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Family of three were watching TV on evening.

The young son was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, fiddling with a yogurt packet. He couldn't get the lid off.

"Stupid fucking yogurt," the son muttered while he was struggling with the yogurt lid.

The mother was appalled, knowing that her husband too has a horrible mouth. Sh...

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What's the gayest kind of yogurt?

Fruit on the bottom.

What's the difference between America and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

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A man broke into my house last night, and he stole my cheese, milk, ice cream, yogurt, and butter.

How dairy.

Milk, cheese and yogurt may be different products

But their origins are udderly similar.

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A few days ago, I told a lady on the bus she had semen on the back of her shirt.

She told me, "Probably just some yogurt." Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt.

What did yogurt say to bacon?

You uncultured swine.

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Ate some habanero yogurt yesterday

Shit’s on fire yo

My friend likes to grow bacteria from his yogurt like I do

I see he's a man of culture as well

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

A guy keeps throwing milk and yogurt at my house.

How dairy!!!

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Three men rob a bank

It's night. They tie up the security guard and head to the safes. The gang open the first safe and see that there's no money, only yogurts. Frustrated, the robbers decide they might as well eat them. Afterwards, they open the second safe but it's full of yogurts as well, they eat everything and move...

What do you call haunted yogurt?

Paranormal Activia.

My new neighbors are from a foreign country and refused to eat the yogurt I offered them.

Pretty sure it's a cultural thing.

People made of yogurt are always well traveled

They are truly people of culture.

Why does a blonde open yogurt in the store?

Because the box says "Open here"

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar.

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”

My girlfriend decided to quit her job at the yogurt company

The truth his, she never really liked the culture

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

pop culture

How do we know that Greek yogurt's Greek?

Because it's whey strained.

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A boy in a kitchen is struggling to open a yogurt

"Godamn-shit-fuck!" the boy says in his frustration.
"I wonder where he got that from?" the mother says to the father.
"Probably from the fridge, you silly cunt" the father replies.

I'm starting a combination Frozen Yogurt shop and news stand..

It will be called Froyo Information.

I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout...

I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality

Two yogurts walk into an upscale bar that is holding a speed dating event.

The bouncer stops them at the door, says, "Sorry gentlemen. We don't serve your kind in here."

So one of the yogurts says, "Why not? We're two cultured singles!"

I bought some Greek yogurt today

It started asking all of the other food in my fridge for money

What kind of yogurt does a skeleton eat?

Actibia.

Why did the anthropologist eat a lot of yogurt?

So that he could understand culture.

Why is there such a big contrast between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?

Because they're different cultures.

My son complained to me that his yogurt was too soupy.

I told him to suck it up.

There are three rockstars on a plane

There are three rockstars on a plane. To celebrate the success of their recent tour they each decided to throw something out of the plane. The first throws a watermelon, the second throws yogurt, and the third throws a bomb. When they land they decide to go on a walk. The come across a boy in his ya...

Why are yogurt eaters sophisticated?

Because they're WELL-CULTURED.

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A mother, father, and their young son are sitting on the couch watching tv

The boy is eating some yogurt, and his mom asks him how he likes it. He replies “it’s fucking great you moron”.
The mom is very upset so she looks at her husband and asks “where do you think he got that from?”, and he replies “from the fucking fridge, moron”.

Three bank robbers

Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.
"We didnt find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave.
The next mornings newspaper headline r...

My son told me a joke and I thought I would share it with you all!

My mom said I couldn’t get a frozen yogurt. She said “do you think I’m made of money?”
Then I said, “isn’t that what mom stands for?”

A man wakes hungover

A man wakes up in his bed with a terrible hangover. He looks to his bedside table and finds some ibuprofen and a glass of water. He glances around the bedroom and sees that it is cleaner than usual and his work clothes are laid out. He pops the ibuprofen and washes it down with water, and finds a no...

A joke that my grandpa told me: An American, a Russian, and a German are stranded on an island,...

...desperate for food they decided to each contribute a part of their body for everyone to eat.

On the first night the German cuts off his arm, and everyone eats for a week.

Next, the Russian cuts off his leg and everyone eats for another week.

On the third week, as the American...

A guy's working as a cashier at Best Buy

He finds his job a little dull, but from where he's stationed he can see out to store entrance to the parking lot (and more importantly, the sky) outside. He spends a lot of time looking out the store entrance and daydreaming, but one day he notices a blond woman walk up to the store with a bunch of...

I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.

He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.

After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.

It was shocking. All I could think was “how dare he!”

Robbers got into a bank

In the bank there were only yogurts. The robbers were angry and confused so they ate the yogurts. The asked angrily one of the people there: “What is this bank?”
The person answered: “This is the sperm bank.”

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A woman is walking around a grocery store...

...completing her shopping list. When she finally collects what she came for, she makes her way to the cashier and unloads her basket onto the conveyer.

The clerk begins to ring up her items;
He grabs her container of mixed salad greens and passes it over the barcode scanner. 'BOOP' sou...

Four robber are robbing a bank

After opening the safe, the only thing they found is a box with about 200 yogurts. Furious because they didn't find the money, they eat all the 200 yogurts, thinking it'd upset the owner. As they were leaving, they ask the security where was all the money, to which the security answered: "What do yo...

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I told the woman in front of me on the bus that she had semen on the back of her shirt...

She said "No, its probably yogurt or something." I apologized and explained that no, "I don't ejaculate yogurt." She was furious, but hey, my stop was next, and I had to get off.

A lady goes into the dry cleaners

Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"

The Clerk: "Come again?"

Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt"

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner

She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

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Me: how is your bacteria converted into lactose, mixed with some sugar and milk and fruit to give it that nice extra flavor?

Friend: It's called yogurt asshole

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A woman at the grocery store goes to the register to check out her stuff..

She gets there and the cashier proceeds to scan her items.. One apple, one bottle of water, one yogurt, one banana etc.. One of everything....
So the cashier tells her:
- Ha! You must be single!
- Huh?, What makes you say that?
- Well you're fucking ugly

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A man walks into a grocery store

He asks the employee "Do you have any mango yogurt?" The employee promptly replies "No, we don't." and the man walks out.
Next day, the man walks into the store again and asks the employee "Do you have any mango yogurt?" The employee says "I'm sorry, we don't have any. I don't think we ever will....

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, “You must be single.” She responds, “You can tell that by what I bought?” The cashier says, “No, you’re ugly.”

The 3 year old and the beggar

The beggar knocked on the door . A 3 year old boy came and opened the door for him. The beggar asked if he could have a glass of water. The 3 year old boy said , "wait" and then he went and got the water with the yogurt pot. ( you have to know , the place where I Iive sells yogurt with the a big sor...

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Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream ...

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A man gets a new job working on an island...

He'll be on this island working with other men for several months. On his first day his boss is showing him around and explaining how things work. After a while the man asks, "Seems like an alright place, but I notice there's no women here. What do you guys do for sex?"

The boss responds, "We...

recently re-relevant

So Monica Lewinsy rushes into the dry cleaner with a blue dress clutched in her hand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." Realizing that he has been spoken to, but not certain what was said, the dry cleaner responds "Come again?"

No, say...

Vladimir Putin met Bashar al-Assad

One day Vladimir Putin met Bashar al-Assad. The conversation turned to America.

Assad: Hey Vlad, what's the difference between America and a carton of yogurt?

Putin: I don't know, what?

Assad: If you leave a carton of yogurt alone for 200 years, it'll grow a culture.

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