This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

I'm seeing a lot of stuff on social media about how 'Blue Lives Matter'.

I reckon if someone's turned blue, it's a bit late to be debating whether or not their life matters anyway.

I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform.

Retweet if you agree.

I told my Dad I am going to delete all of my social media accounts, throw away my electronics and go live in the woods.

He told me I can't just Thoreau my life away.

I hate it when people confuse one social media for another

Edit: Thanks for the likes

I have a joke on media

but it won't cover anything important

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?

An influenzer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can't survive a slap from a newspaper.

This shows how toxic the media is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Johnson was sitting on a plane, waiting for it to take off, when one last person boarded the plane and sat down next to him. Mr. Johnson realized, much to his surprise and delight, that it was social media fitness star Michelle Lewin.

"This is amazing!" he said. "How lucky is it that I sit right next to one of the hottest women on social media?"

"I'm on my way to a fitness conference," said Michelle. "I'm going to tell my fellow women some of my best-kept secrets on getting and staying fit like me."

"Wow!" said Mr. ...

What is Mr Frog's favourite social media platform?

Reddit reddit. Reddit

going on social media these days is like going to church

after 5mins, I feel guilty af

So I see now the papers are having a go at the guy who marketed Jenga. Typical of the media.

They build them up and then they knock them down.

Seeing as how Mount St Helen's been all over social media...

I vote we change her name to Mount St Karen..as a warning for future generations

I asked my friend, “Hey, did you read that article about a social media platform that has some very toxic people, very questionable virtual communities, and people that come together to do amazing things?”

He replies: “Yeah, I Reddit.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When social media bans female boobs, but not men's, it shows a real intolerance...

lactose intolerance.

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Being on social media is like having sex

It's fun until you know your parents do it too

A woman who had no degree, achievements, or useful skills, except for being good looking, used to be known only as a trophy wife

today they're mostly known as social media influencers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do farmers and the media have in common?

They both spend a lot of time spreading shit.

If Thanos used social media, what platform would he use?

Snapchat

A Chinese-owned social media platform has been poisoning breath mints to accomplish their goals.

It's the TikTok tic tac tactic.

What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?

Instagrammar

What do you call an anti-vaxxer who’s big in social media?

An influenzar

If a were a serial killer I would kill my victims by sitting on their face until they suffocate

The media would call me the Assphyxiator

There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer.

Isntagram

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.

This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.


<...

What do you get when you cross a social media site with a Chinese investor?

[redacted]

The Dog Fight

The Israeli Dog vs. The Arab Dog

  
The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fi...

Today I read the noose found in Bubba Wallace’s garage wasn’t really a noose...

Fake Noose Media

Me - "Arab countries are so backward, there most of married girls can't even vote on Soacial Media polls without asking their husbands."

Friend - "That's not the truth, there is no such law Arab countries"
Me - "But you need to have a guardian permission to sign up into Social Media if you are less than 13 years old"

Mercilesss Followers

The worst thing abt government spying and following you on social media is that they never LIKE or RETWEET your post.....Y are they so Mercilesss............

Have you heard about the social media stars who are coughing and sick?

They're Instagram Influenzas

What did the French army general do on social media?

Retweet!

The blondes Convention

80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

T...

I’m thinking of starting a social media network for chickens.

Not as a full time job just a way to make hens meet.

Why is there so little media coverage of the amazon fire?

Big ROKU.
Wake up people!

At first, I thought my idea for a social media platform had failed

But then I made a 4chan.

I tried making an anti social media platform.

But it never went anywhere.

A cannibal had an unusual hobby.

He would save the extremities of bodies and use them to form works of art. The others began questioning him. "What's up with all these pictures made out of fingers and toes?" they asked. He responded, "Oh, I just really like working with digital media."

A 19-year-old teen had to be admitted after he became addicted to social media.

He’s currently being tweeted in hospital.

I hate how Shark Week tries to playoff Sharks as "gentle caring creatures that are misrepresented by the media".

It doesn't matter what they say, I'm still not voting to re-elect the president.

For a while now, I always wondered how my parents passed the time in the 80’s and 90’s without social media

I asked my 32 other siblings and they’ve got no idea either.

Media has brainwashed my 3yo son.

He thinks Pikachu is the strongest Pokemon.

Do not worry about the media lying to you all the time.

You'll get newsed to it.

What was internet medias' interpretation of the hawking effect and coronal mass ejections?

: "God rubbing one out".

Stop writing hateful things about Alabama and the abortion laws all over social media.

They likely can't read, we will need to tell them in person.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A criminal gets arrested. NSFW

After the arrest he is put into his usual cell. After entering the cell he greets everyone as he is familiar with all of them. After the greetings, he notices an unfamiliar guy sitting alone in the corner that he has never seen before.
"First time?" He asks. The stranger nods in agreement. "What ...

I'm not sure where all the racists are going to go when social media platforms kick them off

They can't all go to Congress

What's Forrest Gump's social media password?

1forrest1

The Archbishop of Canterbury

The Archbishop of Canterbury was making his first official visit to the U.S.A. His advisers advised him that he would need to be careful in answering any questions. As he disembarked from the plane a group of media reporters descended on him, and one thrust a microphone at him and said 'Say Archbish...

What do social media Influencers and perverts have in common?

They both think people want their exposure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The clitoris has over 8000 nerve endings

But it's still not as sensitive as a vegan on social media

My girlfriend is a social media expert.

She sent me a long message last month on why Twitter and Instagram are hands down the best Social Media apps.

But I only reddit now.

Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...

"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".

The media keeps trying to assassinate the character of Donald Trump and I think it is a waste of time...

You can't assassinate what isn't there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ryan Gosling went to live in Saudi Arabia for a year.

He and a local Saudi girl fell in love.

The girl would secretly sneak out of her house in the middle of the night without a male companion to hangout with Ryan. They would go to Ryan's place and make love for the whole night. Ryan would drop her back before the dawn. She would quietly sneak i...

As Covid19 winds down, another virus is spreading like wildfire

Covid19 may be winding down, but a brand new virus, the ID10t virus, is spreading like wildfire.
Symptoms of the ID10t virus include mental and comprehension issues. Symptoms include schitzophasia, a condition where words are misunderstood. A victim may hear or read a words like "baking soda" a...

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

Why does a chicken coup have two doors?

Because if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan.

(Some joke I posted on FB years ago before I understood the point of social media.)

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...

Critics are referring to it as proper gander.

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

I got a highly contagious viral infection from online communities.

It must be all those social media influenzas.

How can you spot the losers in a social media War?

They're the ones yelling, "Retweet! Retweet!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wrestling

The World Wrestling Championship was being held in the UP of Michigan, at the "Paper Clip Center' just outside UMPsville, between the 2 finalists, a American and a Russian. The Russian was known for his "Pretzel Hold". No man in history had got out of the Pretzel Hold. The Russian had won 1 bout and...

A bilingual joke! (English/Spanish)

A Spanish man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can't find what he's looking for and he doesn't know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, "Tienes calcetines?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is," the salesperson says...

What did the virus name it's social media account?

Influenceza

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lenin in Poland

The communist party of Poland decided to celebrate the anniversary of Lenin’s birth. They approached a famous painter and asked him for a painting titled “Lenin in Poland”. The painter hated communism, but he agreed to do it on the condition that he will have total artistic freedom and everyone will...

After binge watching CNN, fox, and msnbc - simultaneously - for nearly two days - a man decided he would hang himself in protest of the media's lack of integrity...

Thankfully was unsuccessful. The rope broke.

He probably would be dead right now if not for that fake noose.

I heard that social distancing is important now

*So

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