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Cousins Jokes

My 5 y/o cousins joke :)

Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car....

'D' to go forward.

'R' to go reverse.

In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys

In Europe we call them Royals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cousins husband lost his penis in the war

He seems fine with it but ever since shes been fucking nuts

My cousins are like the letter K.

They are ok by themselves, but when three of them get together, they are just horribly racist.

Two cousins go to the unemployment office.

They ask the first one what he does and he tells them “pilot”. They tell him they can get him a job immediately. They ask second cousin and he’s says “woodcutter” they tell him it may be difficult to place him because its not really a specialty. “Well you said you could get my cousin a job right awa...

My cousin died recently in an accident at the bakery....

He always said he wanted me to be a baker too, he told me I was bread for baking. I never tried it because I wanted to do it for the right reasons, not just because I knead the dough... then I found out that he was killed... a new baker put too much yeast in a large batch of dough and it rose too mu...

To our American cousins...

Its lift, not elevators.
Cash machine not ATM.
Hospital, not business.

Broke up with my girlfriend today

It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.

I like my cousins like my ham

Inbred

My cousins once got married.

It was awkward - someone asked if I was family of the bride or groom.

I said, "Yes."

What do you call cousins who sleep together?

Nap kins

My mother recently passed away, and my aunt and cousins are a bunch of reprobates.

Isn't that what you call them when they're trying to contest the will?

Today, I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother, Broco Lee.

I met a few of his cousins too;

The one who can't take a joke, Serious Lee.

The one is always there last minute, Sudden Lee.

The one who doesn't understand Metaphors, Literal Lee.

The one who is always throwing shade, Sarcastic Lee.

The one who is so sure of himsel...

Why are panthers so much stealthier than their jaguar and leopard cousins?

Because they're never spotted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People told me fucking 3rd cousins is acceptable.

One more to go :D

[NSFW] WHERE do cousins come from?

Ant Holes

My cousins zodiac sign was cancer, kind of ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn’t the lemon and lime have sex?

Because they were cousins and that would be inzest.

Cat Cousins (OC)

Did you hear about that bobcat who found his long lost cousin?

He followed lynx in his family.

My mom’s cousin just had quintuplets!

Looks like I’ll have five second-cousins. Too bad she’s an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.

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