A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thro...

Why doesn’t cinderella play sports?

Because she has a pumpkin for a coach, and runs away from the ball.

Jesus favorite sports?

Crossfit

What is Donald Trump and Ted Nugent’s favorite sports team?

The Dodgers.

(Low, low hanging fruit. My sincerest apologies.)

Did you hear about the man with a foot fetish that was terrible in sports?

He enjoys defeat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three sports fans leave a bar...

(Insert teams A, B and C as you like. This is how I know it.)

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they deci...

A Sports Medicine Physician went to Wrestlemania one year to study the rate of concussions among the performers.

While backstage, he bumped into John Cena, and asked him if any of the matches qualified for Continuing Medical Education credit.

The Doctor of Thuganomics looked the physiatrist dead in the eyes; paused, then slowly replied: "No. You can't CME."

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My kitty ate a sports award. Would it be very bad to just wait and let him poop it out?

I'm thinking it would be a cat ass trophy.

Met a girl who was into sports

She said she was in a football team and had to prevent goals at all costs.



She was a keeper.

I saw a sports car being driven by a scantily clad sheep

It was a Lamb-Bikini...

What do missionaries call heretics easily swayed with lavish sports cars?

Convertibles

Sports commentators are the least gullible people in the world

They never seem to believe anything that happens.

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde’s drivers license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

“What does it look like?” She finally asked. The police women replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror...

A hip young man goes out and buys a 2001 Ferrari 360 Spider. It is the best convertible sports car, costing about $250,000.

He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped, wearing an open face crash helmet (looking about 70 years old) pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny red surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The youn...

A lot of cities like to name their sports teams after their states major disasters

For example:

- Chicago Fire (Soccer)
- Colorado Avalanche (Hockey)
- Kansas City Tornadoes (Basketball)
- San Jose Earthquakes (Soccer)
- Miami Hurricanes (Football)
- New York City Jets (Football)

Original joke taken from a comment by u/toastytreats

The Golden State Warriors just suffered the second biggest sports collapse to date...

First probably has to go to Notre Dame.

I found an origami sports channel..

..but it's paper view only

A boss shows one of his employees his new sports car.

“That is amazing,” the employee responds.

“Isn’t it?” replies the boss. “And if you set your goals higher and work even harder this year, I can get an even better car next year.”

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed...

French person: Do you do sports?

Me: Wii

What was George Bush’s favorite sports team?

The New York Jets

Americans always get sports wrong.

Why would the Super Bowl have no bowling?

What do you call a man who's spent all night drinking at a sports bar?

A cab.

Someone at a sports event says “In all of my years as a spud, I have never seen a play as amazing as that one”. Who was that someone?

The common tater

My son's favourite nursery rhyme taught me what strategy mice use to win sports games.

They like to run down the clock.

Person A: hey, does your dad like sports?

Person b: no, my dad hates sports

Dad: hey sport

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Losing my virginity was like school sports day...

I was bruised and bloody, but at least my father came.

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

A blonde rear-ended a sports car...

A blonde was driving and accidentally rear-ended a sports car. It wasn't much damage but it was enough to give the sports car a dent and scratched paint.

A large man got out of the sports car and was red with rage. He yelled at the blonde to get out of her car. She did, and the man drew a cir...

Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events?

Because he never likes the steakes.

What's the difference between women, and an exotic sports car?

I've been inside exotic sports cars...... :(

What do you call Christmas night when your favorite sports team finally wins?

The First No L

As an intolerant dyslexic sports enthusiast...

I really hate all transrefs coming between seasons in college football.

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies.

Now I am good at everything.

For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.

Man, horses must really hate us.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yeah, saying the same thing as the sports commentator is good, but...

Have you tried sex?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch...

It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I ...

Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?

All those fans

One Sunday after church,

Father Tom was approached by Dave, who had been a regular churchgoer for years, but had recently been missing service. Father Tom asked him if everything was okay, as he had missed several services over the last few months. Dave told Father Tom "I've been working non-stop trying to save my business....

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