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I watched an episode of America's Most Wanted last night that scared me so bad I'm afraid to even go outside now.

I'm afraid someone is going to recognize me.

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Have you heard about the new show about mountain goats?

Every episode ends on a cliffhanger.

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As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season....

I would love to congratulate myself for never watching a single fucking episode.

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Little Red Riding Hood, episode 2

After the terrible incident concerning her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood spent years in therapy. Her therapist was good, Red no longer feared wolves and was able to move out of her mothers house to a nearby cottage in the woods. One spring day Red picked a basket of wild flowers and thought sh...

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.

**Every** Scooby-Doo **episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.**

Prince Andrew is to star as the villain in a new episode of Scooby Doo

He would have gotten away with it too if he hadn’t have been meddling with those kids

A man buys a robot that slaps people when they tell a lie.

He decides to test it on his family at dinner that night.

The man asked his son, "Son, what did you do after school today?"

The son replied, "Oh, I just did some homework" and the robot slapped the son.

The son said, "Okay I actually watched a movie with my friends".

The ...

Watched an episode of a classic sitcom last night. The episode dealt with the topic of circumcision. I didn't enjoy watching it...

I hate when sitcoms run clip shows.

They say live fast, die young

But ESPN keeps rejecting my pilot episode of Baby Formula 1 Racing

Netflix: Do you want to watch a 10-hour movie?

Me: No way! Are you insane?

Netflix: How about I break up the movie into ten 1-hour episodes and you see them all in one sitting?

Me: I am in!

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Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men, Season 1 Episode 16

Alan: "I feel sorry that your heart has become so hard and small, that you've lost the capacity to connect with another human being on any level any more meaningful, than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids.



"Charlie: "Boy, leave it to you to take a beautiful thing like drunken s...

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My favourite nun joke

The nuns from the Convent of the Immaculate Conception were on a day trip when their bus went off the road, plunged over a cliff and they were all killed.

It had been a long day at the gates of heaven and Saint Peter had been counting down the minutes to knocking off time and some well-earned...

Did you see the episode of House Hunters with King Henry VII?

He was looking for a Lancaster House with a Tudor garage.

A new episode of my favorite Jamaican cooking show just came on...

What-Jamaican

I’m binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won’t let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.

Those are only available on Amazon Prime.

I got a computer to analyse every episode of Married With Children and it developed sentience based on what it learned.

It's an AI Bundy.

Marvel announced the first episode of the next season of "What If"

It's called "The DCU was Good"

The least specific name for a “Friends” episode:

“The one where Rachel’s nipples were erect”

What do you call the last episode of a show about allergies?

A sneezon finale.

I'm ashamed of myself for the dad joke I made today.

Coworker was talking about a Joe Rogan episode with Jim Miller where they talked about Lyme Disease.

We continued the conversation and at the end I said "I guess the kids have tik tok and we have tick talk." I don't know how to feel after that one. Had to share somewhere.

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A man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his body extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond belief.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down...

I watched the Indian version of How I Met Your Mother…

There’s just one episode and it is about the wedding.

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Alliterative news titles, Episode 1: January 6, 2021

CRAZY CONSERVATIVE CUNTS CAUSE CLUMSY COUP AT CAPITOL CULTIVATED ON CUCKOO CONSPIRACIES

Chef Tips

A chef walks into a bar, orders dinner and watches an episode of Hell's Kitchen on the bar TV. "You know, I used to be one of those chefs that yelled and shouted all the time," the bartender comments. "And then I discovered oven mitts."

Sure, I like to watch M*AS*H* episodes.

But not Alda time.

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I had an episode of explosive diarrhea during a heist at the bank

Shit went down real fast

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

How did Palpatine talk to Kylo Ren before episode 9?

Snoke Signals

An Arthur episode was banned in Alabama

In the episode the kids learn that their favorite teacher is about to get married and follow him around they see him meet a woman who they assume is his wife. They don’t like her so they try to stop the wedding. In the end it turns out that the woman was his sister and that their teacher was marryin...

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

Watching the latest episode of Forged in Fire. In the sharpness test, Doug Marcaida tested how much bread each blade would cut with just one slice...

The winner was so lucky he brought his 4-loaf cleaver.

Ever wondered why starwars episode 4,5 and 6 came before episode 1,2 and 3.

Because, incharge of scheduling Yoda was

I binged avatar: the last air ended last summer.

Some episodes gave me real Aang-xiety!

My mother has schizophrenic episodes

She lives in a nice house next to the San Francisco Bay, on a small melon farm (her choice...). She's an excellent farmer, even in her old age. And honestly she's a wonderfully sweet woman. But increasingly I find it very hard to visit. The problem is that when she has her schizophrenic episodes...

