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Weekly Jokes

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A guy chats with his milkman during the weekly daily delivery.

"You should've seen yesterday's party, it was great. There was me, my wife and many couples in the neighborhood. By the end we were completely hammered."

"Oh yeah? How did it go?" The milkman inquires.

"Well, we got so drunk that we got the idea for a little game. The men went into ano...

I think my wife has weekly sessions with the devil on how to be more evil.

I don't know what she charges him for it though.




Edit: Considering the attention, I should attribute this to the great Emo Phillips:

"People come up to me concerned... I'll reproduce"

"People come up to me and ask, Emo, do people really come up to you?"

"I len...

Weekly cult meetings

A cult holds weekly meetings and all members are expected to attend regularly. This week only two cultists show up. After waiting awkwardly for awhile making small talk, they realize no one else is coming.

Both of them are getting nervous and they admit to each other they missed last weeks c...

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The three life stages of sex

Age 18-35: Tri-Weekly

Age 35-60: Try Weekly

Age 60-90: Try Weakly

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Life cycle of the male sex drive

Age 16-32 : Tri-weekly

Ages 32-55: Try-weekly

Over 55: Try-weakly

Two elderly couples have their weekly meet up at a table in their local park.

They take a seat, the ladies chat with one another across the table, as do the gents.

Fred asks Harold "Are you still going to that memory clinic?"

Harold says "Yes, it's been helping my memory a lot, I recommend you come along to our next session"

"What do they do there?" asks ...

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Male Sex Drive Through The Ages

Between 16 and 32: Tri-weekly

Between 33 and 52: Try weekly

52 and up: Try weakly

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[NSFW] A priest and an old blind woman who plays the church organ, are preparing for the weekly sermon.

Every week, the organ player eats a banana to keep her energy up before the crowds arrive, but she always seems to have terrible trouble peeling it.

The priest sees an opportunity and decides to swap the banana for his penis. The organ player grabs his tackle and starts fondling it.

...

I go to a Plastic Surgery Addict Support Group weekly.

There are a lot of new faces in the group every week.

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The organs of the human body meet up at their weekly support group.

Heart: So tell me, how are all of you doing?

Large intestine: Not good. I’m all backed up on work and my productivity is shit.

Gallbladder: Same here. My girlfriend told me yesterday that she thinks I’m narcisscystic.

Heart: How about you, Brain?

Brain: Just terrible. I...

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This is just awful, but I laughed. From a member of my weekly volunteer teaching group in Japan: My friend called me up and asked, "Hey are you free tonight?"

I replied, "Of course, I'm an American."

My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.

I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"

"Sir?" I asked.

"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."

"Yes, sir"

"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you ...

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An old man takes his weekly visit to his psychiatrist

The psychiatrist asks:

How is your relationship with god?

The old man replies:

It’s amazing, god helps me so much. Every night when I need to use the toilet, he turns the light on for me and closes it for me after I have finished. God is amazing.

The psychiatrist was...

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Sorry everyone, the weekly reading of the Communist Manifesto has been canceled.

My parents are remodeling their basement.

My ex had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil

I still don't know how much she charged him though.

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