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Uncles Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'll never forget my uncles last words to me...

"Dont shake the ladder you little shit"

Are you my uncles kidney?

Because you’re a failure.

What's worse than having ants in your pants?

Uncles.

If ant poison gets rid of your aunts, what gets rid of your uncles??

Anti-funcle cream.

All three of my uncles used to grow weed together

It was a joint effort.

How can you differentiate male ants from female ants?

They're all female, otherwise they'd be called uncles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

I'll never forget my Uncles last words on his death bed

"I am your Father"

Still doing the Star Wars impressions right to the end.

Paddy Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are discussing how great their uncles are

Paddy Scotsman says "my uncle is a priest, when he walks down the road everyone nods and say father"
"That's nothing" says Paddy Englishman, "My uncle is a bishop, when he walks down the road everyone BOWS and says your grace". Not to be outdone, Paddy Irishman looks at them both and laughs. "My ...

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that...

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