UPJOKE
iceboxfridgefreezerpantryjarammoniadefrostfoodrefrigeratepizzaleftovercupboardrefrigerationdishwasheroven

Is your refrigerator running?

If so, I may vote for it.

I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it.

There might be a salad dressing.

How do you fit an Elephant in a refrigerator ?

Open the door, shove in the Elephant, close the door.


*How do you fit a Giraffe in a refrigerator?*

Open the door, take out the Elephant, shove in the Giraffe, close the door.


*A plane has 20 bricks on the right hand side and 21 bricks on the left side. How do you balanc...

I got my son a refrigerator for his birthday

I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it

If your refrigerator is running

You better go catch it.

Why shouldn’t you hang your diplomas on the refrigerator?

Because a refrigerator shouldn’t have too many degrees.

Came home from work to find my wife left a note on the refrigerator.

It said this is not working. I’m at my moms!

Opened it up and everything seem to be working fine to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter announces that due to overcrowding, only extremely gruesome deaths will be admitted into heaven today, sorry for any inconvenience

The first man comes up and Pete says, "How did you die?"

"Well, I's been suspicious that me wife been cheating on me, so I comes home early from work today to catch her, I does. She acts all innocent, she does. She says, 'Go ahead, search the apartment if that will make you feel better,' she ...

I'm sure my wife liked the new refrigerator that I bought her for Christmas.

When she opened it her face lit up!

Doctor, Doctor, doctor! Help me. My teenage son thinks he's a refrigerator.

Stay calm. I'm sure he'll chill out!

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before land...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't say ANYTHING about your sex life around any "smart" device like Siri, Alexa, television or refrigerator.

I made that mistake, and I'm now getting popup ads for vacuum cleaners, cat litter and oil changes at Jiffy Lube.

It's not your dryer that's shrinking your clothes...

It's your refrigerator.

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away."

The second lady said, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can't remember whether I was on ...

Is your refrigerator running?

A man walks into a bar and is about to order a beer when he's interrupted by the bar phone ringing. The bartender answers. A voice asks, "Is your refrigerator running?" The bartender replies with a sigh. "Yes" The voice replies,"Good. Mine too. I'll see you at the refrigerator races tomorrow."

500 bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left?

A. 499

Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A. Open refrigerator, put elephant in, close refrigerator.

Q. What are the 4 simple steps of putting a giraffe in a refrigerat...

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?

Close the door, I'm dressing.

I came home from work to see a note from my girlfriend taped to the refrigerator. It said, "You're too literal. This isn't working, so I'm leaving you."

I don't understand. The light came on when I opened the door, and all the food was still cold.

A squirrel in the refrigerator

A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator

to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.

“What are you doing in my fridge?” the man asks.

The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?”

“Um, yes,” the man replies...

I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon….

The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.

"Tell me about the day you died."

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was hav...

My missus was furious at me for kicking dropped ice-cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's just water under the fridge.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

(This is a 6 in 1 joke)
Person 1: You have 500 bricks. If you throw one off a plane, how many will you have left?
Person 2: 499.
Person 1: Correct!

Person 1: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Person 2: That’s not physically possible.
Person 1: Wrong, you open the ...

If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon it’ll be just water under the fridge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you kill a blue Elephant?

With a blue elephant gun obviously.

*How do you kill a red elephant?*

You choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How do you kill a green elephant?*

You tickle it til it turns red then choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How ...

Reddit is like a Refrigerator

I keep opening it hoping for something good, but it is just leftovers I don't want.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a refrigerator and a black man?

A refrigerator doesn’t get shot for running

So, apple, lemon, and pea escape from the refrigerator..

Happy to be free from their prison, they go to a bar to celebrate. Many bars later, they're all tipsy at best when they come across a hill.

Pea, being a energetic drunk, gets super excited saying, "Hey! Let's roll down the hill! Come on!" And before the other two object he launches hims...

Need a joke about a refrigerator for work

I work in a refrigerator manufacturing plant and am giving a presentation next week. I would like to start out the presentation with a joke to lighten the mood. Anyone have any short, clean jokes about refrigerators?

Why if there a 'd' in fridge and not refrigerator?

Because I'm an english pervert not an american pervert.

A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict.

It starts in a box and moves to a house.

I used to worry about the ice cubes I’d kick into the abyss under the refrigerator.

But I figure, what the hell.

It’s old water under the fridge.

If you're struggling to know what to get someone for a present, get them a refrigerator

And watch their face light up when they open it.

Daughter goes to her mom and asks "where did my name come from?"

"Well, when you were born a rose petal gently fell onto your head. So we called you Rose."

Second daughter asks "where did my name come from?"

