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Resturant Jokes

Neo walks in to a resturant...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS 'NO SPOON'?!

A panda bear walks into a resturant..

And orders some food, after his meal the server comes out and asks how everything was and the panda bear pulls a gun a shoots him. The manager comes out and says "hey man what's going on?" The panda bear replies "I'm a panda bear Google it.." and leaves. The manager curiously Googled panda bear and ...

I want to open a resturant called "I don't care"

So I could finally go to that place my girlfriend is always talking about.

I'm gonna open a Jamaican poke fusion resturant

Called Poke Mon

Have you heard about this new resturant called Karma

There´s no menu, you get what you deserve

A swedish family goes into a resturant and orders food.

When they are done with their food, the waiter comes over and asks:

"Are you guys finnish?"

The dad smiles and says:

"No, no we're from sweden"

Why are religious resturants so expensive?

they have bi-bills

A man goes into a fastfood resturant

He orders a cheeseburger and asks the server if it will be long



The cashier looks confused for a second and replies no. It will be round like all the others

My friend built a resturant out of an old plane.

It's pretty good but I don't think it's gonna take off.

I man and his wife own a chinese resturant together

On their anniversary the man says to his wife "We can do whatever you want tonight since its our anniversary" she said "how about we do a little 69 tonight" the man looked confused and said "you want the beef and broccoli?"

What's your mom's favorite seafood resturant?

Captain D's Nutz

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a Mexican resturant after winning big in Vegas.

He decides he is going to order the most expensive item on the menu. When the plate is brought to him he asks what it is. The waiter responds with "Its the bull balls from the bullfight thats held every week. Whenever the bull loses we chop his balls off and serve them as a delicacy." The man is ske...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and an ostrich walk into a resturant.

The waitress asks "what will you have?"
He says "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke". The ostrich says "I'll have the same" it comes up to be $10.98 and he pulls exact change out of his pocket.
The next day he and the ostrich come back. The waitress asks "what will you have"?
He says...

How did they know the panda was the one who robbed the resturant at gun point?

Panda’s eat shoots and leaves

Have you heard of the new resturant on the moon?

Great food...but no atmosphere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to Save a Life

Joe and Billy-Bob, two of the most country boys that ever did live, were sitting down in a resturant visiting the big city. The meal was going well until they saw a woman across the resturant stand up gasping and holding her throat.

"Help she's choking!" someone shouted, and panic ensued. Peo...

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died.

Resturant In Peace.

Once there was a boy who really liked tractors...

Tractors were his biggest hobby. He had lots of toy tractors and on weekends he would go and watch the farmers drive their tractors around in the fields.
As he grew older, he still liked tractors, but not as much because he started to find other interests.
When he turned 20 he met a beautifu...

My 8 year old brother's best joke.

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR.

I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

Going to open a new restaurant ...

I am getting ready to open an Asian/Mexican fusion resturant...

I am calling it Juan-Ton

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A waiter has a spoon tied to his pocket.

At a resturant a waiter has a spoon tied to his right pocket with a small rope.

One of the costumers asked him what is the purpose of this spoon?

The waiter said that he uses the spoon to align eating utensils, that way he doesnt touch them with his hands.

The costumer then a...

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Three not-so-wise men

Three men are preparing to go on a sightseeing plane ride. They were just about to leave, but then they decided that they wanted some snacks for their plane ride, so they head to a local grocery store before going to the airport. While there, the first man buys an apple. The second man buys a pear. ...

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