North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

My 6yo sister asked me to post this joke on social media.. (Don’t be too harsh)

What was Billy doing in class??

He was billy dancing.

How many media outlets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Outrage! as light socket forced into pairing with light bulb. "I just couldn't imagine this would be happening to me". Light socket is quoted as saying after the incident.


Pressure mounts on controversial home owner who refuses to rule out further forced bulb screw ins.


Associ...

What social media does Captain hook hate?

Tik-tok

What did anti-physics people in the 17th century call Issac Newton when he was presenting the laws of motion through the media?

Big F=ma

A lot of new social media sites are like some of the jokes on this sub:

Smaller, more condensed and ultimately worse than the original they ripped off

My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?

Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "




Ps: This sub in a nutshell

How can you tell the difference between a cop and a social media influencer?

The influencer HAS TO tell you their job.

Which social media platform vegans hate the most?

Google meet

What is Captain Hook's least favorite social media?

Tick tock.

whats the difference between a social media influencer and a bench??

one can support a family.

The governor of Florida had enough

The governor of Florida had enough of the Florida jokes. It was affecting their tourism and he was always made fun of at the annual governor softball tournament. He sat in his office all day and thought of ways how to change this.

One day, the governor of Alabama called. It was a social call...

I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform.

Retweet if you agree.

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When social media bans female boobs, but not men's, it shows a real intolerance...

lactose intolerance.

I hate it when people confuse one social media for another

Edit: Thanks for the likes

I'm starting a social media website for religious people with a lisp

Faithbook

I bought a book about social media

but i never reddit

What happens when a plant tries to add you on social media?

You get a fern request.

What do you call a person who has flu but does not isolate themselves and is very active on social media?

Influen(zer)

My doctor refuses to post my diagnosis to social media...

He says my disease is untweetable...

One of my joints is an giant international media conglomerate.

Which one?

Dis knee.

Trump has more impeachments than he does social media accounts.

This joke will never get old, ever.

Trump claims if he could walk on water, the fake news media would report:

"Trump can't swim"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

How come the media never says anything positive about trump?

Until today there was nothing to report.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was once photographed out partying whilst drunk, drugged up and looking very much worse for wear. The news media got hold of it and my picture was splashed across the tabloid papers with the headline "The Terrifying Effects of Substance Abuse".

When I first saw it, I went home and had a long hard look at myself in The Mirror.

And then in The Sun, The Daily Star and The Tribune. I thought to myself "Now that's fucking Rock 'n' Roll"

Why shouldn’t you recommend a book to a social media user?

Because they have probably already Reddit

I see a lot of social media bios that say “retired athlete”...

...which basically means “never went pro”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife treats me like a president

It mostly means she hides her tax money from me and talks shit about me on social media.

I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.

Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.

And it works. I already...

What did the media say about Kim Kardashian swimming

There's too much plastic in our oceans.

Thanks to the ubiquity of social media, mobile devices, and the advent of AI, we have the resources we need to upgrade security cameras to the next level ...

Insecurity cameras.

All my social media apps and people I know keep telling me to vote...

I’ve probably cast like 40 ballots by now, and they STILL won’t stop telling me to do it!

The media was quick to attack Trump's claim that "wind energy was killing all the birds", countering that cats kill way more birds than windmills...

I can't remember the last time I heard about a cat killing a windmill...

Hacker sent me an email that he has hacked into my computer.

I said "prove it" and he sent me the username and password of my email, bank and social media accounts.

I replied "Thank you, that was the easiest Forgot Password process I have ever come across".

What do social media influencers call it when they begin sharing their insights on how they got to where they are today?

Thot Leadership.

If social media were a thing in 1937

would people on the Hindenburg say:

"Here before this blows up."

I told my Dad I am going to delete all of my social media accounts, throw away my electronics and go live in the woods.

He told me I can't just Thoreau my life away.

What does mainstream media and viral video have in common?

It's all staged.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cockroaches And Media

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust, but can't survive a slap from newspaper

That's how toxic our media is.

So I see now the papers are having a go at the guy who marketed Jenga. Typical of the media.

They build them up and then they knock them down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading the Tehran Times

A friend sees him and says, "Oy, Moishe! How can you read that rag? Don't you know the things they say about us?"

To which the man replies, "Well, I used to read to read the Jewish papers, but they're so depressing. Every headline is 'Jews Being Persecuted!' 'Jews Living in Poverty!' 'Jews Be...

The Chinese Premier, along with the South Korean and Indonesia President Went to See God

In 1975, Zhou Enlai, Park Chung-hee, and Suharto came before God to ask a question.

Zhou Enlai went first: "God, when will my country become prosperous?"

God replied: "30 more years".

