UPJOKE
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A bodybuilder asked his doctor: "what's better, whey protein, or pea protein?"

"Weigh protein, of course!" replied the doctor. "For one thing, weighing protein isn't a potential sign of kidney failure."

Anyone know what a whey is??

Apparently my dad just passed one.

My friend tried to convince me "whey" is spelled "whfey"

There's no f in whey

I was at the grocery store deciding if I should buy a $40 jug of whey protein

So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw"

These days whey manufacturers are against selling to adults.

Their products are pro teen.

Bodybuilders agree on most methods of building muscle...

but they can never agree on which is the best whey.

What did the bodybuilder say when he saw the store had sold out of protein powder?

No whey!

Go the Right Speed Limit!

One night a state cop saw a car going only 22 miles per hour. He pulled the car over.

When he approached the driver's side, he noticed five old ladies were seated in the car and all them looked to be in shock. They were all very pale.

The old lady driver greeted him, "Officer, Whey di...

I just shot my protein all over my desk, pants, floor and my sheets nearby even though my hand was covering the tip.

Note to self, don't mix whey protein with sparkling water, it will explode.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A women wanted to spice things up in the bedroom so she went to a professional sex therapist. The Therapist went through an exhaustive list and importantly how to look sexy, which is to gently bite your lips and raise your eyebrows suggestively.

the next morning the women was in tears... she called the therapist and explained that not only did it not worked but it had completely ruin the mood. The therapist then proceeded to ask here her intimate details ( did you wear the lingerie, perfume, etc ) and could not figure out whey it didn't w...

What the the dairy farmer say to the Mandalorian?

This is the whey.

Doctor: you’re allergic to milk

Me: No whey?

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?

No whey Jose.

I was going to buy a load of whey protein powder today.

It's always better to buy it in bulk.

The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...

..."This is the whey"



(Sorry)

I went to a cheese making factory

They talked about a special kind of milk that they used that produced only curds.

I was like "no whey!!"

My uncle recently overdosed on protein powder

What a whey to go

The lesser-known fourth Wise Man brought baby Jesus the gift of protein powder.

It was a whey in a manger.

There's a rumor an evil spirit is haunting houses nearby

They say that if it enters your house, your spelling starts to worsen. But that is only suprestition, ther is no whey deth e gost Ken du sash è t1ng, rait?

Did you know Mandalorians love blue-milk cottage cheese?

This is the whey.

Two dead bodybuilders meet each other in hell

Dude 1: Hey there man, you know where I can get a protein shake around here?


Dude 2: There’s no whey in hell

What's the difference between Little Miss Muffet and President Erdogan?

Nothing. Little Miss Muffet also had curds in her whey.

What does the Mandalorian say after he starts a new diet to gain more muscle?

This is the whey.

I had a falling out with my friend over a protein powder

We decided to go our separate wheys

How did the Mexican cheese factory report an equipment malfunction?

No whey, Hose A.

What do call a Hispanic fella that ran out of protein powder?

No-whey Jose.

What did the Mandalorian say when his milk curdled and he strained out the curds?

This is the whey.

I feel like there is good pun potential...

in the intersection of weigh, way, and whey, but I can't quite get it to come out smoothie.

My younger brother took his life 3 years ago. Always a comedian, here’s his cheesiest joke

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y...

My friend says that heavy cream is pure fat.

My friend says that heavy cream is pure fat; to which I replied no, it’s whey more.

People ask whether I’ll make cheese in my afterlife. I tell them,

“There’s no whey in hell.”

How does a Mandalorian win a bodybuilding competition?

This is the whey

A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?"

The man responds, "No whey Jose."

What did the vegetarian body builder say after he found out he was gluten intolerant?

There ain't no whey!

What did the man say when he got lost in a cheese factory?

"Excuse me sir, can you show me the whey?"

How do bodybuilders combat coronavirus?

Whey Isolate

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet

Eating her curds and whey.

