UPJOKE
fridgerefrigeratorpizzacheesebologneseyogurtfreezerketchupgoudacheesysaladsteakjuicepestobrie

Oj Jokes

What is OJ Simpson's computer password?

Slash Slash back-Slash escape.

Robert Khardasian was OJ Simpson's lawyer

And thus began the family tradition of getting black men off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During OJ Simpson's First Trial, He and his lawyer are in the bathroom...

they are both standing at the urinals and the lawyer can't help but notice that OJ has Nicole tattooed onto his dick, he leans over and says "Between you and me, I know you killed your wife, so why did you have her name tattooed onto your dick?"

OJ answers "Just because she is dead, doesn't m...

Did you hear that OJ Simpson finally confessed?

Yep. They squeezed it out of him.

Did you hear that OJ Simpson wants to try marriage again?

He says he wants to take another stab at it.

What do OJ Simpson and the Pittsburgh Steelers have in common?

They beat up on the Browns.

If Robert Kardashian hadn't gotten OJ off,

eventually one of his daughters would have.

Word on the street OJ Simpson is getting married again..

Sounds like he wanted to take another stab at it.

Oj Simpson is ready to remarry...

He knows the last marriage didn't end so well... but he's ready to take another stab at it.

OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children.

In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote "Hey, they’re still alive, aren’t they?"

- An ol' chunk of coal

OJ Simpson was being interviewed the other day. The reporter asked if he'd considered getting married again.

OJ said he had thought about taking another stab at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OJ shouldn't have been pardoned.

Remember, he's the bastard that made the Kardashians famous.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

Everyone has the same DNA.

Well, OJ has been paroled.

The spokesperson for the parole board that granted him his new freedom said they "decided to give him another stab at it."

I was heartbroken the day OJ Simpson was acquitted…

I’d already picked out which TV I wanted…

OJ Simpson, Scott Peterson, and Oscar Pistorius walk into a bar...

...all three order a Bloody Mary.

What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and Christopher Reeve?

OJ got to walk, Christopher got the chair

Remember when OJ Simpson was found innocent and all of us white people hit the street looting and damaging property?!

Oh, that's right, we didn't...

What's OJ Simpson's favorite drink?

A Bloody Mary.

What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Caddyshack?

One had a Bronco pursuit and the other had Chevy Chase.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Prune Juice and OJ?

Prune Juice will give you the shits..... OJ will kill you and your boyfriend.

How well did OJ do at his hearing today?

He murdered it!

I invited OJ Simpson to my Thanksgiving dinner.

He's good at carving white meat.

New England Patriots to bring OJ Simpson on staff...

In an interview, Simpson stated he got the job after responding to a Craigslist ad. He added, "They were looking for a defensive coordinator, and I just though to myself... nobody has more success at building a strong defense than I do."

What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Mufasa?

One's an African lion, the other is a lyin' African.

OJ's son must have been the murderer....

... because when he went to OJ that night to borrow his car keys, OJ said, "..go aXe your mother"

What are OJ Simpson's favorite keys on a computer?

Return

Home

Slash

Slash

Backslash

Shift

Shift

Shift

Escape

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OJ: I always wanted to be castrated...

But I don't think I have the balls to go through with it




*I think this is an original joke, as I just thought of it*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Anticlimactic Lager (oj)

(*I just made up this joke, it takes a bit of patience but let me know if it's worth it. Either way, keep smiling!*)

Michael was a rich, eccentric and naive beer enthusiast. He journeyed around the world in search of rare lagers.

Once, on a trip to India, he came across a small bar. Be...

How do you make a Bloody Nicole?

Like a Bloody Mary, but with a stab of OJ...

OJ got out of jail recently and it sickens me. But I can't even imagine how he feels...

The man that killed his wife is running free

Why was OJ Simpson turned down for the role of Thanos?

The glove didn’t fit.

OJ's son did it!

OJ'S son: Daddy Daddy the ice cream man is here! Can I have some money?

OJ: Go axe yo mama

In an interview Barbara Walters asks OJ Simpson if he thinks he will ever be married again...

He says, "I don't know... One of these days, I might take another stab at it."

Malicious compliance that isn't.

The following is a true story.

When I was young, I wanted a glass of orange juice. I was used to the stuff with the pulp in it. Going to the kitchen where my mother was already located, I got a glass, pulled out the carton of OJ, screwed off the top, lifted the carton, filled my glass, put th...

North Korea wants to find out who hacked Sony. Might I suggest they hire the dream team of investigators OJ did to investigate his wife's murder.

http://www.businessinsider.com/r-north-korea-proposes-joint-probe-with-the-us-into-sony-cyber-attack-kcna-2014-12

Why did the bartender only charge his customer for the vodka in his screwdriver?

Because as of yesterday, OJ is free.

Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Wants to Get to the Truth of the Khashoggi Murder

He's hired OJ to track down the real killers.

Do you know what the Kardashian's family motto is?

Been getting black men off since the OJ Simpson trial.

TEBOW FEVER!!

I haven't seen this many people following a white bronco since OJ!!!!! Ba-ha-ha!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two men sitting on a plane next to each and they both have black eyes...

They begin talking and of course the black eyes come up. First man says " It's a funny story... I was going to buy my ticket and when i stepped up to the window, I saw the most beautiful blonde with the biggest rack I had ever seen. I got flustered and mixed my words up. I meant to say, I need one t...

What would be the worst meal for a football wife?

OJ and Rice

A boy was driving home to Minnesota from his first semester of college...

...in California for winter break. He had the car packed and he left after his last final. He wanted to make good time so he drove all night, but as the sun came up his stomach started to rumble...it was time for breakfast!

He pulled into a mom and pop diner and it looked exactly like you'd e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's the Mailman's last day of work.

He goes to the last house on his route and a beautiful blonde woman answers the door in a red silk robe. She greets him with a big smile and asks if he would like to come in for breakfast. The mailman blushes and says ok why not. The woman has a whole spread waiting at the table. Eggs and bacon, pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Mr. Simon's last mail delivery after 40 years of dedicated service.

And as he arrives at the last house on his route, the number of gifts and tokens of appreciation in his overbrimming mail cart is pretty damned impressive.

And it's not without a tear in his eye that he flips the front door's brass mail slot to push the last delivery of his professional life ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish man walks onto a plane.

His seat on his ticket is in the middle of a Christian and a Muslim man. Looking towards history, these groups of religions haven't tolerated each other, but the Jewish man does not believe in discrimination! He sits next to them, and decides to make conversation. He turns to the Christian man and a...

Oscar

• Roses are red,

Violets are glorious,

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorius


• She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

• Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.

• When Oscar Pistorius sai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once an old postman...

...whose name was Stan. Stan had had a robust career delivering mail in a small town for over 45 years, and decided to retire. On his final day of work, the families on his route all decided to give him presents to show their appreciation. At the first house, the McKinsleys gave him a very nice set ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.