This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said she preferred sex on holiday

...it wasn't the best postcard I have ever received

What are the preferred pronouns for a Witch

He He He

What is the preferred footwear of pedos?

White Vans
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was approached by a beautiful woman in Thailand and she kept saying “Small penis, don’t mind, small penis, don’t mind”

I would’ve preferred her not to have had a penis at all but oh well.

My preferred reddit username is like my preferred partner.

Both are already taken.

What do you call couples that use the rhythm method as their preferred form of birth control?


Yo mamma so fat, her preferred pronoun is


Banned from the grocery store

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hammer’s preferred foreplay…


My uncle's joke he just came up with: What are chocolate's preferred pronouns?

Her, She

A woman who worked at a glory hole was asked if she preferred some members over others. Her response?

All in all it's just another prick in the wall.

What's the Preferred Luxury Automobile of Sushi Chefs around the world?

Rolls Rice

A homeless man approached me as I was leaving a sandwich shop…

… and he asked me if I had $5 to spare. I felt bad for him, and was just about to give him the money.

But then I realized I was holding a $5 foot long I had just bought, so I held up both the cash and the sandwich and told him he could have whichever one he preferred.

He stared at th...

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.

Almost all of them replied, “How the hell did you get in here?”

What is the sub-genre of metal preferred by most tuna fish?


Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?

He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

Why is baseball telecaster Karen's preferred job?

She gets to speak with the manager after each game

Why is apple juice the preferred drink for women?

Because OJ will kill you

My wife asked what panties i wanted her to wear on our date, i said i preferred


I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.

Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.

What is a dyslexic person's preferred alternative energy source?

It's unclear

I asked my friend what kind of car audio system he preferred and he said it didn't matter because they were all the same...

...apparently he has a problem with stereotypes.

My preferred pronoun is "letter"

I was born female, but I identify as mail

What’s a judge preferred breakfast?


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