Cheddar Jokes - 53 Hilarious Cheddar Jokes

You won't find a cheddar joke.

I don't give 'edam about your joke, ita no guda.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese

Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody’s looking for Stilton.

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

My coworker keeps complaining about his lunch being stolen from the break room fridge.

Monday morning he brought in a turkey and provolone on wheat bread. Put it in the fridge. By lunch time it was gone.

Tuesday he brought in ham and cheddar on white bread. Put it in the fridge, again gone by lunch.

Today he brought a chicken ceaser wrap. Gone by noon.

I hope he...

I accidentally got anti aging cream on my block of cheddar

I’ve now got milk all over the kitchen top

A kid threw a chunk of cheddar at me today

I didn't think that was very mature.

Fortunately, it wasn't sharp.

The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin. A few days after the election, the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father and says, “So, dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”

“I don't think so, Susie. It's an 18-hour drive.”

“Don't worry about it, dad! I will send Air Force One, and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”

“I don't know, Susie. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I'll make sure she ha...

I've got an addiction to cheddar cheese.

Its only mild though.

I’m looking for jokes that you have to work out. My favourite is the one in the below, which was posted here by another user. Does anyone else have any similar ones that you have to think about before finding the funny?

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

What did the Mexican say to the great cheddar bandit?

That's nacho cheese.

Is it possible to kill someone with a piece of Cheddar cheese?

Yes, but only if it's extra sharp.

What's the difference between aged cheddar and regular cheddar?

The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.

Why doesn't anyone trust the cheddar cheese?

Because it's no gouda.

Why is cheddar popcorn such a terrible joke?

It's both corny and cheesy.

What do you called a cheddar flavored wafer in church?

A Jeez-It

I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

How do you get sharp cheddar cheese from cows?

You gotta make sure they're glass fed.

If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener

Will it come out sharp or shredded?

Why was the shredded cheddar mad when the teacher gave him an F on the test?

He felt he had been unfairly grated.

I met Jeffrey Epstein once. It was only a brief interaction, but I can recall that I offered him some cheddar cheese and he didn't like it.

I think it was too mature for him.

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Cheesiest Joke I Know

What did the cracker say to the slice of cheddar?

"Say, you're looking mighty sharp today!"

To which the cheddar replied,

"Fuck you, white boy."

I'll have a foot long Italian with turkey and cheddar cheese.

Whoops, wrong sub

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.

"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "

The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"

The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning. ...

What do you call an Ethiopian child with a piece of cheddar?

A quarter-pounder with cheese

[OC] What do you call it when mozzarella, cheddar, and parmesan rent a little beach house together?

Cottage cheese

I cut my mouth on cheese.

My wife must've bought the extra sharp cheddar.

I made a frozen pizza this morning. I took off the shrink wrap on the pizza and noticed it had some small holes in it where the frozen cheese had stabbed through.

That was some sharp cheddar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How much lube should you buy to prepare to have sex with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar fetish?

About a quart to pound her with cheese.

I was eating a cheese sandwich yesterday and cut my mouth.

That's what I get for eating sharp cheddar.

\-An old joke from my grandmother

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know this very wealthy cracker ass cracker. His pockets are just loaded with cheddar. His ignant ass always yelling...

I’M RITZ, BITS!

Why are Mexican train conductors so hard to convict?

Because they always have loco motives.

Cheddar, Gouda, Parmesan, Swiss, just making sure this will be the cheesiest post ever!

A photographer was killed in a freak accident today.

When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.

Witnesses said people did try to warn him.

A reporter hears about a new cafe that is a smash hit

He heads on down to see a long line of women outside, all waiting to get inside. Making his way inside, he is shocked to see Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top Fame standing behind the counter, serving tea. He walks up and asks "Hey, aren't you Billy Gibbons?"\\

"Sure am."

"Are the other guys her...

Heard that the government is putting chips in people

I call dibs on Cheddar and Sour Cream

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do scrap salvagers like cheese so much?

Because they sort through de-brie to earn some cheddar.

