A Doctor was chatting at a party with a Chartered Accountant.
He asked, "How do I manage this delicate issue when people even at a party like this ask me about their joint pains and heartburn and gas trouble. Just because I am a doctor.... not fair!"
The CA friend replied coolly, "Just tell them the right things politely but send them a bill from your c...
His request approved, the news photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.
He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, ‘Let’s go’. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in t...
A pilot's flying a small, single-engined charter plane with a couple of really important execs on board.
He's coming into Seattle airport, only there is thick fog, less than 10ft of visibility, and his instruments are out. So he circles around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he's pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. At last, in a small opening in the fog, he ...
I was recently on a charter flight with my hockey team where they seated you according to what position you play.
Damn near froze to death on left wing.
A senior citizen’s group charters a bus from Brooklyn to Atlantic City
As they entered New Jersey, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says “I’ve just been molested!
The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.
A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that ...
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A man and wife and the captain of a small charter boat capsized and ended up stranded on a deserted island.
It was a very small island with one solitary palm tree.Each day the captain and the husband of the wife would take turns climbing the tree to look for rescue vessels.This went on for days then weeks.The captain was starting to get restless and horny so he came up with a plan.He was high up in the tr...
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.....
With some luck they managed to bag Six.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only Four moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six as well! The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours!?!"
Highschool orchestra goes fishing
Some kids from the highschool orchestra go out on a charter fishing boat during summer break.
The captain comes out to talk to them and says "Any of you kids ever cast a net?"
"No sir, we're all from the brass section"
Captain Flint and his crew of cutlass wielding marauders, set sail for Clew Bay, ready to take down the Filthy Five Hundred and collect upon their bounty.
Retrieving the heads of these skallywags will net him $1 per ear, and Captain Flint was ready to lay down his life for it. With $1000 he could buy an entire fleet with 50 men per ship. He'd be the most feared Pirate in the Atlantic!
After 2 days of fighting by sea and shore, Captain Flint an...
What letter do pirate's hate the most?
Dear Charter Internet Customer:
Charter Communications ("Charter") has been notified by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your Internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material (e.g., music, movies, or software). We are a...
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Eric is in Hospital
Who the hell is Eric ?
Well,Eric is the geezer who got home late one night: Marilyn his wife was waiting for him with .... "Where the hell have you been?" Eric replies "I was getting a tattoo!"
"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred quid note tatt...
Drums good. Drums stop, bad.
A rich businessman is reading the newspaper one day, and stumbles across an article about North Sentinel Island and the indigenous people there who are virtually untouched by modern civilization. He decides on the spot, that he must see them for himself, however it is illegal to travel there. No mat...