Grandchild Jokes

A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn'... read more

Grandma: no honey, I did only 53, we live in a small community

"Tell us about the time you nearly robbed a bank!", asks little Billy.

"Well," says the bear, "I walked into the bank with my gun and told everyone to put their hands up"

"Then what happened?" asked Billy

The bear, visibly scared, responds, "I don't know, they all got really big... read more

A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it.

An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock so lo... read more

Grandpa: So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?

Grandchild: I'm a model during the week, I'm a DJ in the weekends and an influencer by contract

Grandpa: I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed son, be patient

The grandfather told his grandchild that, due to his wife passing, he had started cooking. The grandchild didn’t expect his grandfather to ever begin cooking, so they headed towards the dining room to see what he made for dinner.

When they sat down, the grandchild notice that the food looked... read more

The grandchild after searching for that blue pill in the whole neighborhood, finally finds it and gives it to his grandfather

Next morning he wakes up and finds 350€ in his wallet instead of 50€

Being confused about that goes to his grandfather and explains him what happened

The... read more

Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class to talk about his experiences. He tells the class, "I remember one time, me and my squadron was comin' back from escortin' some B-17 and we're almost over the Channel, when one a dem Fokkers come out of a cloud..." A few kids chuckle ... read more

Grandma is seeing that her grandchild, a young woman, is getting ready to go out, dressing up nicely and being all nervous. So she asked her grandchild about her plans.
"Why, I am going out on my first date with a handsome young fella, Grandma! I am so excited!"

The Grandma raised her eye... read more

When out of nowhere, a huge wave comes and sweeps him out to sea.

She drops to her knees and pleads, "Please God, save my only grandchild. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.

And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.<... read more

theyre getting ready for a fishing trip. At some point the grandfather looks down at his grandchild and says

"I bet you 10$ that you can't put one of those worms back into one of those holes"

The grandson accepts the challenge, runs into the house then comes back out with a can of hair... read more

My grandchild was sick the other day and I asked him if it was the flu.

“No, it’s the new COVID-69.”

All I could say was, “nice.”

- simple explaination ...

"Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and rea... read more

They’ve invited one of their grandchildren over for the night. The oldest of the brothers is upstairs getting ready to take a bath. Just as he steps in he stops and thinks for a moment ten shouts downstairs to the other two brother: “Was I getting in the bath or getting out?”
“What’d he say?” S... read more

A girl, her grandma, a guy and his boss share a compartment in a train. From the beginning of the journey it's pretty obvious that the girl and guy like each other. Once when the train passes through a tunnel and plunged into darkness a kissing sound and slap is heard. When the train comes out into ... read more