"Well, when you were born a lily petal fell onto your head. So we called you "Lily"

Third daughter asks "MMMGGHHHFF?".

"Shut up, ...

three brainteasers to sharpen your mind

**Q1 : how do you put an elephant in a refrigerator in three steps ?**

Answer :

1. you open the refrigerator
2. you put the elephant in
3. you close the refrigerator

**Q2 : how do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator in four steps ?** ...

How can you tell if your refrigerator has two elephants inside of it?

The door won't close.

I put a new freezer next to the refrigerator

now they're just chilling.

I put a padlock on the refrigerator and superglued the key to the bottom of my big toe making it difficult to access the food.

I’m on the Key Toe Diet!

What did the cannibal say as he took his spouse's thigh out of the refrigerator?

Today is the first day of the rest of my wife.

Hey, is your refrigerator running?

Good. I'd vote for it over Trump or Biden any day.

My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator

It's not cool man

Piggy bank in the refrigerator

My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.

One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.

Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."

How do you know if there’s a stegosaurus in your refrigerator?

The door won’t close.

A few hours ago I dropped a piece of ice

It slid under the refrigerator. I was really upset at first but now it's water under the fridge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian moves to America

(Mild swearing at the end)

A young man from the depths of Siberia, Dmitri, moves to America hoping to start a new life. He buys a nice apartment, lives comfortably and integrates himself into the community, as a fine, upstanding citizen of New York.

6 or 7 months later, his old friends...

Why don't they make refrigerators circular?

Because that would make them 360 degrees.

Is your refrigerator running?...

Cause it would probably be a better president #fridge2k16

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guys died and went to heaven

As they were standing in front of the pearly Gates jesus appeared before them and explained, unfortunately we have been running at full capacity and at the moment we can only let in people in who died in an especially horrific way.

The first guy started to explain how he died. I left work ea...

Why did the little girl close her eyes after opening the refrigerator?

Because she saw the salad dressing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys: If you are still stuck on a late Christmas present for the Wife. Get her a refrigerator.

Her little face will light up when she opens it.

Failing that, get her some slippers and a dildo.

If she don't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

Sitting in a refrigerator

This guy comes home from work early and runs up several flights of stairs to surprise his wife. As soon as he gets inside he smells cigar smoke and immediately gets the notion that his wife was fooling around with another man. Convinced he is still in the appartment, he checks every possible hiding ...

Is your refrigerator running?

Good, mine too. See you at the refrigerator race tomorrow.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

- First open the fridge door, put the elephant in then close the door.

- How do you put an alligator into a refrigerator?

- First open the door, take the elephant out, put the alligator in then close the door.

- A farmer is invited to a wedding party, on the way there he has to ...

I walked into the kitchen and everything in the refrigerator was on the counter, even the shelves.

Confused, I opened the refrigerator and found my blonde wife sitting in it drinking from a bottle of juice, when I asked her why she was in there she said "It says refrigerate after opening!.".

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a drug addict?

A refrigerator starts in a box and moves into a house.

(This is not mine, but I don't know the source. Either way, I thought it should be shared.)

My daughter asked what I was doing with my shotgun, I said I was hunting decepticons. She laughed, I laughed, the refrigerator laughed, I shot the refrigerator. Turns out...

It's illegal to fire a gun within city limits, I got arrested.

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a woman?

A refrigerator doesn’t moan when you put a piece of meat in it.

My mother claims that raw fish keeps disappearing from our refrigerator

It's the Ghost of sushi, ma

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running??

Me- No, but the dishwasher is..
Prank Caller- Huh???
Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog...

How do you know when to use "fridge" or "refrigerator"?

Open it, if there's a 'd' in it, it's a fridge.

“Just put the jelly in the refrigerator” my mom yelled

“There’s not enough room” I responded as I tried to jam it in

What happens when you put an elephant in the refrigerator?

Answer:It becomes cold duh!

What happens you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

What people say:It becomes cold?

Correct Answer: You can't put it there, the elephant is already in there.


The Lion is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Men and a Refrigerator

One day, God decided he needed a few more souls in Heaven, so he would grant an entrance to the people who could tell the best stories of how they died. He told this plan to St. Peter and sent him about his business.

A small while later, a man comes up. St. Peter tells him of God's deal and a...

Is your refrigerator running?

If so, you definitely don’t live in Puerto Rico.

So I'm cleaning out my refrigerator and couldn't help to notice what a great blue cheese selection I have.

Not intentionally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came home the other day and found a note on the refrigerator.

It said, This isn't working, I've gone to my mother's. So I opened the fridge and the light came on and the beer was cold, so I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. But I hope she's back from her visit to make my supper ...

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