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News Article Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just saw a news article about an unidentified person found beaten, robbed, and naked in the park...

The unknown victim was described as being out-of-shape, small penis, and slight neck beard.

Anyway, just wanted to check in, worried about you guys. Let me know you're okay.

Just saw a news article

about someone impersonating a mime. The mime community is quite upset about this but something tells me they aren't going to speak out about it.

I saw a news article about how a dwarf got pickpocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?

Three social media news article writers walk into a bar

You won't believe what happens next.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read a news article about a woman with 12 boobs

Seems pretty interesting, dozen tit?

A scientist named Berade cloned himself 76 times. Because of a mutation, the clones were all much more muscular than the real Berade.

One day one of the clones said to his 75 fellow clones, "I'm tired of that weakling bossing us around! He's treating us like servants just because he created us!"

So the clones all picked up Berade and threw him into a pigpen. When Berade landed, a hornet's nest was dislodged, and the hornets...

Three Nuns

One Friday, there were 3 nuns riding on a mountain road. They were coming around a turn when a semi rammed into them head on killing them instantly. They were coming to the gates of heaven and noticed a sign that said "Closed for Remodeling".
One nun knocked on the gates and out came St. Peter. H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I heard he got caught but got off easy

I just read a news article with the headline "Woman beats off rapist!" and I thought... "Well... that seems like a reasonable compromise..."

I think Google is drunk or something…

It keeps giving me news articles when I search for "Asian forced by three guys."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Purple and a Grey walk into a bar...

The bartender says "what'll it be, boys?"
The grey is indecisive and thinks long and hard about his decision.
A little annoyed, the bartender turns to the purple.
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But he was already passed out on the bathroom floor.
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