Warning.... Dad Joke: What was Lloyd cited for?

Lloydering.

What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?

An influenzer.

A citizen was cited for a tax investigation in the IRS.

Frightened, he asked his accountant how to dress.


-"Use rags, they'll think you're a beggar," the accountant replied.

When he asked his lawyer, he told him the exact opposite:

-'Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and most elegant tie'


Confused, t...

Today a woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

When I got face to face with the woman, I said, "Miss, are you aware that you could be cited for indecent exposure?"

"Why?" the woman asked.

"Well," I said, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse."

The woman quickly looked down and screamed, "Oh my God! I left my baby ...

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

If you cited something from Reddit...

I guess you could call it Creddit

Did John Knott mind being the only cited author on his group's research paper?

Knott, et al.

A dog gave birth to puppies on the side of the road

She was cited for littering

My last girlfriend became a cop and ended up pulling me over and writing me a ticket. She asked why I seemed so happy about it.

I told her I was just ex-cited.

I tried to register slimshady.com, and it turns out the US government forcibly took it over.

They cited Eminem domain.

Trump writing a term paper:

Sources Cited:
1. You know it
2. I know it
3. We all know it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reasons why God never got tenure at the university.

1. He had only one major publication.
2. And it was in Hebrew.
3. And it had no cited references.
4. And it wasn't published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
5. And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world but what has he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A few statistics...

Studies show ¾ths of the general public prefer to be told statistics in percents as compared to fractions.

10/9 of them are unable to spot errors in said statistics.

63% of the population will believe a statistic if it has a famous name cited with it. - Julius Cesar, May 1973

Th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.