UPJOKE
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My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride

Unbelievable!

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Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me
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My wife said she would divorce me if I kept quoting Star Trek.

So I said, "Number Two, make it so!"
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Quoting someone's mistakes...

Quoting someone's mistakes is a sic burn.
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My brother told me to stop quoting The Village People

I said 'Young man.'
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Just a heads up: I have this weird habit of quoting Elton John's "Your Song"...

I hope you don't mind.
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My girlfriend left me cause I couldn’t stop quoting linkin park songs

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
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My girlfriend told me she is sick of me quoting movies all the time

I said quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn
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My wife said she’d leave me if I kept quoting Shrek and I didn’t believe her

But then I saw her face
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My wife demanded I stop quoting Oasis lyrics or she'll have to leave me

I said maybe
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My wife told me to stop quoting Backstreet Boys in normal conversations

"Tell me why", I replied
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Quoting old vines counts as a personality, right?

I sure hope it does
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one time in Vietnam my drill sergeant angrily asked who the hell kept quoting Credence Clearwater Revival

I said "It ain't me"
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Quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail

is as easy as 1-2-5
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I used to be addicted to quoting Taylor Swift

But I think I'm finally clean.
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My wife said to me if I don't stop quoting Star Wars she's going to leave me

I replied "Only a Sith deals in absolutes"
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My girlfriend says I need to stop quoting Run D.M.C. ...

But it's like that, and that's the way it is.
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Donald Trump calls the media 'fake news' even when they're directly quoting something he said/tweeted...

...but since most of the things he says are fake, by transitive property, the news is fake too
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist said I need to stop quoting shows so much, not sure why, but

That’s what she said

My girlfriend told me that she'll kick me out if I don't stop quoting Lynyrd Skynyrd.

I asked her "If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"
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My wife asked if I will ever stop quoting Gangsta's Paradise

The way things are going I don't know
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching "13 Going On 30." I'm at the part where Jennifer Garner is hosting a sleepover for the neighbor girl and her friends. She's quoting "Love is a Battlefield" and it's got me thinking

since when do I watch the E channel and where is that fucking remote.

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