UPJOKE
dublinschladmingchicagoathleticsberlinaustriagrazeventolympiceventsforworldcompetitionfullhere

What do the Special Olympics and a hand job have in common?

You appreciate the effort but you could do it better.
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Why did they cancel basketball in the Special Olympics?

All the players kept getting disqualified for excessive dribbling.
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why isn't diving an event in the Special Olympics?

It's a pain in the ass to retrieve the wheelchairs.

Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics?

It wasn't going over too well.
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Betsy Devos wants to defund the Special Olympics

Talk about kicking someone when theyโ€™re Downs
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Trump says that the Special Olympics will still be funded despite DeVos' plan.

This is presumably so Eric and Don Jr can still compete.
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We learned today that Trump blocked a proposed budget change that would have eliminated finding for the Special Olympics.

He must have been pretty mad at the thought of being unable to compete this year.
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Special Hand Job on Olympic

Getting a hand job from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...
You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...
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There are so many politically correct terms for disabled people nowadays...

Things like "special needs," "special ed," and "special Olympics," that's why it worries me so much when I hear of the "special forces" going to war.
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How can you be both fast and slow at the same time?

Win the gold medal at the special Olympics.
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What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
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I find humour in the simple things...

That's why I am banned from all Special Olympics events.
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

doping olympics [translated from an old Russian anecdote, 2007]

Good day! We are reporting live from our special Olympics. At our Olympics there's no doping control at all. Yes, you heard it right, sportsmen are NOT tested for doping. Absolutely. So...


- Finnish sportsman has jumped 27 meters. A very good result indeed for a chess player.

- 13 ...

A new report indicates Brazilians no longer support the 2016 Olympics

They're too busy raising the team for the 2036 Special Olympics.
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