Everyone asks me why I eat like I got out of prison. I explain them that in a family with 5 siblings it's a race to the snacks like lives depend on it.

Also I've spent 9 years in prison.

I can always sense when my siblings are going to have a daughter.

I have telekineices.

Why doesn't anyone know about Napoleon's siblings?

Because they were born apart.

One day a man goes to his wife and says "Honey, I've never said anything before, but I need to know. I've noticed that of our seven children, that Jack looks different from the others. Does Jack have a different father than his siblings?"

The wife says "Yes, I admit it, he does."

The husband says "Who is his father?"

The wife says **"You are."**

A jewish grandmother

A jewish grandmother is at the beach with her 10 years old jewish grandson. She's chilling while he's playing in the water.

Suddenly, a huge wave comes and takes the kid away with it. The grandmother is obviously in tears and starts speaking to God.

"It's been more than 70 years since ...

Siblings

(noun) : people you either plan to murder or plan a murder with. There's no middle ground.

There were 3 siblings...

The first kid, Rose, comes to their mom:

Mommy, why my name is Rose?

Mom: Because when you were born, a little rose landed in your forehead...

The second one, Plumy:

And why my name is Plumy, mommy?

Mom: Because when you were born a lil plume landed in your forehea...

How do you tell two half-siblings apart?

The difference is apparent

What do you call a couple from Wales?

Siblings

My dad always said laughter was the best medicine.....

Probably why so many of my siblings died from tuberculosis.

What did Darwin’s son tell his siblings?

You’re adapted!

There were two siblings named Lee and Ling.

Lee and Ling were very close and as a result, they liked the same things and were very similar people. Lee decided that he wanted to change his name to Ving so that their names would rhyme, but they father disapproved of this. Since Lee really wanted to change his name, he and Ling snuck out togethe...

My pullout game is so strong that

You don't have any siblings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Daily puns until I get a relationship #1

My dog recently gave birth to a litter of puppies, and one of them is always fighting his siblings. He’s such a son of a bitch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Many years ago a Native American and his son were talking about the things of life.

After a pause in the conversation, the son asks, “Father, how did you come up with the names for me and my siblings?”

He replies, “As soon as each of you were born, I went out from the teepee and the first thing I saw is what I named you each. For example, after your brother was born, I looke...

One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?"....

The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".

What do you call two siblings that take your money?

Fine brothers

What do you get when you cross two siblings from Alabama and an escort business?

A family discount

What do you call a cannibal who keeps taking bites out of his siblings?

A munchkin

The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"

"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."

Satisfied, the child goes away.

Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"

"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when...

It’s International Siblings Day today...

or as Alabama calls it, Father’s Day.

Parents be like "I don't have a favorite child"

then use one of your siblings birth dates as a password

My girlfriend wants to break up with me and I don’t know why.

I’ve asked my parents, siblings, friends, wife, other family. No one can figure it out.

My dad always taught me to share my toys with my siblings.

It wasn't that he wanted me to develop social skills, it's because he was a cheapskate that wanted to spend 50% less money on toys.

What do you call a baby who’s parents are siblings?

An Alabamination.

What did our parents do to kill time before the internet?

I asked my 16 siblings and they didn't know either.

If identical siblings are both interested in something,

Do they have twin piques?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two teen siblings from Alabama

Two teen siblings from Alabama are in their house and their parents aren't home.
The sister says: "Imagine being in a room with everybody you've had sex with."
And the brother says: "I already am."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men get lost in a forest and kidnapped by a cannibal tribe...

The chief tells them that since they don't seem to mean any harm, they must pass a test and if they do, he'll let them go free, he'll even point them in the direction of civilization. But if they cannot complete the test, they will be killed and served for dinner. First, he sends each of the men in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken has a question for his mother

A young chicken goes to his mom and asks,"why are all of our names just chicken and nothing unique?"
She tells him not to worry and that he'll have a unique name soon, just like his siblings chili chicken, butter chicken and teriyaki chicken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are chatting

Guy 1: Are you a virgin? I am.
Guy 2: I was a virgin two days ago.
Guy 1: Okay, got any siblings? I don't have any,
Guy 2: I don't, but you will in about 9 months.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three sibling vampires are discussing who is the strongest.

The eldest eventually gets bored of debating and flies of into the night, coming back 5 minutes later covered in blood.

"Siblings of mine! See the lone house on the path into the city, silent and lost in a stripe of blood and fury?" shrieks the eldest with sadistic glory in his voice.

...

I always used to think ‘my parents are like siblings’

sounds so much better than, ‘my parents are, like, siblings.’

