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Prefer Jokes

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Cause light attracts bugs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was asked whether I prefer breasts or thighs.

I said "Well, both are nice, but I really like is a nice wet pussy". Apparently that was the wrong reply, as I'm now banned from KFC.

I've noticed lately that women prefer men at least 6'

away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked a friend why she prefers Russian porn

She said because Russian porn gets me Soviet

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.



Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.

My friend handed me a peach. I told him I prefer pears.

So he handed me another one.

Rednecks prefer their beer like they prefer their violence

Domestic.

Why do astronauts prefer to sleep alone?

They need their space!

Why do some women prefer doggy style

They hate to see a man have a good time

Why do girls prefer waffles over pancakes?

They've got pockets!

What pronouns do Amber Heard’s lawyers prefer?

Hear/say

Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?

They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

9/10 men prefer large boobs.

The other man prefers the 9 men.

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.

Almost all of them replied, “How the hell did you get in here?”

I prefer to watch movies in the cinema

Without movies it's just a boring room full of people I don't know.

How do flight attendants prefer their bagels?

Plane

Why do blondes prefer to buy cars with sun roof?

Because there's more leg room.

What are the preferred pronouns for a Witch

He He He

Why do females prefer guitarists?

Because of their fingering technique

My twin brother prefers to take the stairs, but I like the elevator.

I guess we are raised differently.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other day a girl asked me if I like breasts or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed pussy with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

My uncle's joke he just came up with: What are chocolate's preferred pronouns?

Her, She

Why does Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?

You only get one shot…

Which type of loan does an introvert prefer?

A leave me alone.

My preferred reddit username is like my preferred partner.

Both are already taken.

What flavor gum does the President prefer?

Governmint

Ill walk myself to the nearest border

Why do men prefer guns over woman?

You can put a silencer on a gun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said she preferred sex on holiday

...it wasn't the best postcard I have ever received

Which hotel chain does Link prefer?

HYAAAATT!!!

What type of fuel do painters prefer?

Whatever makes the van gogh..


-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as stupid as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.

How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Aye to Aye!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people prefer to cum in a jar

I prefer to jack in a box

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?

He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones?

Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.

My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

I prefer my jokes to be told by fruits

Because all the jokes i heard from vegetables were just too corny

I gave my friend an apple, but she said she prefers pears

So I gave her another apple.

My wife asked what panties i wanted her to wear on our date, i said i preferred

[Removed]

What is the preferred footwear of pedos?

White Vans

Why does Jesus prefer coffee??

Because he got nailed to a tea.

My wife asked which of her friends would I prefer for a threesome.

Apparently I was supposed to stop at one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you prefer? Breasts or Thighs?

I replied : "Personality".

Wonder why the butcher glared at me.

You know how in restaurants they often ask you if you prefer bottled water or tap water?

In Flint, the waiter asks you, "Regular or Unleaded?"

What motorcycles do ghosts prefer?

A boocati.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend guilt-tripped me into spending the Saturday helping out with various tasks on his property, even though I'd prefer to relax after a demanding week.

While chopping wood, I got careless with the axe and dented his car.

My friend suspected that since I was clearly annoyed with him, I'd dented the car on purpose.

But in my opinion, it should be obvious to everyone that it was an axy-dent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hammer’s preferred foreplay…

Fingerbangin’

Why do cannibals prefer to eat pregnant women?

Because of the kinder surprise and the extra portion milk.

Why do astronauts prefer the Linux operating system.

Because you can't open Window's in space.

The woman asks her husband: "Do you prefer a beautiful woman or an intelligent woman?"

The husband replies: "None of them, you know I only like you!".





The Kinsey Institute once conducted a study on men's preferences for women's physical attributes.

5% of men reported liking long legs. 5% of liked short legs. And the other 90% liked something in between.

Why doesn't America parade its new military hardware and tanks down main street like other countries?

Because they prefer to parade it down main street IN other countries.

Why does Voldemort prefer Instagram over Facebook?

'Cause he has only followers and no friends.

I prefer escalators but my wife prefers elevators...

I think it’s because we were raised differently

Our Pharmaceutical company's records show that people prefer Pill A and Pill B...

