A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thro...

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

A lot of cities like to name their sports teams after their states major disasters

For example:

- Chicago Fire (Soccer)
- Colorado Avalanche (Hockey)
- Kansas City Tornadoes (Basketball)
- San Jose Earthquakes (Soccer)
- Miami Hurricanes (Football)
- New York City Jets (Football)

Original joke taken from a comment by u/toastytreats

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.



‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’



The driver finally f...

A boss shows one of his employees his new sports car.

“That is amazing,” the employee responds.

“Isn’t it?” replies the boss. “And if you set your goals higher and work even harder this year, I can get an even better car next year.”

The Golden State Warriors just suffered the second biggest sports collapse to date...

First probably has to go to Notre Dame.

I found an origami sports channel..

..but it's paper view only

What was George Bush’s favorite sports team?

The New York Jets

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed...

Person A: hey, does your dad like sports?

Person b: no, my dad hates sports

Dad: hey sport

French person: Do you do sports?

Me: Wii

Americans always get sports wrong.

Why would the Super Bowl have no bowling?

Someone at a sports event says “In all of my years as a spud, I have never seen a play as amazing as that one”. Who was that someone?

The common tater

My son's favourite nursery rhyme taught me what strategy mice use to win sports games.

They like to run down the clock.

What do you call a man who's spent all night drinking at a sports bar?

A cab.

Losing my virginity was like school sports day...

I was bruised and bloody, but at least my father came.

A blonde rear-ended a sports car...

A blonde was driving and accidentally rear-ended a sports car. It wasn't much damage but it was enough to give the sports car a dent and scratched paint.

A large man got out of the sports car and was red with rage. He yelled at the blonde to get out of her car. She did, and the man drew a cir...

What's the difference between women, and an exotic sports car?

I've been inside exotic sports cars...... :(

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch...

It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I ...

We discussed concussions in Sports Medicine today

Talk about a headache

Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events?

Because he never likes the steakes.

What do you call Christmas night when your favorite sports team finally wins?

The First No L

As an intolerant dyslexic sports enthusiast...

I really hate all transrefs coming between seasons in college football.

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies.

Now I am good at everything.

Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?

All those fans

For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.

Man, horses must really hate us.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Yeah, saying the same thing as the sports commentator is good, but...

Have you tried sex?

It’s a good thing the popular sports drink was invented at Florida instead of Florida State...

Because “Gatorade” is a much better name than “Seminole Fluid”.

Three guys die...

and Saint Peter stops them at the Golden Gates. He tells them, "Depending how faithful you were to your wife, depends what kind of car you drive across the Golden Bridge to heaven."

​

First guy says, "I was married 10 years and only cheated three times."

&#x200B;<...

What sports channel does Lando Calrissian watch?

BESPN

At a medical check-up: Do you do dangerous sports?

Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three sports fans leave a bar...

(Insert teams A, B and C as you like. This is how I know it.)

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they deci...

Why were the geometry students so bad at sports?

Because they were really out of shape.

My boss showed up to work in a brand new sports car

“Wow, that is a really amazing car” I said to him

“Thanks” he replied, “If you work hard, strive for excellence, and always put in your hours, I’ll buy another one next year”

A man gets in a fight with his wife

A man gets in an argument with his wife during dinner. After the meal, the husband furiously runs down to their wine cellar and opens a bottle of vintage wine. Magically, a genie comes out of the bottle and says "You have freed me. You now have three wishes. But you should know, whatever you wish fo...

Which famous astrophysicist used to play sports?

Neil Lacrosse Tyson

I bumped into an old school friend today.

He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend." He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said, "No, she's a optician.

EA Sports™ - It's in the game.

jk its in the dlc

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I never participated in sports...

But I still got atrophy

An American man walks into a British sports store.

"How much do those weights cost?"

"Ten pounds"

"I know how much they weigh, I want to know how much they cost."

What noise does a sports car from Pittsburgh make?

YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS
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