What are the preferred pronouns in Alabama?

He/Haw

My uncle's joke he just came up with: What are chocolate's preferred pronouns?

Her, She

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?

He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.

Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.

Their number one answer was,

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE?!”

What’s a judge preferred breakfast?

Oathmeal

My preferred pronoun is "letter"

I was born female, but I identify as mail

Why is apple juice the preferred drink for women?

Because OJ will kill you

What is an Asian Canadian's preferred soup?

Miso Sorry

What is a dyslexic person's preferred alternative energy source?

It's unclear

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our com...

My Mother lived to be 98 years old, and SHE never needed glasses..

She preferred to drink straight from the bottle.

My wife asked what panties i wanted her to wear on our date, i said i preferred

[Removed]

I made a grave mistake asking a customer if he preferred smoking or non-smoking.

Apparently, the correct term is "cremation" and "burial".

I asked my friend what kind of car audio system he preferred and he said it didn't matter because they were all the same...

...apparently he has a problem with stereotypes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First time

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 5 husbands.  On their wedding night she told him, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."

"How can that be with all your marriages?"

"Husband #1 was an Engineer, he understood the process, but wanted three years to resea...

What is Harry Potter's preferred method of going down a hill?

Walking.



JK Rowling!

What is a pirate's preferred lodging on vacation?

Arr B&B

(not to be confused with their favorite fast food, Arr B's)

Millennials 20 years ago: Looting and polluting is not the way!

Millennials now: If I burn enough fossil fuels, maybe one of my random digital coins will become the preferred method of money laundering and make me rich.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An amateur woodworker moves to a new neighborhood and makes some friends at a local bar he goes to every other week.

An amateur woodworker moves to a new neighborhood and makes some friends at a local bar he goes to every other week. As a way to say thanks to the community, he offers to take down and rebuild a brand new deck at the bar. The bar owner, who practically lives at the bar day-in day-out, doesn't want t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pull out and pray isn't just my preferred method of birth control

It's also how i use my debit card

What's Michael Jackson's preferred pronoun?

Hee hee

What is an alligator's preferred map projection?

Mergator Projection

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman, on a blind date with a stockbroker, asked her companion what his favorite stage of human development is, what she should be doing in the stock market, what his sexual orientation is, and about his preferred way to end a conversation. His answers left her feeling very in sync with him.

"Baby, buy, bi, bye."

The European Union commissioners announce that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications...

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil ser...

I've always preferred silent comedy.

I do the comedy, everyone else responds with silence.

What is the preferred sandwich of the working class? [OC]

A plebian-J.

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