UPJOKE
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Nieces Jokes

Why did Jesus’s nieces and nephews hate his wife?

Because she was the Aunty Christ.

My 4 year old nieces jokes:

Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea weed.

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.

Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear...

My nieces joke

I was telling my little niece some jokes, and she loved them and started making up her own, but she doesn't quite understand how jokes work yet.
Her: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don't know, why DID the chicken cross the road?
Her: LIGHT BULB!

My nieces are darlings...

My nieces are darlings said Sid.

I'm obliged to do whatever they bid.

As I tucked them in bed,

I asked "What's to be read?"

"Uncle Remus!" they cried, so I did.

My nieces asked me to kill a wasp for them...

I told the that that's a feature of "Uncle Premium" and their attitudes only get them the basic subscription!

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.

The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.

She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety fe...

It was my nieces birthday so I asked her mother what present I should get her. She said ‘you can’t really go wrong with Frozen stuff’.

So I got her a bag of peas.

I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons.

I think I have telekinieces.

Did you hear of the Ukrainian soldier who didn’t want to fight, but, when called upon to do so, defended the lives of his wife’s mom, her dad, her sister, her two brothers, her nieces and her nephews, and others who hadn’t been born yet - all with the help of a shoulder-fired missile?

He loves his NLAWs.

[OC] I'm gonna name my daughter Vaccine...

That way she will have to explain to her nieces and nephews why she is Auntie Vax.

Having a baby girl? You should name her Artica.

It's awesome because all her nieces and nephews will have an Aunt Artica.

Aunt Bessie figures it all out...

Aunt Bessie loves to meet and pamper her nieces and nephews, but she is limited only to her city, as she has a severe fear of flying. *"Who knows! Someone may be carrying a bomb!"*. Her relatives try and try to convince her how safe it is to fly nowadays, but 'she ain't gonna listen to nobody!'
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Real Story: My first Dad joke

Wife had a C-section and was in recovery. I go to update my family who have been waiting for 4 hours in the waiting room. They asked how's she doing and I said that her and our baby girl are okay.

Then they asked who the baby looks more like, me or my wife.

I said,"Eh, I dunno, but...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Southern ball in need of two male guests.

A lady of the plantation in a southern state was holding a ball in her wonderful country house. With most of the local well-to-do's attending and a great portion of her extended family (those who she did invite, of course) coming as well, she found herself with a problem.


Her two nieces w...

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