My younger brother took his life 3 years ago. Always a comedian, here’s his cheesiest joke

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y...

A bunch a cheeses got together to start a religion a long time ago.

They worship cheesus christ our grate lord and savior. The religion could be cheddar, but it's aged well. A few holes in their thinking, and I personally wouldn't swiss over anytime soon. Gouda them though for uniting themselves, but holy cow does their religion stink.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 drunk mice

3 mice are up late at night, drinking and bullshitting, as mice often do. Just eating cheese bits and chasing them down with copious amounts of alcohol.

They begin to brag about how tough they are relating various experiences evading the cat, the exterminator and other adventures, each one...

A friend from Mexico recently moved up to Wisconsin with me

Naturally, one of the first places we went was a cheese shop. He was being all tentative, only considering purchasing a small block of cheddar. He’s never going to fit like that.

I said to him, “Jesus, take the wheel.”

Church

I'm going to start a religious sect for people who love both bible study and varietals of cheddar.

It shall be called The Church of Cheesus Christ.

I've been trying to make a joke about swiss cheese...

But the joke has too many holes.

I know that was a cheesy joke. Most people aren't really that fondu of them. It's rare for them to be gouda jokes. You may think of me as a muenster for these jokes, and that I could do cheddar than this. I mean no parm in these puns. Alright, I'm done...

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Kinky old coupld (NSFW)

Grandpa and Grandma have been married for about 40 years.
Their sexual life is not what it used to be and Grandma wants to fix the situation.
While reading a magazine she comes across an advertising for flavored condoms.
She goes to her local pharmacy and buys a whole bunch of different fla...

This is a joke my very Catholic grandma used to tell me: A little boy was walking past the church when he dropped his snack of crackers and cheddar in a puddle...

Angry at his misfortune, he loudly cursed, "Jesus Christ, God Almighty!!" The priest overheard and exclaimed, "What did you say, young man? You know it's a great sin to take the Lord's name in vain!" The little boy looked around frantically and responded, "Umm, I said my cheese and crackers got all ...

Did you guys hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

Da brie was everywhere!

It’s going to cost them a lot of cheddar!

Luckily they have a Swiss account saved up.

It surely won’t be gouda.

It even destroyed their onsite cottage!

Two knights stood to face each other

They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel

The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill

The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese

The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with ...

When John Lennon was a boy,

his best friend was a chubby lad named Winston - but because of Winston’s penchant for stuffing his face with Stilton, Red Leicester, Cheddar or Brie, naturally he was nicknamed “Cheese”.
One hot summer day, a gang of friends decided to head off to the local quarry to cool off in the water. The...

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A fly on the river (bit lengthy, bit racy)

First post here. This is the only joke I know...bear with me as its a bit lengthy.

There was a fly buzzing along a river near the shore, exactly 3 inches above the water. It was preparing to descend onto the surface of the river when a fish happened to notice it. The fish thinks to itself, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a drunk guy in line at the grocery store...

The woman in front of him has a block of cheddar cheese, a half gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs.

He stumbles up to her and says, "Why, you must be single!"

Rather surprised, she looks at him and replies, "Yes, I am single! You could tell that just from what I'm buying?"

Withou...

One night my family was having dinner

We were having something Mexican but we had a box of white cheddar cheese itz, we always have some sort of chips or crackers.

My brother had a plate of just rice and he was putting the cheese itz on the rice. I was super confused until he said

“Hey Zack, have you heard in our lord and ...

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cheesy Jokes

What sort of cheese would you use to entice a bear from a cave?

Camembert

What sort of cheese can hide a small horse?

Mascarpone

Why did the cheese get beat up by the stone?

Because the Roquefort back

Why did the one legge...

A potato walks into a bar smoking a joint...

He puts out the joint and sits at the bar and orders a side of bacon. When it arrives he dumps it on his head.

Then he orders a side of green onions. When it arrives he dumps it on his head.

Then he orders a side of cheddar. When it arrives he dumps it on his head.

Last he order...

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