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Describing Jokes

This book I've been reading about brown bears spends way too long describing them.

It includes all of the grizzly details.

What's a four letter word describing a female that ends in -unt?

Aunt

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Therapist: I’ve concluded that you are incapable of describing your feelings.

Patient: I can’t say that I am surprised!

My first patient of the day walked in and began describing her symptoms in graphic detail.

They don't prepare you for this in veterinary school.

A son was describing his day to his mom.

He said "Mom, today I got up from the bus to allow a pretty woman to sit down after dad made me stand up."

His mom replied "Well dear, doing a nice thing is good, so why did dad have to make you get up?"

The son said "Because I was on dad's lap and I wanted to be warm."

What do you say if someone won't stop describing a jug?

Okay, I get the pitcher

A blind man was describing his favorite sport-parachuting.

When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him.

“I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go.”

“But how do you know when you are going to land?”, he was asked.

“Well, I have a very keen...

Politics is self describing

The word politics comes from poli- meaning many,

and -tics, meaning blood sucking parasites.

What do you call the terms describing lawn ornaments?

Gnomenclature

The word Moist is only great at describing two things, cake...

And your Mom

My wife told me that I was incapable of describing my feelings.

I don't know how to feel about it.

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire.

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. The barista asks each of them why they think the empire is falling.

Aristotle gives a powerful speech about how the empire has failed to live up to its telos and deconstructs the very nature of what an em...

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A translated Norwegian joke

Two guys meets in the middle of nowhere, trying to find their wives.
They decide to help each other out, by describing their wives.

The first man goes on: "My wife is tall, well fit, blonde, got big firm breasts, thight bouncy ass, a massive lust for sex and a face of a model. How about y...

If each letter in Ethiopia stood for a word describing the country,

The f would stand for food

I don't understand what's so hard about describing a single portion of a soft and sweet baked good.

Honestly, it's a piece of cake.

My wife ran into the room suddenly and yelled: “Quick! Do you know of anything physical that gives off no smells? Zero. Sort of like an olfactory camouflage that would be utterly invisible to the nose?”

Confused, I thought for a moment, and then replied: “What you are describing makes absolutely no scents”

Scientists have discovered a stone tablet 60,000 years old inscibed with pictographs describing the idea of "the glass half empty or half full."

They are calling the prehistoric philosopher "optimist prime."

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