North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?

Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "




Ps: This sub in a nutshell

I'm starting a social media website for religious people with a lisp

Faithbook

What do you call a person who has flu but does not isolate themselves and is very active on social media?

Influen(zer)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once photographed out partying whilst drunk, drugged up and looking very much worse for wear. The news media got hold of it and my picture was splashed across the tabloid papers with the headline "The Terrifying Effects of Substance Abuse".

When I first saw it, I went home and had a long hard look at myself in The Mirror.

And then in The Sun, The Daily Star and The Tribune. I thought to myself "Now that's fucking Rock 'n' Roll"

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

Trump claims if he could walk on water, the fake news media would report:

"Trump can't swim"

I hate it when people confuse one social media for another

Edit: Thanks for the likes

I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform.

Retweet if you agree.

Trump has more impeachments than he does social media accounts.

This joke will never get old, ever.

My doctor refuses to post my diagnosis to social media...

He says my disease is untweetable...

Media : Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas broke up after nearly a year together.

Me : BenAna Split

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In light of „jewish“ space lasers

1939
A Jewish man was sitting in the New York Metro reading a german newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be in the same subway , noticed this strange phenomenon.
Very upset, he approached him and said:

'Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading a nazi newspaper?'...

What is Captain Hook’s least favorite social media site?

TikTok!

How come the media never says anything positive about trump?

Until today there was nothing to report.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

What did the media say about Kim Kardashian swimming

There's too much plastic in our oceans.

The media was quick to attack Trump's claim that "wind energy was killing all the birds", countering that cats kill way more birds than windmills...

I can't remember the last time I heard about a cat killing a windmill...

I'm seeing a lot of stuff on social media about how 'Blue Lives Matter'.

I reckon if someone's turned blue, it's a bit late to be debating whether or not their life matters anyway.

I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.

Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.

And it works. I already...

If social media were a thing in 1937

would people on the Hindenburg say:

"Here before this blows up."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When social media bans female boobs, but not men's, it shows a real intolerance...

lactose intolerance.

What do social media influencers call it when they begin sharing their insights on how they got to where they are today?

Thot Leadership.

What does mainstream media and viral video have in common?

It's all staged.

I told my Dad I am going to delete all of my social media accounts, throw away my electronics and go live in the woods.

He told me I can't just Thoreau my life away.

What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?

An influenzer.

I have a joke on media

but it won't cover anything important

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cockroaches And Media

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust, but can't survive a slap from newspaper

That's how toxic our media is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which WiFi network do redditors use?

Virgin media

A teen goes to a party one day.

He dances for a bit, then he decides to get some punch but sees the line is long so he goes back to dancing. He enters the line but sees the line is still long. So, he dances some more, grabs some food, and scrolls through social media. Eventually he enters the line again. Finally he says: "This pun...

A year ago,I tried to network around and create a group of guys with similar taste and do activities together.

For some reason, the prosecuting lawyer and media keep mentioning it as a ring.

Rabbit and Frog

One day a Rabbit and a Frog were hopping through the forest, when all of a sudden they bump into each other. They both apologise and exclaim that they are each blind. The Rabbit says that he has always been blind and doesn't actually know what he is. So the Frog said, that he has not always been...

going on social media these days is like going to church

after 5mins, I feel guilty af

So I see now the papers are having a go at the guy who marketed Jenga. Typical of the media.

They build them up and then they knock them down.

What is Mr Frog's favourite social media platform?

Reddit reddit. Reddit

Recently, Qanon members are being called Zs instead of Qs.

They are now blowing up Social Media saying “We are Not-Zs.”

Man on the mountain

One day on a nearby mountain a man stood atop it. He looked at the view and turned his pockets inside out. Powdered gold gushed out at amazing speed as he stood there.

Soon the media caught wind of this and went to investigate. After stuffing as many buckets of gold into their van as they cou...

I asked my friend, “Hey, did you read that article about a social media platform that has some very toxic people, very questionable virtual communities, and people that come together to do amazing things?”

He replies: “Yeah, I Reddit.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new drink has become the latest craze.

Bars are now serving the Dickens Cider, a popular drink among many women.
It started gaining popularity when someone decided to serve it warm, greatly improving its taste, with posts all over social media about how good it is, one video in particular having a lady drink 2 whole pints in one go!...

A couple of years ago Barry went hiking across Europe

But as time passed by he never returned home. His many friends tried contacting him in any way they could imagine, but his phone was disconnected, he wasn't active on his social media accounts anymore - it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Ultimately, everyone had forgotten a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Being on social media is like having sex

It's fun until you know your parents do it too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Johnson was sitting on a plane, waiting for it to take off, when one last person boarded the plane and sat down next to him. Mr. Johnson realized, much to his surprise and delight, that it was social media fitness star Michelle Lewin.

"This is amazing!" he said. "How lucky is it that I sit right next to one of the hottest women on social media?"

