A new report shows that a million of these people enter our country every year...

A new report shows that a million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Australians and our government is doing nothing to stop them and they even support them, not to mention they're dirty and t...

There are so many shows of flat-earthers trying to find the edge of the earth

They'll be so disappointed when they realise that not of them end on cliff hangers

A new study shows that fertility is hereditary

If your parents didn't have any children, chances are you won't either.

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A big city doctor visits an Native American tribe full of men and he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"

"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey....

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A survey shows that 85% of men masturbate in the shower. The remaining 15% sing. Do you know what they sing?

...No, I thought you probably didn't. ;)

I got this really cool Mickey Mouse watch. It shows the time very clearly.

The dial is really really handy.

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem, the captain's parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show:


"Look, it's not the same hat!"


"Look, he's hiding the flowers unde...

With all of the shows such as Black-ish, Mixed-ish, and Grown-ish, TV executives have announced a new show about the people of an island in the North Atlantic.

They are going to call it Ir-ish.

A recent study shows that 8 out of 9 people vaccinate their kids.

That's one asinine statistic.

A magician is doing well with his shows on a cruise ship until the Captain buys a parrot as the ships mascot.

From then on every night the magician does any of his tricks the parrot squawks out "He's got a card up his sleeve" or "he had the dove in his pocket" or "there were two pieces of string". Every night the parrot ruins his shows. One night the ship collides with something and all the alarms go off. L...

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[NSFW] A study just released shows that 84 percent of all people admit to masturbating regularly.

Scientists are very encouraged. The 16 percent rate of lying is the lowest they have ever measured.

A study done by me shows that 74% of people are bad at mathematics.

Fortunately, I'm in the remaining 34%.

Some might doubt that TV shows inspired hundreds of thousands of people to raid Area 51 looking for supernatural beings

but I've seen stranger things

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The latest research shows more money is now spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research.

This means that by 2040, the elderly will all have perky tits and stiff cocks, but absolutely no idea why.

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A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books.

The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made.
Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement.
They a...

A pompous student is taking a college course but never shows up to class. on the day of exams...

On the day of exams the student comes in and starts writing his essay with the rest as if he’s been there the whole time. The professor sees this and thinks how weird it is that the kid is taking the exam without going to the classes. Anyways the time is nearing the end and the professor announces t...

My dentist has a TV on the ceiling so the patient can watch shows while he works

Netflix and Drill

*shows pictures of different brands of stereos that are black

Damn, that's a lot black stereo types.

How come when NASA shows pictures of their black hole, it’s “breaking news”

But when I show pictures of mine it’s an “HR violation”

A man goes to heaven and is greeted by an angel who shows him around the place

"Over there is a local restaurant, it's guaranteed to have your favorite meal there" said the angel

"And over there is a theater, and to the left, there's a swimming pool"

The angel soon finishes the tour and finds that the man is overjoyed.

The angel had one more thing to say t...

Just learned that a dentist a block away from me was arrested for dealing drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him him for over ten years.

Never knew he was a dentist.

A recent study shows that a weird side effect of doing too much cocaine is really glossy skin.

Scientists are calling it the Charlie Sheen.

A canibal shows up late to a dinner

He ended up getting the cold shoulder

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A recent study shows that 60% of people use their cellphones to cheat on their partners.

The remaining 40% prefer to use their penis.

When an instagram guy shows you a meme

Lol, I already reddit.

Research shows

that the people of Saudi Arabia don't like "The Flintstones"..

But the people of Abu Dhabi do.

New research shows that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy and as good for you as a 20 minute jog.

So now I’m sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.

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