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A rabbit goes for a run through the forest

As he’s running a cones across a possum about to light up a joint. The rabbit says, “Oh no! Mr. Possum! Don’t do that! It’s so bad for you. Come running with me and stay healthy!” The possum looks at his joint and decides they the rabbit is right and he needs to get healthy. So off they go for a run...

Why Can't You Run Through A Campground

You can only "ran" because it's past tents.

Why does the river Clyde run through Glasgow?

If it walked, it would get stabbed

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One day a small rabbit was taking a run through the forest.

As he was running he came upon a giraffe. This giraffe was about to shoot up some heroin. The rabbit looked at he giraffe for a moment and then said, "Giraffe, don't do heroin. Heroin is a drug, and drugs are bad for you. Come running with me through the forest."
The giraffe looked at the rabbit,...

What do you call getting run through with a spiked pole?

A very painful ex-spear-ience.

After a terrible night, two professors have to run through campus while naked...

As they run, the first guy covers his genitals and the second covers his face. The first guy asks the second, "Are you not ashamed of your indecency?"

The second guy responds, "Yeah... But, I don't know about you, but more people recognize me by my face than by my genitals"

My friend told me that he could create a biological electric current to run through a capacitor.

I said, "weird flux but ok."

A rabbit on a run through the forest.

So there's this rabbit running through the forest. After a few minutes he comes across a fox who's about to light up a joint. The rabbit kicks the joint from the fox's mouth, saying: "That's bad for your health, you're better off if you join me on my run!" So the fox says, "You're right!" and joins ...

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So, Mr Rabbit is going for a run through the woods. . .

. . . When he comes upon a clearing with a weasel about to light a joint in it. "Oh Mr. Weasel, that's not good. You should come running with me! It's MUCH more fun!" Said Mr. Rabbit. The weasel takes one last look at the joint, and says "Eh, screw it", throws it away, and goes running with Mr. Rabb...

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Rabbit is running through the forest

He finds giraffe about to smoke a joint. He says,
“Giraffe, don’t do drugs! Come run through the forest with me!”
Giraffe throws away his weed and follows rabbit running through the forest. They come across lion about to do a rail of cocaine. Rabbit says,
“Lion, don’t do drugs! Come run thr...

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A rabbit is running through the steppe when he meets a giraffe which is rolling a joint.

"No giraffe, you don't have to smoke that. Just come running with me!", it says to the giraffe. After thinking a few seconds, the giraffe happily joins the rabbit.

After a while they meet an elephant which is about to sniff some cocain. "No elephant, you don't have to sniff that. Just come ru...

Not all rivers run through Paris

Just Seine

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A rabbit is running around the woods

When he encounters and elephant, who was just about to light a joint.

The rabbit yells: "No!! Are you seriously gonna throw your life away like that? Come run with me, that's way more healthy!!"

So the elephant starts running with the rabbit, they run through the woods until they enco...

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods

This is going on for weeks. Every day they run through the same clearing until one day they kick over a mound of dirt and uncover a genie’s lamp.

The genie pops out of his lamp and says “I’ve been listening to you two running through this forest for weeks now! I will grant both of you 3 wishe...

A fitness freak is out for a run one day. She's having a great run, tunes playing through her ear buds, sun shining.

As she sprints blissfully across a road, a massive truck ploughs into her.

The next thing she's aware of is she's standing in a shiny, beautiful place and inately realises, this must be Heaven.

Sure enough, an angel approaches her and tells her, yes she's now in Heaven and gives her a ...

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A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink

The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.

The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some k...

A few bananas are planning a heist

Right before they leap into action, they decide to run through the process again so all bananas know what they're doing.

Firstly, two bananas will be creating a distraction a distance away from the heist. Then, the rest of the bananas will scatter to confuse the enemy and start the heist.
...

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Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

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During the Vietnam war many men were being drafted

One man was young and in good shape but he didn’t want to fight in the war. He hid in his house for a long time. One day he decided he had to go out side. He was sick of being stuck in that house. He walks outside down the block and all of the sudden a military vehicle turns around the corner. It s...

An old man lies on his deathbed. The end is near and family is gathering.

His memories run through his head as he lies alone while people talk in the other room. Sad things, joyful things. So many joyful memories. He thinks he smells his favorite cookies baking. Wait, the smell is real! His wife is making cookies, something she has not done for years!

He rall...

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Robotic Arm

A man's (lets call him John) arm is mangled in an accident and needs to have it amputated.

The doctors fit John with a new high tech robotic arm that is voice activated. The doctor has John run through some tests by placing a pen on the table on front of him and having him tell the arm to ...

The Senate committee just released a report about the Cold War.

They found that in response to Sesame Street promoting friendship, racial equality, and care, the CIA captured the Count and forced him to run through truckloads of rice.

How to get 10 million followers instantly

Take a water bottle and run through Africa

A man was driving his car when he saw a three-legged chicken dart across the road at an incredible speed...

Intrigued, he slammed his brakes and watched the chicken run to a farm so fast he couldn't believe it.

The man quickly turned into the farm's driveway and drove to the farmhouse. Upon reaching it the farmer emerged and asked, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Did you see a three-legged ...

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WW1 as a bar fight...

Serbia is walking across the bar with a beer in his hand. He bumps into Austria, and spills some beer on his pant leg. Austria is furious, and demands Serbia pay for an entire suit. Serbia can't afford this, so he offers to pay for the dry cleaning.

They argue, Russia tells Austria to back o...

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The Twelve Thank-You Notes of Christmas

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes

December 15th

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gi...

Old Age Fun

Told to me by my 80 year old mother. Elizabeth and Gladys were stuck in an older folks home and bored to tears. So they decided to have a little fun and excitement. They go into the closet and strip naked. Then they run through the card room were two old fellas are playing cards. Tom saids to ...

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