't want to jump to conclusions.

Not original, and not sure if it's been posted before, but it made me chuckle and thought I'd share.

What's the difference between a paratrooper and a paragraph?

One paratrooper is enough to satisfy your English teacher

What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?

They're both short essays.

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

Why do the homies call their friend Paragraph?

Because he's too short to be an essay

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having too much sex can cause memory loss

I read it in Men's Health Journal 2006 on page 73 paragraph 4 footnote 3.

First they came for the paragraphs. Then they came for the sentences. Then they came for the vowels.

nd thn thy cm fr m

Really short Mexicans should be called paragraphs

Because they're not long enough to be an essay...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys walk into a bar

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"

One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of your finest beer that I can lick my eye."

The barkeep says, "I've had guys come in here that could...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe’s Headaches

Joe is being plagued by terrible headaches.One day,after years of suffering,he decides to see a headache specialist.
The doctor tells Joe to strip ,inspects him all over and announces that he has found the cause of the headaches.”Your testicles are pressing against the base of your spine” says th...

Ever since I got my left leg amputated, every girl has been avoiding me.

I got into a car accident a few years back and had my left leg amputated. Getting used to balancing myself on 1 leg and crutches took a lot of time. I felt that without my precious left leg, i would never be the same.

My confidence dropped severely, and the passion i had for all the things i ...

My computer mouse isn't working properly

It could type paragraphs, but now it's just randomly slamming its tiny paws on the keyboard.

The magician's Publicity Stunt.

I asked a magician for an \[OC\] joke to post on reddit. (Yes, I asked a magician and not a comedian, I don't know many comedians personally, sorry.)

.

Instead, I got a long winded story of his most popular magic trick. He probably made it all up, but here it is.

.

It w...

"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.

"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.

Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I...

Have you heard about the judge who left his job to become a public speaking instructor?

He progressed from reading sentences to entire paragraphs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) A 90-year old man walks into a church confessional...

'Father,' he says, 'I'm 90 years old...been married for 70 years. Yesterday two college girls picked me up at the store. We drove to a motel and I fucked them both!'
'And are you remorseful?' asks the priest.
'Hell no.'
'So then what do you think of these sins?' the priest asks.
'What si...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

When they get to the gate saint peter says, "Hi, welcome to heaven. You're going to have a great time. We only have one rule in heaven, and that is to never, ever, no matter what, step on a duck."

"Ducks?"

"Yes, if you do, you will receive a terrible punishment. You may enter."
So...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quadriplegic guy buys a mechanical arm

NSFW

A quadriplegic guy buys a mechanical arm to help him jack off.


The arm is voice commanded.


He decides to try it and he's very excited to be able to relieve himself after years of abstinence.


So he goes " jerking off "



The arm proceed to jer...

A man and two women die and go to heaven

They reach the pearly gates, where St. Peter greets them and has them sign some legal papers. They are confused, but sign anyway, eager to get to paradise.

As they finish, St. Peter points to the last paragraph of the papers, saying, "Pay special attention to that provision. Do NOT step on a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men go to heaven and St. Peter receives them

St. Peter doesn't know why they're there, they weren't supposed to die today, so 1 by 1, he takes them into his office and hears their story

Man 1 suspected his wife was cheating on him so one day he comes back from work early, only to find his wife laying on the bed, sweaty and heavy-breathi...

Testing

I'm testing how long jokes need to be to be tagged "long."

People say that it has more to do with paragraphs than words or anything, but someone just told me that it is posts over 450 characters.

You can downvote if you want, but I can't think of a better way to test this.

I've ...

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