She stuck in her thumb and pulled out a plum

And said, "I'm in the wrong nursery rhyme!"


Okay, I'll try another one...


Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Eating his Christmas pie.

Along came a spider who sat down beside him...

There's nothing worse than a bunch of demanding bodybuilders

They always have to get their whey

Ain’t nobody going to stop me from getting cheese byproduct.

I always get my whey.

Baby Yoda’s friend will show you to his cheese making hut...

This is the whey.

"It baffles me, that bacteria can thrive, even when being turned into cheese. It seems like a such a hostile environment! Then again...

"Life finds a whey."

My new girlfriend told me she doesn’t eat dairy products.

I said “No whey!”

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

[Long] A body builder was showing off in the mirror at his gym.

Able to lift twice the weight of anyone else around, he routinely boasted about how he was the greatest and everyone else was beneath him while drinking his huge container of protein shake.

One day, after seeing a new extremely attractive woman at the gym, he decided to show off some more by...

Been lifting weights without much results. Saw a super ripped trainer at the gym and asked him how he got so jacked . . .

He paused and then said 'Let me show you the whey'.

Why will a car made out of cheese never be street legal?

Because it always has the right of whey.

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

What happened to the body builder who lost their protein powder?

They lost their whey

Weightlifting forums are the worst when it comes to getting information and advice on protein.

There's always some meathead a-hole that has to whey in.

Gym bro #1: "Bro, we're out of protein powder."

Gym bro #2: "No whey..."

Two bros were chatting it up at the gym between sets.

1: hey bro, you won’t believe it.
2: what, bro?
1: someone stole all my protein powder
2: no whey!

My dad is a dairy farmer and his dad jokes are terrible

They whey me down as I curd barely take them

what do you call it when you use milk to make protein drinks?

Milky-Whey.

What do you call a Mexican body builder who doesn’t take diet supplements?

No Whey Jose!

Someone asked me if I wanted a protein bar.

I said no Whey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gluten free cereal.

I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it "NO FUCKING WHEY!"

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

I learned the Mandalorian stays ripped by drinking his own brand of protein powder.

This Is The Whey

"Hey bro, so I just got diagnosed with a dairy allergy."

"No whey, man."

What’s the difference between milk and cheese?

Cheese lost it’s whey in life

Protein shakes are really expensive....

Whey expensive.

I was complaining about my lack of muscle growth to a buddy of mine in the gym...

Me: I come here everyday, 3 hours each day and I look the same as I did 6 months ago.

Buddy: No whey!

A man smokes some weed and goes to buy some protein powder

He gets to the store but realizes that protein powder is super expensive. He decides to steal it, as it was a high whey robbery

Did you know that you can’t make cheese without Jesus?

Because He is the whey

I thought i could win the cheese curd eating contest.

But there was no whey.

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

A guy walks into a coffee shop

He orders a coffee. The barista asks him if he'd like milk or cream. He responds "I'm allergic to the protein in milk." The barista replies "No whey?"

I asked a cheesemaker to show me his secret ingredient

He said," No Whey!"

The Mexican instructor at the gym knew a lot about protein supplements.

So one day, I approached him and said,

"Jesus, show me the whey."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thanksgiving Boobs sale

Just came back from another universe. People there celebrate thanksgiving with oven-roasted human-female Boobs. I went to boobs market to shop boobs, and I was so surprised with the variety of boobs on sale. Black boobs were priced 100 per lb, white boobs were 200 per lb but Chinese boobs were 1500 ...

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

Why did the Turkish army stay out of Syria?

There were curds in their whey.

I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk.

I'm in whey over my head.

What's a bodybuilder's favorite movie?

Fifty Shakes of Whey.

My lifting buddy was shocked when I told him that we were out of protein powder.

He said "No whey!"

I'll be here all night.

How do we know that Greek yogurt's Greek?

Because it's whey strained.

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

I want an after workout snack but forgot to get more protein powder.

Oy whey

I just started working out and taking supplements

Am feeling whey better now

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