UPJOKE
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My preferred reddit username is like my preferred partner.

Both are already taken.

What are a chocolate kiss’ preferred pronouns?

Her/she

What do you call couples that use the rhythm method as their preferred form of birth control?

Parents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hammer’s preferred foreplay…

Fingerbangin’

Yo mamma so fat, her preferred pronoun is

There

I now identify as boring.

My preferred pronouns are ho/hum.

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

A woman who worked at a glory hole was asked if she preferred some members over others. Her response?

All in all it's just another prick in the wall.

What's the Preferred Luxury Automobile of Sushi Chefs around the world?

Rolls Rice

My uncle's joke he just came up with: What are chocolate's preferred pronouns?

Her, She

Why is baseball telecaster Karen's preferred job?

She gets to speak with the manager after each game

I got a sweater on my birthday

I would have preferred a moaner or screamer.

What is the sub-genre of metal preferred by most tuna fish?

Alba-core.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.

Their number one answer was,

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE?!”

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart. But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth. 6 respected 9, even though ...

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?

He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.

Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.

Why is apple juice the preferred drink for women?

Because OJ will kill you

My wife asked what panties i wanted her to wear on our date, i said i preferred

[Removed]

What’s a judge preferred breakfast?

Oathmeal

My preferred pronoun is "letter"

I was born female, but I identify as mail

What is a dyslexic person's preferred alternative energy source?

It's unclear

I didn't think "Frozen" was very good. I preferred the sequel:

*Thor.*

My grandmother lived to 98 and she never needed glasses.

She preferred to drink straight from the bottle.

What is an Asian Canadian's preferred soup?

Miso Sorry

I asked my friend what kind of car audio system he preferred and he said it didn't matter because they were all the same...

...apparently he has a problem with stereotypes.

I made a grave mistake asking a customer if he preferred smoking or non-smoking.

Apparently, the correct term is "cremation" and "burial".

Die Hard franchise is looking for a new lead actor now that Bruce Willis is retiring.

Apparently Jada Pinkett Smith is their preferred choice.

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