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Quoting Jokes

My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride

Unbelievable!

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

My wife said she would divorce me if I kept quoting Star Trek.

So I said, "Number Two, make it so!"

Quoting someone's mistakes...

Quoting someone's mistakes is a sic burn.

My brother told me to stop quoting The Village People

I said 'Young man.'

Just a heads up: I have this weird habit of quoting Elton John's "Your Song"...

I hope you don't mind.

My girlfriend left me cause I couldn’t stop quoting linkin park songs

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

My girlfriend told me she is sick of me quoting movies all the time

I said quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn

My wife said she’d leave me if I kept quoting Shrek and I didn’t believe her

But then I saw her face

My wife demanded I stop quoting Oasis lyrics or she'll have to leave me

I said maybe

My wife told me to stop quoting Backstreet Boys in normal conversations

"Tell me why", I replied

Quoting old vines counts as a personality, right?

I sure hope it does

one time in Vietnam my drill sergeant angrily asked who the hell kept quoting Credence Clearwater Revival

I said "It ain't me"

Quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail

is as easy as 1-2-5

I used to be addicted to quoting Taylor Swift

But I think I'm finally clean.

My wife said to me if I don't stop quoting Star Wars she's going to leave me

I replied "Only a Sith deals in absolutes"

My girlfriend says I need to stop quoting Run D.M.C. ...

But it's like that, and that's the way it is.

Donald Trump calls the media 'fake news' even when they're directly quoting something he said/tweeted...

...but since most of the things he says are fake, by transitive property, the news is fake too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist said I need to stop quoting shows so much, not sure why, but

That’s what she said

My girlfriend told me that she'll kick me out if I don't stop quoting Lynyrd Skynyrd.

I asked her "If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"

My wife asked if I will ever stop quoting Gangsta's Paradise

The way things are going I don't know

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching "13 Going On 30." I'm at the part where Jennifer Garner is hosting a sleepover for the neighbor girl and her friends. She's quoting "Love is a Battlefield" and it's got me thinking

since when do I watch the E channel and where is that fucking remote.

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