UPJOKE
makegetgainpayclearacquirewinreceivequalifycollectlosespendgarnerrealizebring in

Earning Jokes

I am earning 5,000 monthly

Last month I received 7,000 and I kept quiet.

This month I got 3,000 so I went to HR to complain.

HR asked "why didn't you complain when you received extra last month?"

I replied "I will normally forgive the first mistake, but I can't tolerate the second."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like to give a percentage of my earnings to Charity....

......and other strippers.

I've just accidentally let slip to the family that I lied about earning my biology degree.

Me and my big face-hole thingy.

After earning his DDS; a dentist went and opened up his own practice.

He became widely known for his amazing skills, and was highly praised + recommended by every patient he ever had. One year; he was nominated for (and won) a prestigious medical award. Inscribed upon its ornate surface was his name and the specific honor: “Global Recognition of Outstanding Surgical S...

If you're mad about people receiving forgiveness, without earning it

I have some terrible news about Jesus

I’m a good man. I give about 50% of my earnings to Charity.

Except for when she’s not working…Then I give it to Destiny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist...

I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.

So I am already busy earning my second million.

Because earning the first million failed

When I was young, losing teeth would earn me money.

Now I'm old, earning money will gain me teeth.

The UK just passed a law so that corporations have to post earnings statements in public spaces to be accessible, like in parks, metro stations, high-density residential areas...

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

How do you make a small fortune after earning a degree in political science?

Start with a large fortune and know when to stop.

At an interview: “In the beginning, you’ll be earning 20 000, later on it can go up to 40 000.”

“OK, I’ll come again later then.”

Why did the woman wear condom earnings?

So she wouldn’t get hearing aids

Wife just got out the shower...

The husband is hopping into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the door-bell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Bob looks a bit flustered from seeing her in the to...

A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.

His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.

The te...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctors' this morning...

"It's my testicles, doctor." I told her. "One of them isn't normal."

"Excuse me?" She said, rather abruptly. "Are these your certificates on the wall? Did you spend the best part of a decade earning a medical degree? Is that your name on this office door? Are YOU a doctor?"


"Err, n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Twenty Dollats

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for her virginity. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was aCute way for her to afford ne...

Finding 5 dollars on the street makes your whole week.

But earning 5 dollars on the street makes your hole weak.

Son asks his father for a gift

Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday

Dad: - What do you want Son

Son: - I need a Bitcoin

Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.