My grandfather, my mom, and my siblings all have diarrhea.

Runs in the family.

What did our grandparents do without TV or internet?

I don't know. Ask your mom and her 6 siblings.

Stop complaining!

My daughter recently went on a trip with some friends. While she was out, they went to the museum, attended a wedding (the reason for the trip), and went to see a movie, Frozen 2, as long as she promised not to spoil it for our family.

When she got back after her weekend, it seemed that bein...

Until today, I could never understand how my parents entertained themselves in their days, before smartphones were a thing

I asked my 72 other siblings and they haven’t got a clue either.

Feeling hopeless, I finally asked my parents and they said they played lots of sports. For some reason, I think they’re lying...

So, what's your profession again?

"Well", answered the man, "I'm a magician!"

"A Magician? What type of Magician?"

"It's a family business and I do the sawing down!"

"Family business? So do you have siblings?"

"Yes, two half brothers"

Someone told me I look like a Greek god:

Incredibly vain, melodramatic fool who’s parents are probably siblings.

My brother and I both went to the mall today.

We were both hanging around, having a nice time together. Then suddenly out of a blue, a guy came up to us, holding a lighter in his hand. He looked awfully fishy and he gave us a strange stare.


"Hey, boys. Ya mind if I ask ya a question?"


"What is it?" My brother asked, unper...

I wonder...

I always wondered what my parents did to pass time before things like the internet and TVs were invented.
I asked my 26 siblings for advice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[long] A pregnant woman was standing in line at a bank.

All of a sudden a masked man bursts through the front door waving a gun wildly around. He shouts that he is robbing the bank and that everyone in it is now his hostages. The police soon arrive and in the ensuing stand off shots were exchanged from both sides, the woman was struck three times in her ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a king ready to abdicate.

So he brought in his 3 sons. He tells them, "Each of you will receive a trial, the first to complete their trial will become king."

Beginning with his eldest son, a brave and foolhardy man of great stature he says, "You are to bring me your grandmother's emerald ring, lost decades ago in the ...

Two Alabamans decide to end their romantic relationship. One says to the other,

"Let's just be siblings."

The Nurse Asked My Family's Medical History Today at the Doc's Office

Nurse: "Do you have siblings?"

Me: "Yes, a younger brother.

Nurse: "Does he have any medical issues?"

Me: "He broke his finger on his right hand hitting someone in a bar fight."

Nurse: "Oh, okay. Anything else?"

Me: "He's battl...

The Americans and Russians

at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's...

For a while now, I always wondered how my parents passed the time in the 80’s and 90’s without social media

I asked my 32 other siblings and they’ve got no idea either.

There was a woman with a hundred children

There was a woman with a hundred children. She lacked the creativity to name all of them, so she just named them 1 through 100.

Eventually, through a series of misfortunes, 99 of the children died. Only the one named 90 survived. 90 grew up healthy, thankfully. She found a man and fell in lo...

I never could figure out what people did for entertainment before the Internet...

None of my 17 siblings can figure it out either.

Yo momma is so stupid...

... she single-handedly became a threat to literally millions of people by deciding not to vaccinate you or your siblings.

Waitress: "Wow, you eat really fast!" Me: "Yeah, I come from a big family."

Waitress: "Oh yeah? How many siblings do you have?"

Me: "None. My parents are just super fat."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Those brother/sister pornos are fucking weird.

Never once have I called my siblings 'bro' or 'sis' while we're having sex.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl asks how she got her name.

Her mom says “Well when we were bringing you home from the hospital a rose petal landed on your face, so we named you rose. We named your brother ray because a beam of sunlight hit him on the way home from the hospital too.”

From the next room the third siblings says

“Hyrnagamadrgs!”...

I was wondering what my parents did without the internet

and none of my 7 siblings could tell me

I wonder what my parents did for fun when they were younger...

I don't know, I guess I'll go ask one of my 13 siblings...

Did your mom stop making jokes?

Or do you have younger siblings?

My parents' motto is "Try and try until you succeed", and as the Firstborn, I don't get it.

and so does my 25 younger siblings.

A kid grew up with a inattentive father...

He wasn’t around much and didn’t really make an effort. Was emotionally distant and at times cruel. But the kid was very close with his sister, brother and mother.

Years go by, he goes to college, goes to grad school and has a great career. He becomes a renowned scientist respected by all. <...

Carl walked into the bar…

And ordered 3 beers. The Bartender asked “Are you sure you want all three now? They’ll be warm. I can give them one at a time if you’d rather?”

Carl replied, “My two brothers and I made a pact that whenever one of us drinks, we’d take two more at the same time for our siblings.”

The ba...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.