I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

You won't find a cheddar joke.

I don't give 'edam about your joke, ita no guda.

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese

But it's only mild

There are two plates of cheese on the table, one of which belongs to you and one of which belongs to your friend. He offers you the cheddar. Should you take it?

Yes, because the other plate is nacho cheese!

I met Jeffrey Epstein once. It was only a brief interaction, but I can recall that I offered him some cheddar cheese and he didn't like it.

I think it was too mature for him.

A photographer was killed in a freak accident today.

When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.

Witnesses said people did try to warn him.

Heard that the government is putting chips in people

I call dibs on Cheddar and Sour Cream

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do scrap salvagers like cheese so much?

Because they sort through de-brie to earn some cheddar.

I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.

Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."

Why was the shredded cheddar mad when the teacher gave him an F on the test?

He felt he had been unfairly grated.

What do you call an Ethiopian child with a piece of cheddar?

A quarter-pounder with cheese

[OC] What do you call it when mozzarella, cheddar, and parmesan rent a little beach house together?

Cottage cheese

A kid threw a chunk of cheddar at me today

I didn't think that was very mature.

Fortunately, it wasn't sharp.

Why doesn't anyone trust the cheddar cheese?

Because it's no gouda.

What do you call a really smart block of cheddar?

Cheese whiz

If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener

Will it come out sharp or shredded?

Why is cheddar popcorn such a terrible joke?

It's both corny and cheesy.

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I know this very wealthy cracker ass cracker. His pockets are just loaded with cheddar. His ignant ass always yelling...

I’M RITZ, BITS!

What did the Mexican say to the great cheddar bandit?

That's nacho cheese.

I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss...

Whoops, wrong sub

What's the difference between aged cheddar and regular cheddar?

The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.

My younger brother took his life 3 years ago. Always a comedian, here’s his cheesiest joke

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y...

How do you get sharp cheddar cheese from cows?

You gotta make sure they're glass fed.

This is a joke my very Catholic grandma used to tell me: A little boy was walking past the church when he dropped his snack of crackers and cheddar in a puddle...

Angry at his misfortune, he loudly cursed, "Jesus Christ, God Almighty!!" The priest overheard and exclaimed, "What did you say, young man? You know it's a great sin to take the Lord's name in vain!" The little boy looked around frantically and responded, "Umm, I said my cheese and crackers got all ...

Two knights stood to face each other

They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel

The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill

The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese

The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with ...

I was eating a cheese sandwich yesterday and cut my mouth.

That's what I get for eating sharp cheddar.


\-An old joke from my grandmother

I made a frozen pizza this morning. I took off the shrink wrap on the pizza and noticed it had some small holes in it where the frozen cheese had stabbed through.

That was some sharp cheddar.

Someone threw cheese at me. I bled a lot.

Damn, that's one sharp cheddar!

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker...

A young, poor boy approaches a cheesemaker.

"Sir, I am very hungry. I am willing to clean your entire cheese shop for a pound of cheddar. "

The cheesemaker thinks for a moment, decides, and nods. "Forthwith!"

The little boy grabs a broom and vigilantly begins cleaning. ...

I've been trying to make a joke about swiss cheese...

But the joke has too many holes.



I know that was a cheesy joke. Most people aren't really that fondu of them. It's rare for them to be gouda jokes. You may think of me as a muenster for these jokes, and that I could do cheddar than this. I mean no parm in these puns. Alright, I'm done...

One night my family was having dinner

We were having something Mexican but we had a box of white cheddar cheese itz, we always have some sort of chips or crackers.

My brother had a plate of just rice and he was putting the cheese itz on the rice. I was super confused until he said

“Hey Zack, have you heard in our lord and ...

Did you guys hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

Da brie was everywhere!

It’s going to cost them a lot of cheddar!

Luckily they have a Swiss account saved up.

It surely won’t be gouda.

It even destroyed their onsite cottage!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fly on the river (bit lengthy, bit racy)

First post here. This is the only joke I know...bear with me as its a bit lengthy.

There was a fly buzzing along a river near the shore, exactly 3 inches above the water. It was preparing to descend onto the surface of the river when a fish happened to notice it. The fish thinks to itself, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kinky old coupld (NSFW)

Grandpa and Grandma have been married for about 40 years.
Their sexual life is not what it used to be and Grandma wants to fix the situation.
While reading a magazine she comes across an advertising for flavored condoms.
She goes to her local pharmacy and buys a whole bunch of different fla...

So, there I was buying cheese in a deli.

Me: what would you recommend?

Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.

Me: sounds good .

Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.

Me: awesome, noted.

Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey ...

A friend from Mexico recently moved up to Wisconsin with me

Naturally, one of the first places we went was a cheese shop. He was being all tentative, only considering purchasing a small block of cheddar. He’s never going to fit like that.


I said to him, “Jesus, take the wheel.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Cheesiest Joke I Know

What did the cracker say to the slice of cheddar?

"Say, you're looking mighty sharp today!"

To which the cheddar replied,

"Fuck you, white boy."

An old man is lying on his deathbed.

Slipping peacefully away, he is half-aware of one sense after another fading, his sight growing dim, a blessed silence falling... and then something half-forgotten teases at his nose and he twitches as it registers. It's a delicious savoury scent wafting up the stairs - his wife's wonderful cheese s...

What is a bodybuilder's favorite type of cheese?

CheddarJACKED

A potato walks into a bar smoking a joint...

He puts out the joint and sits at the bar and orders a side of bacon. When it arrives he dumps it on his head.

Then he orders a side of green onions. When it arrives he dumps it on his head.

Then he orders a side of cheddar. When it arrives he dumps it on his head.

Last he order...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a drunk guy in line at the grocery store...

The woman in front of him has a block of cheddar cheese, a half gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs.

He stumbles up to her and says, "Why, you must be single!"

Rather surprised, she looks at him and replies, "Yes, I am single! You could tell that just from what I'm buying?"

Withou...

Cheesy joke

A muenster attacked Emmenthal institution. Everyone cheddared with panic. There was de brie everywhere. It was no Gouda.

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cheesy Jokes

What sort of cheese would you use to entice a bear from a cave?

Camembert



What sort of cheese can hide a small horse?

Mascarpone



Why did the cheese get beat up by the stone?

Because the Roquefort back



Why did the one legge...

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