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Me: there’s too much crying in this episode of Naked and Afraid

Girlfriend: this is our sex tape..

Your MOM So Fat.

When She Walked In Front Of The TV I Missed Two Episodes.

"My name is Bennett, and I’m addicted to Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes featuring the omnipotent alien played by John de Lancie." "HI BENNETT."

Another depressing Q-Anon meeting.

Last night on the episode of "Criminal Minds" my wife was watching, the cops arrested a clown.

As a Dad of long standing, I'm happy to have seized the opportunity to yell "Don't try anything funny!"

After watching the first episodes of HBO's Chernobyl, as a resident of Pripyat, I can count on one hand all of the inconsistencies I have noticed.

So far, there are 27.

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Everyone hates a filler episode in a TV series.

But in porn, well that’s a different story.

Hospital patient lying in bed: "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

Doctor: "Yes, I'm sorry. We had to amputate your arms."



[A brief sketch from an ancient episode of 'Not The Nine O'Clock News']

Stupid TV Trivia- Here are some of mine- post your own!

Did you see "Gilligan’s Island" that time when they almost got rescued?

Remember that "Star Trek" episode when they met those aliens?

Did you catch "Jersey Shore" when they got drunk and had that fight?

How about "The Bachelorette" episode when she cried.

Did you see t...

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Jesus Christ was featured on a recent episode of Hoarders

Apparently, his saving really got out of control!

Q: What's the name of the Muppets episode where Gonzo kicked Kermit in the crotch?

A: Green Achers

How many Dragon Ball Z episodes does it take to change a lightbulb?

***Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z***

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If Theresa May was put in the same situation as the first episode of Black Mirror...

Do you think she would've been okay with the Prime Minister fucking her?

If Two and half men, the Big Bang theory and How I met your mother had ever done a crossover episode

It would have been called How I banged your mother with two and a half men

In Star Wars Episode I, we learn (spoilers)

That Anakin Skywalker has no father, the midichlorians caused his birth.



I guess his mom was forced into it.

Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode.

One could say it is a perfect 5/7.

What do you call the first episode of a TV series with a predominantly black cast?

A pilot, you racist

Have you ever seen uncensored episodes of Road Runner?

If you do you'll understand why they beeped him out.

Why do they call the first episode a pilot?

Because without one, the show would never get off the ground.

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Damn girl are you the green fish from Spongebob season 2, episode 20: Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, at exactly 21:52?

Because I'm gonna eat that ass.

I missed the latest episode of Rick & Morty

Boy, do I feel stupid now.

The game in the first episode of the new season of black mirror wasn't going to be called striking vipers

They wanted to call it Smash Bros but it was already taken

In a long lost episode, Superman has a close shave with death because his cloak wasn’t the right size.

It was a narrow S cape.

George Lucas announced that he'd like to make several changes to Episode I.

But I say let's let Qui Gons be Qui Gons.

Next Black Mirror episode will require

you to write and direct it yourself while Charlie Brooker goes on a vacation.

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The interactive Black Mirror episode wouldn't allow the therapist to show her genitals on camera.

Banned her snatch.

Did you hear what they're planning for the next episode of 'Glee'?

It's a 'Walking Dead' crossover.

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Since The Simpson's just reached the 600 episode milestone, I'd like to take a moment to remember it's importance to american history ...

Its unwaveringly realistic portrayal of the yellow people's disenfranchisement while pursuing the American Dream is a testament to our nation's tolerant spirit.

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The Hot Dog Episode

Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started bitching, complaining that he couldn't drink a hotdog. The other drunk told him his idea.

"What we do is buy a hotdog, ...

I had bad diarrhea so I went to the doctor; they gave me some pills and said I should take one after each 'episode.'

Unfortunately all the episodes are re-runs.

The people of Dubai were shown an episode of The Flintstones, and they don't like it...

But apparently the people from Abu Dhabi do!

My workplace is like an episode of Gilmore Girls

Fast paced and full of unlikeable characters.

Did you hear about the episode concept for Doctor Who where The Doctor accidentally falls into a food themed alternative dimension?

He was attacked by The Garlics

Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

Because Dey-go-bah.

They should make an R2-D2 origin story.

Like a “How it’s Made” episode.

What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming

Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show...

Orange is the New Black

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

What happened to the cast of House of Cards after shooting their last episode?

Kevin Spacey held a Rapp party.

What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore?

It depends on The Situation.

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What did Kanye West say when he saw the Red Wedding episode of Game of Thrones?

Dat shit Frey.

The secret episode.

"Hi! This is Khalid al-Mihdhar... and this is Jackass!"

^^^I'm ^^^going ^^^to ^^^hell ^^^for ^^^this

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