I was fired from my job in a restaurant kitchen for refusing to slice up one of the condiments with a knife...
I just didn't cut the mustard.
What's the difference between an attorney and an onion?
You cry when you slice up an onion.
An Englishman, Scotsman and Donald Trump are in the Sahara desert (see, I’ve changed it so it’s current)...
The Englishman is carrying an umbrella, the Scot is holding a cucumber and Trump is carrying a car door. A Bedouin approaches and asks why the Englishman has an umbrella in the desert. The man replies. “Well, when it gets really hot, I put up my brolly and I can keep cool in the shade.” The Be...
If you slice up a large pizza, that's no big deal.
But if you slice up a medium, you can get jail time.
And she should have seen it coming.