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Media Jokes

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by their government and the media.

But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When social media bans female boobs, but not men's, it shows a real intolerance...

lactose intolerance.

I hate it when people confuse one social media for another

Edit: Thanks for the likes

My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?

Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "




Ps: This sub in a nutshell

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aliens are probably monitoring our media.

98% of the internet is porn. Maybe they're not giving us anal probes. They're just trying to speak our language.

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...

"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform.

Retweet if you agree.

What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major?

The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless.

It's crazy how many people are talking about the Oscars across all my social media feeds

Everything is popping up everywhere, all at once

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A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper

A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?" Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted,...

Scientists have determined the optimal age at which humans are able to safely start using social media:

123 years old.

What's Pinocchio's favorite social media app?

BeReal

80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!...

What do pimples and social media influencers have in common?

They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a nasty scar until one day we forget they were ever there.

That's all guys, bye.

Kanye West has decided to creat his own social media website

It will be called “Hear Ye, hear Ye”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

A media star's career will remain stable as long as they haven't done anything horrible. The star's career will collapse if at any point the weight of all the horrible things they have done overcomes the support of the public's positive perception of them and their importance as a cultural icon.

This is known as "Ellen Degeneracy pressure."

What do you call a large reptile who likes to stir up petty fights on social media?

An Insta-gator.

I was going to make a social media platform called "Please Try Again Later",

but I figured Reddit would sue me for copyright violation.

What is Thanos favourite social media?

Obviously Snapchat

I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector last night.

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

[FRONT PAGE!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/FGmbEOTVWQHzW/200_s.gif)

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

What social media platform do fetuses use?

discord

Damn Social media

Facebook wants to know "What's on my mind?"
Twitter wants to know "What's happening?"
Google wants to know "Where I am?"
Siri/Alexa wants me to "Say something"!
Damn, the internet is turning into an online wife!

There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer.

Isntagram.

According to state media, one of the Chinese Olympic torchbearers is part Uighur.

I believe they gave him a spleen or a kidney.

Russian media reports: 250 people protested today in Moscow

... out of which 1700 were arrested.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can't survive a slap from a newspaper.

This shows how toxic the media is.

Peng Shuai was asked in the interview how is her life in China after this media debacle ?

She said "can't complain"

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

How many media outlets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Outrage! as light socket forced into pairing with light bulb. "I just couldn't imagine this would be happening to me". Light socket is quoted as saying after the incident.


Pressure mounts on controversial home owner who refuses to rule out further forced bulb screw ins.


Associ...

Trump claims if he could walk on water, the fake news media would report:

"Trump can't swim"

What’s thanos’s favorite social media platform?

Snapchat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once photographed out partying whilst drunk, drugged up and looking very much worse for wear. The news media got hold of it and my picture was splashed across the tabloid papers with the headline "The Terrifying Effects of Substance Abuse".

When I first saw it, I went home and had a long hard look at myself in The Mirror.

And then in The Sun, The Daily Star and The Tribune. I thought to myself "Now that's fucking Rock 'n' Roll"

What’s it called when you are shadow banned by all social media and no one sees your posts?

A diary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever.

I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.

My doctor refuses to post my diagnosis to social media...

He says my disease is untweetable...

I'm starting a social media website for religious people with a lisp

Faithbook

Which social media platform vegans hate the most?

Google meet

whats the difference between a social media influencer and a bench??

one can support a family.

How come the media never says anything positive about trump?

Until today there was nothing to report.

What happens when a plant tries to add you on social media?

You get a fern request.

Trump has more impeachments than he does social media accounts.

This joke will never get old, ever.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which WiFi network do redditors use?

Virgin media

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 90 year old man wins the Powerball for 400 million dollars..

He arrives at the press conference, accepts his giant check and teary eyed with joy proceeds to take questions from the media storm. First reporter asks "What is your full name?" He replies his name is Ira Mandelbaum. Second reporter asks "What are you going to do now?" Ira replies "First, I am ...

What is Captain Hook's least favorite social media?

Tick tock.

What do you call a person who has flu but does not isolate themselves and is very active on social media?

Influen(zer)

Some actors are famous for playing the same role in multiple movies, but none so much as Lee Navarre.

Lee Navarre had starred in a couple of low budget films like Greta's Gallery and Fisherman Flanagan, but no one really took note of him till he was seen in the first movie of the mystery series "When Midnight Chimes". As we all know, it was an instant hit and Navarre gained a lot of critical acclaim...

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

We will never know because they’re too busy blaming the liberal media for the light bulb not working or conspiring to plant a faulty bulb.

A year ago,I tried to network around and create a group of guys with similar taste and do activities together.

For some reason, the prosecuting lawyer and media keep mentioning it as a ring.

A blond, a brunette and a redhead . . .

were in a breast stroke competition to cross the English Channel. They all dove in together on the shores of the UK. Across the Channel on the shores of France, the judges and media waited patiently.
After a few hours the redhead emerged from the waters to hearty cheers. About a half hour late...

what’s all this commotion in Israel?

i don’t know, the media is confusing. all I can tell is that the struggle isreal

A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils.

Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.


Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.

A man jumps into a lion's cage to save a 5 year old boy by punching the lion in the nose

Soon, reporters are on the scene.

"Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself"

"Well, I'm currently a stockbroker, but I got out of the Army only two years ago"

"What do you do for fun"

"I'm an avid fisherman, and I teach rifle safety classes for the NRA"

"Who...

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