My mother recently passed away, and my aunt and cousins are a bunch of reprobates.

Isn't that what you call them when they're trying to contest the will?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn’t the lemon and lime have sex?

Because they were cousins and that would be inzest.

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car....

'D' to go forward.

'R' to go reverse.

my first love just broke up with me…

eh, at least we can still be cousins

Our two granddaughters promised us to let their younger cousin Jimmy (a little boy) to be included in their play.

After a while I found the 2 girls playing house in their room but Jimmy was nowhere in sight. Glancing outside I found Jimmy sitting alone on the front step.

"I thought you were playing house with your cousins.

He answered, "I am. I'm the dog and the dog isn't allowed in the house!"

In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys

In Europe we call them Royals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman meets the Italian

One day, a woman has a date with a French guy at his hotel room, floor 10. The french guy makes the balcony in a romantic mood, wine, food so the woman can enjoy the time with him.

After some time, woman asks the french guy:

Woman: If I would be your girlfriend, how would you treat me?...

A serial killer started kidnapping and killing all female cousins of his mother & father.

When arrested and asked for reasons, he said, “I just heard that you need Aunty-bodies to build immunity against Covid.”

I like my cousins like my ham

Inbred

To our American cousins...

Its lift, not elevators.
Cash machine not ATM.
Hospital, not business.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you catch peanut butter and jelly having sex but they find out that they're cousins?

Inbread.

I felt really bad after sleeping with my third cousin

So I stop counting.

My cousins are like the letter K.

They are ok by themselves, but when three of them get together, they are just horribly racist.

Paddy had just arrived in New York from Ireland and was invited by one of his American cousins to go to his first baseball game.

Seated in the Yankee Stadium bleachers, he watched as a man swung a
stick, hit a ball and started toward a white bag
down the line. Everyone stood up and yelled,
"Run, run!"
Then a second guy came up to the plate,
whacked the ball and started down toward the
white bag. Everyone sto...

What do you call cousins who sleep together?

Nap kins

So I banged my 3rd cousin the other day

I'm really surprised how I even managed to bang more than two of my cousins

Why are panthers so much stealthier than their jaguar and leopard cousins?

Because they're never spotted.

My 5 y/o cousins joke :)

Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

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