UPJOKE
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My Canadian friend eats a bowl of fries, cheese curds and brown gravy every single morning.

It's just his daily poutine.

What did the Mandalorian say when his milk curdled and he strained out the curds?

This is the whey.

What is the least popular food dish in Turkey?

Poutine.

It's the curds they can't stand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

Be very careful if someone offers you fries, gravy, and cheese curds with raspberries on top.

I’ve heard of people trying to poison raspoutine.

I thought i could win the cheese curd eating contest.

But there was no whey.

What’s a cheese’s favorite guitarist?

Curd Cobain

I went to a cheese making factory

They talked about a special kind of milk that they used that produced only curds.

I was like "no whey!!"

I was having lunch a few minutes ago and I realized tofu is overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"

But it's just a curd to me

What's the difference between Little Miss Muffet and President Erdogan?

Nothing. Little Miss Muffet also had curds in her whey.

My younger brother took his life 3 years ago. Always a comedian, here’s his cheesiest joke

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y...

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet

Eating her curds and whey.

She stuck in her thumb and pulled out a plum

And said, "I'm in the wrong nursery rhyme!"


Okay, I'll try another one...


Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Eating his Christmas pie.

Along came a spider who sat down beside him...

What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common?

They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.)

***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do cheese call sex?

The curds and the bries

...

Yes I'm sober

Trump must have never eaten a thanksgiving poutine...

Anyone who has could tell you curds and turkey don’t get along.

Turkey has just banned cheese...

It seems they have issues with the curds.

Why did the Turkish army stay out of Syria?

There were curds in their whey.

Why is Secretary of State Tillerson holding middle east peace talks during Thanksgiving in Wisconsin?

It's the only state that serves curds and turks at the same table.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lumberjack has sex with a witch, gets his soul trapped inside a jigsaw, and seeks revenge by ruining her cheese company

*I Came. I Saw. I Con Curd.*

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