But I think Pill O is being slept on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of porn does agent 007 prefer?

Bondage, James Bondage

Yo mamma so fat, her preferred pronoun is

There

I prefer my alcohol like I prefer children

Aged in a barrel and chilled on the rocks in my cellar

I prefer to read poetry in braille for some reason.

I just really feel the words a lot more.

My date asked if I prefer cats or dogs.

I replied, "I don't even see them on the menu. What page are you on?"

Why did Pinocchio prefer wooden girls over the real thing?

Because the wooden girls are knotty!

Everyone is a fan of the 69 position but I prefer the 68.

That's when you blow me and I owe you one.

‪If I were to be stranded on an island with anyone I would prefer to be stranded with a vegan...

Mostly because it's healthier to eat grass-fed meat. ‬

I started a 100 subject survey on which shampoo women prefer to use...

Only got to the 3rd shower before i was arrested.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are neo-Nazis the highest per-capita consumers of men's sex toys?

Because they prefer their flesh light.

What resolution do white supremacists prefer?

3K.

Which shampoo do prefer cannibals?

Head and shoulders

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was asked if I prefer breasts or thighs. I told 'em I always go for the personality.

The butcher was confused.

Which shoes do frogs prefer?

Open toad sandals!

What key does R Kelly prefer to sing?

B minor.

Why do Italians prefer manual cars?

Because their hands need something to do.

Why is baseball telecaster Karen's preferred job?

She gets to speak with the manager after each game

I would prefer to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandma,

not screaming in terror like her passengers.

What kind of bread do zombies prefer?

Whole brain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Russians prefer to eat potatoes shaped like penises?

Because Russia loves dick-taters.

At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it

He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade

Why is apple juice the preferred drink for women?

Because OJ will kill you

What kind of restaurants do military snipers prefer?

Take out.

Why do dogs prefer manual cars?

They like driving a stick

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I prefer masturbating only when I'm completely naked

Don't like that? Go to a different Starbucks!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?

He hates it when it's high ground.

How does Lady Gaga prefer you cook her steak?

Raw
Raw
Raw-raw
Raw


I will see myself out

What type of toilets do pirates prefer?

Port-a-potties.

I'll sea myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do horny Vegans prefer phone sex?

It's the meet-free option.

You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male

They have a higher rate of penetration...

Why doesn't Michael Jackson drink coffee?

Because he prefers "Tea-hee!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do sharks prefer saltwater?

Because pepperwater makes them sneeze.

i prefer decimals over fractions

fractions are just pointless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day after sex, my girl told me she used to be a Christian.

Me: "It doesn't worry me at all, babe."

Her: "Awesome! I really so much prefer being a Christine."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does M&Ms prefer blowjobs over handjobs?

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand

What brand of clothing do pirates prefer?

Fruit of Doubloon.

Why do communists prefer to use only lowercase letter?

Well, because they hate capitalism.

Why do they ask if you'd prefer paper or plastic?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't like the term 'Anal Bleaching'.

I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.

What's the Preferred Luxury Automobile of Sushi Chefs around the world?

Rolls Rice

Why do kinky people who are into objectification prefer free products over paid ones?

If you are not paying for the product, you *are* the product.

Why did the skydiver prefer indoor skydiving?

He loved the rush of indoor fans.

What vacuum cleaner brand do Antivaxxers prefer?

Dyson.

Do vegetarians prefer moons or asteroids?

Moons, because asteroids are are a little meteor.

(Made up for my kids today)
#dadjoke #sorry

My preferred pronoun is "letter"

I was born female, but I identify as mail

What did dinosaurs prefer to use to pay for their purchases?

Obviously tyrannosaurus cheques.

Do you prefer your bagels toasted?

(Raises drink)........TO BAGELS!!!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are my political preferences and my dick similar?

They both lean a little to the left.

Yeah, the NRA sounds great, but personally, I prefer Deer Lovers Anonymous.

You get more bang for your buck.

I prefer women the same way I like my coffee...

Just a little bit hot and from the gas station.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a Channel 8 poll, men were asked what do they prefer, football or sex ?

Most of them responded , sex , but in halftime.

What do you call couples that use the rhythm method as their preferred form of birth control?

Parents

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