A Wikipedia editor is pulled over for speeding

\[citation needed\]

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The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible...

I'm sad as a coconut.



Due to popular demand, **EDIT**: metaphors*... Freakin' grammar nazis... On a second thought, maybe grammar also played a role in my rejection, who knows...

Why was a Buzzfeed editor found dead in a bathroom?

Number 2 shocked him.

An emo became a perfect film editor

he made very accurate cuts

What made you become an editor?

“Well to cut a long story short......”

I applied to get a job as a video editor.

Didn’t make the final cut.

What do you call a blind editor?

A grammar not-see.

What did the erotic novel author get from his editor?

Sticky notes.

What did he get from his publisher?

A hard copy.

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I used to be a XXX movie editor but got fired.

My boss walked by my desk one day and I wasn't watching porn on my computer.

My audio editor keeps shutting down unexpectedly while I'm working.

The Audacity.

What does an editor do in Eastern Europe?

They Czech for errors.

She claimed to be a copy editor

but she had no proof.

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A joke about an old man in an isolated village

A newspaper editor goes to an isolated mounatin village in order to write an article. He wants to know more about life up here so he interviews an old man.
"Please tell me a funny story I could include in my article"
"Well,"says the man"One day one of my neighbour's goats got lost in the mou...

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If I was the editor of a magazine, I would put gametes on the cover

Because sex cells.

A man writes an OP-ED for his local newspaper.

He goes into great detail explaining why everyone in his town is an idiot and they are ugly too.

Unsurprisingly, it gets a VERY strong reaction. People hate him!

So the next week he calls up his local paper and asks them to publish his OP-ED again in the next week's paper.

th...

I don't think I'm well-suited for this job as a newspaper editor.

Even my blood is a Type O!

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

She was upset when the Sunday puzzle's clues were wrong

She called the newspaper's editor, and had cross words with him

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A reporter visits a small town in Siberia

He interviews the mayor and says: “So tell me a happy story about your people that I can report back to my editors. You know, something you guys are famous for.”

“Oh oh, I know one. So there is this mountain nearby, and anytime something gets lost on the mountain like my neighbor’s goat did o...

Being a writer is enjoyable...

But the job of editor is more rewording.

John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced colo...

Twin sisters just turned 100 years old

Twin sisters just turned one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter," told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin bitteys.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could h...

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Texas Chili Cook Off

Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to th...

2,003 pigs

It’s a small town and not much happens most days, so the town newspaper prints pretty much every little story. But the editor just can’t believe it one day when the new farmer down the road says that his truck ran into a ditch and killed 2,003 pigs. He sends his reporter out to the farm to check it...

Scottish Obituary

A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the Obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The Editor informs her that there is a charge of one dollar per word.
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well then, let it read: 'Fred Brown died.' "
Amused at the Woma...

Retraction

The following headline appeared in the daily newspaper and threw the city hall into an uproar: "Half the city council are crooks."

A retraction in full was demanded of the editor under the threat of a libel suit. Next afternoon, the headline read, "Half the city council aren't crooks."

I have never seen my all time favorite joke here, so I will submit relatively original content, enjoy!

There was a newspaper in a very small Midwestern farming town, comes out once a week with local news like the new library books, or the preachers sermon, and school fundraisers. One day the editor calls the reporter in and says, "I don't know what to do about the next issue. There isn't a damn thin...

An Old Scottish Couple

Once there was a couple in the far north of Scotland named Angus and Edith. They were married for nearly sixty years until Angus fell ill. Knowing he was not long for this world, Angus told his wife "Edith, when I die, I want nothing special. Just a funeral as simple as can be without any big thing ...

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ADVICE FROM RON - A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is
important for men to remember that, as women
grow older, it becomes harder for them to
maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
when they were younger. When you notice
this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitiv...

Stallman, Torvalds and Knuth have a conversation.

Richard M. Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald E. Knuth
engage in a discussion on whose impact
on the computerized world was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told *me* that I have programmed the best operating sy...

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A redneck walks into a bar... [WARNING: HIGHLY OFFENSIVE]

[Editor's note: Heard this one from my uncle who lives in Mississippi. Politically correct types should move on without continuing to read. Seriously. You've been warned.]

So this good ol' boy walks into a bar in East Texas and there's an African-American gentleman tending bar. The good ol' b...

Bob's Nails.

Bob made metal nails for all need and uses. For woodworking or construction, his nails where the best and he wanted to make a TV commercial to promote them.

So he went to a studio to get his commercial made. There he gave an idea of how he wanted his commercial "I want it to be epic and persu...

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A young reporter goes looking for a story...

An ambitious young TV reporter went to a small town, looking to get an interesting story for her editor. So she went to the mayor, and with the camera rolling, she asked him "anything exciting happen around here?"

"Well, last month this hot young woman got lost in the woods, so 100 of the tow...

Surf's up?

A Californian surfer visiting Australia was having a good time catching the breakers at resorts along the Gold Coast, but wanted a special experience. He wanted to surf a beach where nobody, or almost nobody, goes.

So he gets in the car, drives north. At the first remote beach he hits, he has...

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A reporter goes into a village...

... for a newspaper interview. Once there, he asks around and the people direct him toward an elderly that was laying in front of his house who supposedly had been through many experiences. The journalist then meet the old man and ask him to tell him a story that he would publish in the next newspap...

The Glorious Leader visits a pig farm

Kim Jong-Un visits a pig farm and has the obligatory propaganda photo taken.

Later, three editors for the Pyongyang Times are facing the task of finding an appropriate caption.
#1: "How about 'The Glorious Leader among pigs'?"
#2: "Are you mad? That could cost us our heads!"
#3: "How...