A son was describing his day to his mom.

He said "Mom, today I got up from the bus to allow a pretty woman to sit down after dad made me stand up."

His mom replied "Well dear, doing a nice thing is good, so why did dad have to make you get up?"

The son said "Because I was on dad's lap and I wanted to be warm."

[My wife translated his joke for me from arabic]

A woman's husband had to go to a hospital in Sweden for his advanced sickness and the woman goes to her friend for comfort. She says to her friend, "I know he is sick, but he has been so sweet...he's been asking for pictures of me everyday". The friend then says, "that's surprising because I heard ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist: I’ve concluded that you are incapable of describing your feelings.

Patient: I can’t say that I am surprised!

A joke my friend told me (long)

Two Texans are hanging out in hell. One day, the devil walks up and says, "why are you two not burning?" The Texans reply, "We're from Texas, this feels great." So the devil goes and turns the heat wayyy up. There's no describing this heat. He returns to the Texans to find them still just hanging ou...

What's a four letter word describing a female that ends in -unt?

Aunt

A doctor and a lawyer are talking at a party.

Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asks the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to...

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