My girlfriend said she'd leave me if I quoted Arnold Schwarzenegger one more time.

She can leave me all she likes but I'll be back

Stalin was quoted as saying "Dark humor is like food..."

"Not everyone gets it."

My ex girlfriend broke up with me because I quoted Linkin Park too much.

But in the end it doesn't even matter.

Upon gaining sentience, a donut was quoted as saying:

"There are dozens of us!"

After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying...

"As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."

A Nigerian Governor wants to paint the Government house.

A Nigerian Governor wants to paint the Government house. He calls for quotation....
Chinese guy quoted 3 million.
European guy quoted 7 million.
Nigerian guy quoted 10 million.
The Governor asked the chinese guy.."..
how did u quote 3 million..?"
Chinese guy replied .."1 million ...

A recent study has shown that Marijuana smoking can cause hypersalivation in some people.

When asked what could be done about it, a doctor was quoted as saying “You can either spit, or get off the pot.”

My friend hired a hot air balloon for his wedding.

They quoted him 200 and on the day charged 400. Said it was due to inflation.

Kenny Rogers has died at the age of 81

In a statement to confused reporters, Kenny Loggins was quoted as saying “I’m alright, Don’t nobody worry bout me”

(It’s a Caddyshack joke)

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