Everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009...

They don't understand how killer the commute from Moscow is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Long) A guy driving a brand new convertible Corvette stops at a gas station to fill up on his inaugural drive

(This is my dad's favorite joke)


He gets out of the car, throws a hundred at the attendant to fill it and tells him to make sure not to scratch it, then goes inside to buy some snacks. While he's inside, an old hillbilly wearing an old tatter shirt with suspenders putters up to the gas st...

What did the inaugural ribbon for the new hotel say before being cut?

Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort

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When Obama made his inaugural speech, they put him behind bulletproof glass.

And that's proof of the racism that still exists in America today. I mean, just because he's black, doesn't mean he was going to go and shoot everybody.

Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?

He had a killer final draft.

I'm going to the inaugural meeting of the Dodgem Car Appreciation Society later.

They're expecting a bumper crowd.

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I waited a long time for my testicles to descend

When one finally did I had an inaugural ball

My friend Larry says he knows everyone...

During President Obama’s inauguration, Larry told me, "You know, Obama and I are buddies." said, "Sure you are." He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me." Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama w...

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