What's red, black, white and can't go through doors?

A nun with a spear through her head.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth"

the woman told her dentist. He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

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Two sailors are on shore leave. They have a few drinks and decide to go to a variety show. At the intermission one of them needs to pee and asks directions from the usher. “Go through the exit, turn left along the corridor, turn first right, then left, then right again,” he says.

The sailor follows the directions with some difficulty, relieves himself, and eventually finds his way back to his seat. “You missed the best act,” says his friend. “While you were gone a sailor came on-stage and pissed into the orchestra pit.”

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When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.

Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.

And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"

"Well," says the first nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger." ...

"Honey we gotta go through these clothes, keep or throw?"

"Dave, I've been trying to tell you-"

"Keep or throw?"

"Dave, please let me fini-"

"KEEP or THROW!"

"I'm pregnant."

"..... Keep or throw?"

Little Johnny's school is having a day where they honor the military, and Johnny's class is going through a worksheet.

They go through the answers to the final question,

"What are things that a teacher and a soilder can say?"

The teacher picks Caitlyn first for an answer.

Caitlyn says, "Today, we are going to learn how to fly drones!"

The teacher responds, "Excellent! Drones allow soldie...

Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?

A reboot.

It was significantly more dangerous to go through child birth than to be in a car crash in the 1800s.

Mainly because they didn't have cars back then.

What do depressed teenagers go through everyday?

Pain and Acne

What was the name of King Arthur's faithful sidekick who would go through the castle in the evening reading stories and tucking everyone else into bed?

Knighty Knight

A photon tries to go through airport security fast, but is stopped. "Don't you have any luggage" asks the security agent.

The photon replies. "No I'm travelling light".

Woman walked to her office every weekday and she had to go through a cemetery.

Woman walked to her office every weekday and she had to go through a cemetery to get there.

One day she had to stay late in the office to finish some work and by the time she was ready go home it was already dark outside.

She started to walk home, and as she reached the entrance to t...

I wonder what was the last thing to go through the Donner Party’s minds

I guess a fork

How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

Why did the blonde go through a hole bottle of shampoo while taking a shower?

The directions said lather,rinse,repeat.

The husband has to go through inspection. He asks his blonde wife to see if the rear blinkers work...

Yes!

.

.

.

.

.








No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes!

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What’s the last thing to go through a bugs head when it hits your windshield?

Their ass.

Saint Peter is seeing all of the new arrivals trying to go through the pearly gates in Heaven.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.

"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.

Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.I knew she was into so...

If I go through the trouble of making you breakfast in bed, all I ask for is a simple thank you.

Not all this "how did you get in my house" nonsense.

Maccas will give you a free happy meal and $134.50 if you go through the drive through dressed as a clown...

With a gun

What happened when the fly tried to go through the screen door?

He strained himself.

Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways

going to Bangkok.

I ride share to work regularly, but if I'm in the backseat when we go through a tunnel I have a massive anxiety attack.

My doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

My English teacher assigned me 10 stories to go through...

so I went sky diving. I went through 10 stories in 2 seconds!

Every time I go through a fast food window

They hand me my food and say “sorry about the weight.” I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.

All children go through a phase of saying "no" to everything.

For german children it's the age of "nein".

How to go through intersection in a tank

1) Approach intersection

2) Check if there is another tank coming

3) Proceed

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You know the Middle East is about to go through a serious shitstorm when...

...commercial Oil tankers are attacked.

A man is driving to a big city, but he has to go through a desert. [Long]

His car beaks down on the way and he realizes there is no way for him to fix it. He starts to walk when he sees a snake rise out of a hole. The snake speaks to him.

“I see you are tired. I will grant you three wishes. The first is free, but the second comes with secrecy and the third with a f...

I get all of my condoms at Costco because when you go through them like I do...

... you need to get them at a place with a good return policy.

I have a weird mental health issue where I have to get out and pull my car every time I go through a tunnel.

It's car-pull tunnel syndrome.

*Early semester* Teacher: We'll go through this topic in detail in later classes

*Later into semester* Teacher: I remember going through this topic in earlier classes so I'm going to skip it.
Students: wtf?

If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly

You don't want to hire anyone unlucky

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One day a brunette, a redhead and a blonde decide to go through their daughter's purses.

The brunette goes through her daughter's purse and finds cigarettes. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My Daughter smokes!" So, the redhead goes through her daughter's purse and finds an empty can of beer. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My daughter drinks!" So, finally, it's the blonde's ...

What does a male duck go through during puberty?

Voice quacks!

If you go through a toll in Death Valley...

Can it be called a death toll?

My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.

I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.

As a gentleman, I always hold the door open for the ladies and let them go through first

You never know where there might be a sniper hiding

What does a polar bear need to go through to publish a book ?

The seal of approbation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone has 3 stages they will go through

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hangi...

I go through my liquor like I go through women.

Sober now for 28 years!

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My Girlfriends asked me why the Body cells go through Meiosis and why her textbook sexualized them.

I replied "Sex Cells."

After some thinking i decided not to go through with the brain transplant

But then, i changed my mind

"Let's go through it bit by bit"

Said Jack the Ripper

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