"I'm on my way to a fitness conference," said Michelle. "I'm going to tell my fellow women some of my best-kept secrets on getting and staying fit like me."

"Wow!" said Mr. ...

Seeing as how Mount St Helen's been all over social media...

I vote we change her name to Mount St Karen..as a warning for future generations

The amount of advertising on social media is super surprising.

What’s not surprising? How much money you can save with GEICO Renters Insurance.

A Chinese-owned social media platform has been poisoning breath mints to accomplish their goals.

It's the TikTok tic tac tactic.

There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer.

Isntagram

If Thanos used social media, what platform would he use?

Snapchat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do farmers and the media have in common?

They both spend a lot of time spreading shit.

Me - "Arab countries are so backward, there most of married girls can't even vote on Soacial Media polls without asking their husbands."

Friend - "That's not the truth, there is no such law Arab countries"
Me - "But you need to have a guardian permission to sign up into Social Media if you are less than 13 years old"

What do you call an anti-vaxxer who’s big in social media?

An influenzar

What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?

Instagrammar

What do you get when you cross a social media site with a Chinese investor?

[redacted]

What did the French army general do on social media?

Retweet!

Just saw a fight between a basketball player and a YouTuber...

Don't listen to the media. The basketball player will win in the courts.

Cardi B was hosting a private pool party...

With music bumping, and social media blowing up with post about where it was, tons of fans were trying to get in, but bouncers turned them all away unless Cardi B gave approval herself.

As the party reached its peak, screams started coming from the pool and everyone rushed out getting water ...

Have you heard about the social media stars who are coughing and sick?

They're Instagram Influenzas

It's appalling that despite advances in Science, the constant media circus has made us insensitive to the fact that every minute...

Sixty seconds pass away

A woman who had no degree, achievements, or useful skills, except for being good looking, used to be known only as a trophy wife

today they're mostly known as social media influencers

For a while now, I always wondered how my parents passed the time in the 80’s and 90’s without social media

I asked my 32 other siblings and they’ve got no idea either.

I’m thinking of starting a social media network for chickens.

Not as a full time job just a way to make hens meet.

I've been transferred to Baltimore...

Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear.

"What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"

"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are te...

I tried making an anti social media platform.

But it never went anywhere.

Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...

"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".

A group of Franciscan Monks arrived at the front of the Playboy Mansion

They all started setting up shops. One by one, they would close down, and the only carts that remained sold flowers.

The police and the media started to show up, amazed that the monks were able to sell flowers on the Playboy Mansion front steps. Passers by would buy a rose, and pass the house...

A 19-year-old teen had to be admitted after he became addicted to social media.

He’s currently being tweeted in hospital.

At first, I thought my idea for a social media platform had failed

But then I made a 4chan.

I head into my office to print something out, but the printer is out of paper...

I got some paper to refill it, and that's when I noticed something interesting. The paper company was advertising it's social media accounts... I wondered what the Paper Company was doing with an Instagram account so I decided to check them out. Turns out a large percentage of their posts were about...

Media has brainwashed my 3yo son.

He thinks Pikachu is the strongest Pokemon.

Stop writing hateful things about Alabama and the abortion laws all over social media.

They likely can't read, we will need to tell them in person.

I'm not sure where all the racists are going to go when social media platforms kick them off

They can't all go to Congress

Today I saw perfect example of playing safe .

US Media posting the count of Trump's lies after he lost the elections.

If you ever feel useless, just remember.....

Donald Trump has a social media advisor

I hate how Shark Week tries to playoff Sharks as "gentle caring creatures that are misrepresented by the media".

It doesn't matter what they say, I'm still not voting to re-elect the president.

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.

This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.


<...

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

Do not worry about the media lying to you all the time.

You'll get newsed to it.

Irish

Being upset that the world is making jokes about them.. the Irish government decided to launch a massive campaign to show the world that they are not actually simple...

So they announced a media conference telling the world that they will send a rocket onto the sun.....

Someone asked i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope is in his garden one day

Suddenly, he is overwhelmed with urges and starts to jerk off. Just as he finishes, he notices someone watching him from behind a tree. He shouts "Who is there? Come out now!"

A journalist with a camera comes out from behind the tree and says "I saw what you were doing and I took some picture...

What's Forrest Gump's social media password?

1forrest1

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

What was internet medias' interpretation of the hawking effect and coronal mass ejections?

: "God rubbing one out".

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

What do you call an inventory list of to-be-shredded media?

A shredsheet

My girlfriend is a social media expert.

She sent me a long message last month on why Twitter and Instagram are hands down the best Social Media apps.

But I only reddit now.

What do social media Influencers and perverts have in common?

They both think people want their exposure.

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

The media keeps trying to assassinate the character of Donald Trump and I think it is a waste of time...

You can't assassinate what isn't there.

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