UPJOKE
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I got charged way more than I was quoted for a new set of tires!

They said it was due to inflation.

Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels.

T. Hanks: I hate It.

My girlfriend said she'd leave me if I quoted Arnold Schwarzenegger one more time.

She can leave me all she likes but I'll be back

Stalin was quoted as saying "Dark humor is like food..."

"Not everyone gets it."

My ex girlfriend broke up with me because I quoted Linkin Park too much.

But in the end it doesn't even matter.

After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying...

"As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."

Upon gaining sentience, a donut was quoted as saying:

"There are dozens of us!"

I just called a bouncy house place for my kids birthday party...

We got one larger than last year but the guy quoted us 50% higher cost.

I asked him whats up with the price.

He said, blame inflation.

Jesus was really bad at threatening people...

He was quoted for saying "Nobody double crosses me". And look where that got him.

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