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Frat Jokes

Why do frat boys major in dental health?

Because they wanna see what that mouth do

What country in Africa has the most frat parties?

Chad.

Which insurance company offers full coverage to frat houses?

Brogessive

A group of frat boys walks into a bar

They order a round for everyone, and one of them hoists his stein up and says "Fourteen months!" And they all cheer and drink.

They all finish their rounds, and order another. They cheer "Fourteen months!" And drink. And more cheering, and more drinking, and each time one of them says "Fo...

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Politics is like a frat party.

People get crazy, everything gets destroyed, and somebody gets fucked..

What does a house full of frat boys partying without face masks and a cage full of Chinese pangolins have in common?

They're all nocturnal. What did you think I was going to say? (Seriously, though, wear a mask.)

What did the wizard say at the frat party?

Abracadabro.

What did the frat guy say when the other frat guy offered him a pamphlet?

Brochure.

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Why do frat boys think their girls are ninjas?

They never hear them cumming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men find a genie in the woods (FRAT Alert)

Three guys are hiking through the woods when they find an old lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms “You have finally freed me after all these years, so I’ll grant each one of you 3 wishes.” The first guy immediately blurts out “I want a billion dollars.” POOF, he’s ...

Did you hear the one about Jerry Lewis launching a line of clothes for frat boys?

He became a nutty 'bro dresser'

How do frat boys cut down trees?

With a sah, dude

What’s a frat boy zebra’s favorite letter?

Z, bruh.

why don't vampires go to frat parties?

they're afraid of natural light

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Two frat guys are stranded in the middle of the ocean

Brad and Chad have been stuck in a lifeboat for weeks. They're out of water and supplies, and they're sure they're doomed.

They notice a sealed bottle bobbing toward their boat and scoop it out of the water. They open it up, and a genie pops out.

"Thank you for freeing me!" the genie s...

What's a music major frat boy's favorite composer?

Debussy

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This is a joke I wrote myself. It’s long, but I think it’s pretty good, personally…

This is a story about three friends who had known each other their whole lives.

They did everything together. You could not find one without the other two nearby. But, as so often happens, after graduation, they all went their separate ways. One of the friends went on to become a very success...

Why do college frat boys drink before bathing?

Buds before suds, bro.

I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party...

and she woke up with more clothes on.

(Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke)

What’s the similarity between a vegan and a frat boy?

They always manage to slip it in.

What do Chinese terrorists do at a frat party?

They bro it up!

Why did the frat guy want to major in anatomy?

He thought he would get to study abroad

A college guy meets a hot chick at a frat party

They end up in her dorm knocking boots; he’s living every freshmans dream! After a breather, he notices the girl has tears in her eyes. He asks her what’s up and she says “I haven’t been truthful to you; I was raised as Christian” he shrugs. “ so? College life’s about experimenting and finding yours...

What is the frat guy's favorite ion?

Bromide

What do you call a frat house infected with coronavirus?

Brovid-19

How many frat bros does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None because it’s already lit

When testing, make like a frat boy

And bang out the easy ones first

What did the Frat boy say when the Mormon handed him a piece of paper?

Bro sure.

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The Lovely Tale of Opposite-Sex College Roommates

A guy and a girl are college roommates. No feelings at all. One day, the girl goes to a frat party and brings home the notoriously bi frat dude. She f*cks him, and then the next morning, tells him she has feelings for her roommate and so the two of them won't work out. The frat dude, just happy he g...

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Hospitals are weird

On one floor, a woman is bringing new life into the world, as her husband looks on.

On the next, a man is saying his heartfelt last goodbyes.

Finally, on the floor above that, a frat boy is having a television remote removed from his ass.

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Daycare is a lot like a frat house...

There's kids passed out in their clothes everywhere, it smells like piss and vomit, there's kids with magic marker all over their faces, and the girls walk around lifting their shirts up.

How many frat boys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they prefer Natural Light.

Very slightly based on a true story

When I was in college, our RA was in a frat, Alpha Chi Rho (usually Chi Rho for short.) They had this setup with some various clubs, athletes usually of some sort, because a lot of them majored in physical therapy and/or massage therapy, where they'd have the guys in the frat give therapy sessions.<...

[OC] I just spent my morning break writing this joke.

Jeff had spent most of his adult life in prison for a string of drug offenses and theft. He is finally being released at 28 years old after a decade in prison.

He approaches his jailhouse lover, Vince, a former English teacher and schoolboy fondler. Vince was a little sad to say goodbye, and...

What did the bank say to the government

Bank: Hey government. I need money to pay my workers or we're gonna go out of business.

Government: Hey bank. Sure. I remember you from Harvard, how are you doing?

Bank: Doing great, actually! I remember you too. Frat bros for life. Thanks for the cash.

Government: Frat bros for...

A jew, an episcopalian, a veterinarian, a hipster, a redneck, a goth, and a frat boy all walk into a bar that promotes diversity

The bartender says "sorry, we have enough whites."

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" Pizza. "Pizza who?"

Pete's a fucking asshole. He promised me that he would cover my shifts during this outbreak, but apparently we weren't eligible for government benefits due to some shady shit in his past. So instead of handling it like a GOOD ~~manager~~ HUMAN BEING, he decides to double up my shifts. Which, of cour...

Passing through his son’s college town late one night, a father decides to drop in and pay his kid a visit.

The father knocks on the fraternity house door. No one answers. He knocks louder, but still no answer. He begins to bang angrily on the door. Finally, a head pops out of a window on the second floor. “You need something, pal?” a frat brother asks from the window.



“Yes, does Billy Powe...

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A couple Americans walk into a bar in Ireland...

They're being loud and rowdy, real frat-boy types, and they're starting to get on everyone's nerves. After a while they go up to the bar and yell for the bartender.

"Hey bartender, gimme an Irish Car Bomb!" one says.

Now, you can probably guess it's a bit of a faux pas to order this mi...

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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.

Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blended Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.<...

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