Watching the latest episode of Forged in Fire. In the sharpness test, Doug Marcaida tested how much bread each blade would cut with just one slice...

The winner was so lucky he brought his 4-loaf cleaver.

My mother has schizophrenic episodes

She lives in a nice house next to the San Francisco Bay, on a small melon farm (her choice...). She's an excellent farmer, even in her old age. And honestly she's a wonderfully sweet woman. But increasingly I find it very hard to visit. The problem is that when she has her schizophrenic episodes...

Why did they release Star Wars episodes 4, 5 & 6 before episodes 1, 2 & 3?

In charge of the schedule Yoda was.

How did Palpatine talk to Kylo Ren before episode 9?

Snoke Signals

An Arthur episode was banned in Alabama

In the episode the kids learn that their favorite teacher is about to get married and follow him around they see him meet a woman who they assume is his wife. They don’t like her so they try to stop the wedding. In the end it turns out that the woman was his sister and that their teacher was marryin...

Last night on the episode of "Criminal Minds" my wife was watching, the cops arrested a clown.

As a Dad of long standing, I'm happy to have seized the opportunity to yell "Don't try anything funny!"

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Everyone hates a filler episode in a TV series.

But in porn, well that’s a different story.

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Me: there’s too much crying in this episode of Naked and Afraid

Girlfriend: this is our sex tape..

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I heard they were making a new Power Rangers show, so I checked it out.

Since the producers wanted to show to be more fluid to all people, they decided to bring in new rangers. They had all the usual colored rangers, but then they started to add a few more as the show went on.


There were three new rangers that had different disabilities. One was colored ora...

I watched the Hindu version of How I Met Your Mother...

There's just one episode about the wedding.

Why was the TV show "The Bachelor" a failure in Saudi Arabia?

Episode 1, after 10 mins:

"I'll take them all..."

\- End -

I’ve been watching this Anime about dentists.

But it’s been getting boring. I’m a little tired of the filler episodes.

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A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi.

So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies an...

Right before the pandemic I was visiting Las Vegas.

Walking out of a casino one night, a frazzled looking dude comes up to me and commences with a sob story.

“Hey Mr. sorry to bother you but my wife and kids are in our hotel room, and I’ve got no money for food or gas for us to get out of town and go home. Any chance you could spare 50 bucks...

Have you ever seen uncensored episodes of Road Runner?

If you do you'll understand why they beeped him out.

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

After watching the first episodes of HBO's Chernobyl, as a resident of Pripyat, I can count on one hand all of the inconsistencies I have noticed.

So far, there are 27.

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat, when she walked by I missed the whole episode

How many super sayians does it take to skrew in a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 54 episodes, 2 failed spirit bombs, Killins death and an exploding planet and will be continued next time...

Why did Star Wars episode 4,5,6 came before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

My eldest put together a Dora joke

When my two younger sons were in the toddler to kindergarten age, they loved watching Dora the Explorer. Episode after episode. My wife & I found it very cute.

My eldest found it quite annoying. But he was a teenager then.

He came up with a Dora joke after a weekend of 500 (just...

For as long as I can remember, I've had a thing about pigeons.

I think they're fascinating creatures, robust, hardy birds that thrive the world over yet can live on just breadcrumbs and worms.

It was 'pigeon this' and 'pigeon that' as a child, my mom used to joke that I'd BE a pigeon if I could.

It was a bit of a struggle maintaining relationsh...

In Star Wars Episode I, we learn (spoilers)

That Anakin Skywalker has no father, the midichlorians caused his birth.



I guess his mom was forced into it.

The game in the first episode of the new season of black mirror wasn't going to be called striking vipers

They wanted to call it Smash Bros but it was already taken

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If Theresa May was put in the same situation as the first episode of Black Mirror...

Do you think she would've been okay with the Prime Minister fucking her?

What do you call the first episode of a TV series with a predominantly black cast?