Zhou Enlai wept because he knew he will never see it in his lifetime. Indeed, he would pass awa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In light of „jewish“ space lasers

1939
A Jewish man was sitting in the New York Metro reading a german newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be in the same subway , noticed this strange phenomenon.
Very upset, he approached him and said:

'Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading a nazi newspaper?'...

Ending it all

Brad was sick of the World, of Covid-19, those who hate China, global warming, species extinction, racial tension and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage at home, carefully sealed up around the windows and doorways of his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elizabeth Taylor goes in to get her vagina reconditioned.

Elizabeth : Dr. I want to have the vagina of an 18 year old.

Dr. : Ok that can be done.

Elizabeth: Ok but please, ABSOLUTELY NO PAPARAZZI or MEDIA involvement!

Dr. : Of course, it will be completely confidential.


The surgery occurs with no complications. in f...

I asked my friend, “Hey, did you read that article about a social media platform that has some very toxic people, very questionable virtual communities, and people that come together to do amazing things?”

He replies: “Yeah, I Reddit.”

There's a new social media platform where people can take pictures of how they've been conned by their coke dealer.

Isntagram

What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?

An influenzer.

I have a joke on media

but it won't cover anything important

going on social media these days is like going to church

after 5mins, I feel guilty af

A Chinese-owned social media platform has been poisoning breath mints to accomplish their goals.

It's the TikTok tic tac tactic.

A Blonde is very upset at people stereotyping blondes, so she organises a blonde convention. Over 50,000 blondes attend.

The leader stands on a stage and says,
"Us blondes have always been misrepresented by the media and we have always been stereotyped. We are here today to prove us blondes aren't dumb! Now may I have a volunteer?"

A blonde steps onto the stage.

"What is ten divided by two?"

Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Being on social media is like having sex

It's fun until you know your parents do it too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do farmers and the media have in common?

They both spend a lot of time spreading shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Johnson was sitting on a plane, waiting for it to take off, when one last person boarded the plane and sat down next to him. Mr. Johnson realized, much to his surprise and delight, that it was social media fitness star Michelle Lewin.

"This is amazing!" he said. "How lucky is it that I sit right next to one of the hottest women on social media?"

"I'm on my way to a fitness conference," said Michelle. "I'm going to tell my fellow women some of my best-kept secrets on getting and staying fit like me."

"Wow!" said Mr. ...

What do you call an anti-vaxxer who’s big in social media?

An influenzar

What do you get when you cross a social media site with a Chinese investor?

[redacted]

Seeing as how Mount St Helen's been all over social media...

I vote we change her name to Mount St Karen..as a warning for future generations

The amount of advertising on social media is super surprising.

What’s not surprising? How much money you can save with GEICO Renters Insurance.

Breaking News: In a press media briefing, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has stated...

"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".

Boris turns to his friend Sergei and says, “I see you have been doing the Instagram and Twitters.”

Yes, I’ve gotten quite good. I am what you call a Socialist, no?” Replies Sergei.
“Sergei no, no. That is not Socialist. Soci-“
Sergei interrupted “Yes I am going professional on social media’s. I am Socialist.”
“Yes, your on the Twitter and Instagrams.” Reassured Boris.
Yes, Sergei nodd...

What did the French army general do on social media?

Retweet!

Me - "Arab countries are so backward, there most of married girls can't even vote on Soacial Media polls without asking their husbands."

Friend - "That's not the truth, there is no such law Arab countries"
Me - "But you need to have a guardian permission to sign up into Social Media if you are less than 13 years old"

Have you heard about the social media stars who are coughing and sick?

They're Instagram Influenzas

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.

I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you ...

What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?

Instagrammar

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

I’m thinking of starting a social media network for chickens.

Not as a full time job just a way to make hens meet.

It's appalling that despite advances in Science, the constant media circus has made us insensitive to the fact that every minute...

Sixty seconds pass away

For a while now, I always wondered how my parents passed the time in the 80’s and 90’s without social media

I asked my 32 other siblings and they’ve got no idea either.

Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

What's the opposite of social media?

Social life.

A 19-year-old teen had to be admitted after he became addicted to social media.

He’s currently being tweeted in hospital.

Stop writing hateful things about Alabama and the abortion laws all over social media.

They likely can't read, we will need to tell them in person.

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

what’s all this commotion in Israel?

i don’t know, the media is confusing. all I can tell is that the struggle isreal

I hate how Shark Week tries to playoff Sharks as "gentle caring creatures that are misrepresented by the media".

It doesn't matter what they say, I'm still not voting to re-elect the president.

I'm not sure where all the racists are going to go when social media platforms kick them off

They can't all go to Congress

I tried making an anti social media platform.

But it never went anywhere.

My girlfriend is a social media expert.

She sent me a long message last month on why Twitter and Instagram are hands down the best Social Media apps.

But I only reddit now.

A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils.

Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.


Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.