I saw a news story that says there are 60,000 active cases of Coronavirus.

At least these infected people are exercising a lot.

According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo.

So in other words, basically nothing is going to change.

I saw a news story about teens getting high while washing in the shower...

They said it was leading to harder drug use and a real slippery soap.

If I had a dollar every time a news story features the president in these 4 years...

News stories will start to feature me in the next 4 years.

Can you be electrocuted by a news story?

The answer may shock you.

Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb?

It's blowing up

Did you see that crazy news story on the internet?

Of course. You reddit

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old woman was watching the news while waiting for her husband to return from the Elk's club

A breaking news story came on about a car driving the wrong away on the interstate.
Being worked for her husband's safety she called him.

"Bill I hope I haven't caught you too late," she said. "The news is reporting a car driving the wrong way down the interstate you use to come home. You ...

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar that he's a regular at, and sits at the bar. As the night goes on, he tries his luck with several ladies that come and go, but can't seem to close the deal. Meanwhile, he noticed a small, unremarkable man come in early in the evening, only to leave a short while later with a g...

A blond and a brunette was watching the news

Showing was a man standing on top of a tall building yelling that he's gona jump.

The brunette looks at the blond and says "I bet you 200 dollars that guy is gona jump"

The blond thinks for a few seconds and takes the bet.

A few seconds later the man jumps off the building and ...

Did you guys hear about the boy who got decapitated in a water slide incident?

On the plus side, everyone got to jump a head in line.

(Sorry for how terrible this joke is. I came up with it when the news story first hit like a year ago, but didn't think to post until recent news regarding the accident made me remember it.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un

I remember reading a news story about North Korean propaganda. One piece involved a lie Kim Jong Un told his people. In an effort to deceive the people into thinking he was a deity, he told them he never has to defecate. I remember reading that and thinking, "Wow, he is so full of shit."

How to play "Future You"

FUTURE YOU How to play "Future You" (You'll have to be over 25 to play this game) Go to a play park, or a fair ground or a school or anywhere you might find children. Find a child who looks enough like you. Go up to that child when they're alone and say "I am you from the future, those people are no...

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