A pilot, you racist

In a long lost episode, Superman has a close shave with death because his cloak wasn’t the right size.

It was a narrow S cape.

A young man is visiting his girlfriend at her parent's home for the first time...

He's looking for a cup to make some tea in when he notices a long row of handmade cups, each inscribed with what seems like half-words. Just then the girlfriend's mother walks in, and he asks her what the deal with the cups are.

"Oh those. They are our family cups, one for each member, they'v...

Apparently its illegal to show some cartoons in the middle east

Most cities won't screen episodes of The Flintstones but Abu Dhabi doooooooo

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

Ever wondered why starwars episode 4,5 and 6 came before episode 1,2 and 3.

Because, incharge of scheduling Yoda was

The Peanut

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.

As the couple takes in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear.

He tries to get it...

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Damn girl are you the green fish from Spongebob season 2, episode 20: Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, at exactly 21:52?

Because I'm gonna eat that ass.

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The interactive Black Mirror episode wouldn't allow the therapist to show her genitals on camera.

Banned her snatch.

Next Black Mirror episode will require

you to write and direct it yourself while Charlie Brooker goes on a vacation.

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Jesus Christ was featured on a recent episode of Hoarders

Apparently, his saving really got out of control!

If Two and half men, the Big Bang theory and How I met your mother had ever done a crossover episode

It would have been called How I banged your mother with two and a half men

I missed the latest episode of Rick & Morty

Boy, do I feel stupid now.

I had bad diarrhea so I went to the doctor; they gave me some pills and said I should take one after each 'episode.'

Unfortunately all the episodes are re-runs.

Why do they call the first episode a pilot?

Because without one, the show would never get off the ground.

I think my bipolar girlfriend is in a TV show.

She is always in the middle of an episode.

A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...

About 15 years ago, my girlfriend dumped me on a tv show that ended up airing on tv.

This is very personal information to me guys, so whatever you do, don't watch "To Catch a Predator" episode 3.

George Lucas announced that he'd like to make several changes to Episode I.

But I say let's let Qui Gons be Qui Gons.

My workplace is like an episode of Gilmore Girls

Fast paced and full of unlikeable characters.

Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite StarWars episode.

One could say it is a perfect 5/7.

Yo mama is so fat

When she passed by the TV I missed two episodes

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The Rich Man and The Poor Man

Tony tells this in an episode of The Sopranos:

A rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary. Every year they meet on Madison Avenue, when they're shopping for their wives. The poor man says to the rich man, "What'd you get your wife this year?" Rich man says, "I got her a huge ...

So they made a documentary on Netflix about Madeline McCann....

8 episodes, roughly 8 hours, and if you watched it you watched her more than her parents did.

What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video?

A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming

Did you hear about the episode concept for Doctor Who where The Doctor accidentally falls into a food themed alternative dimension?

He was attacked by The Garlics

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Since The Simpson's just reached the 600 episode milestone, I'd like to take a moment to remember it's importance to american history ...

Its unwaveringly realistic portrayal of the yellow people's disenfranchisement while pursuing the American Dream is a testament to our nation's tolerant spirit.

What happened to the cast of House of Cards after shooting their last episode?

Kevin Spacey held a Rapp party.

Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show...

Orange is the New Black

I hate this show.

It’s so poorly written. They introduce so many new characters, it’s impossible to keep track. And it seems like some of them hardly do anything, they just hang around and say, like, five lines per episode.

What’s it called? Hang on, let me check.

“Presidential debate.”

Dora the Puberty Explorer

The first episode constitutes an entire period.

What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore?

It depends on The Situation.

Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V?

Because Dey-go-bah.

Did you hear what they're planning for the next episode of 'Glee'?

It's a 'Walking Dead' crossover.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I were featured on Extreme Couponing last year.

Our episode of Hoarders airs next week!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Hot Dog Episode

Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started bitching, complaining that he couldn't drink a hotdog. The other drunk told him his idea.

"What we do is buy a hotdog, ...

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