What do you call a seal with net electrical charge?

A sea lion

Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

I made a joke about net neutrality

Americans didn't get it.

If I had a $ for every post I've seen today about Net Neutrality...

I'd have enough money to view a post next year about Net Neutrality.

When I see lovers' nαmes cαrved in α tree, I don't think it's sweet.

I just think it's surprising how mαny people bring a knife on a dαte.

EDIT I removed comments with α since some of you didn't like it.

Also this is an old joke . Look some posts from several years ago. https://twitter.com/biiimurray/status/361654153811996672.

http://www.su...

If Kyrie Irving goes to the Nets

Does he get a New Jersey?

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."




The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50




The ...

When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth

He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.

What happened when a fisherman saw that they spent more on missing fishing equipment than they made selling fish?

They realized a net loss.

You really ought to hear this joke about Net Neutrality now.

Or you'll pay for it later.

Career Choices

As a child, I thought about being a musician, but all my efforts fell flat.

In High School, my teachers seemed to be pushing a career as an astronaut, but then I realized they had something else in mind when they said I was “a real space cadet.”


My first job was working in an ora...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex Therapy for the Elderly !

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist’s office.



The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”



The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”



The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderl...

With the outrage regarding the repeal of Net Neutrality, it is important to remember that there are two sides to this issue.

The outraged side,

And the uninformed.

80% of Americans want net neutrality

The other 20% are dead

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act (same but different)

Somewhere out deep on an Alabama lake there's a **R**edneck lighting sticks of dynamite and tossing them into the water. After each tremendous explosion, he grabs his net and pulls the dead fish into his boat. Before too long, the **G**ame **W**arden races out, lights and sirens blaring and screamin...

What's the best thing about net neutrality jokes?

Not everyone gets them.

Scientists annoy me, they’re always going on about Boyle’s Law and Archimedes’ Law.

One came up to me and said: “If you had an apple which experiences no net force, then its velocity is constant: the apple is either at rest, or it moves in a straight line with constant speed – Newton’s Law”

So I said “Here’s one for you: If you have an apple, a carrot, a cabbage, mayonnaise ...

I dont understand all the worry about net neutrality, because

[Please make a £100 donation to AT&T for completion of this joke]

Have you heard about the guy who wants to repeal net neutrality?

What a piece Ajit.

With Net Neutrality gone I’m finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won’t be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

Foolproof: How I became a billionnaire in just 15 days. You can do it too.

When my wife and I got married we only got 0.50$ of combined wealth.

I was wandering around in the fruit market in desperation, that was when I saw an apple for 50 cents. I was so hungry that I spent our 50 cents in a blink of an eye. On one apple.

But then it hit me: What have I done?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock, a net, and two rackets!

Bad Minton!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s No Nut November and we’re accepting bets until 11/11.

“Step right up and ‘come’ on in! Go make a bet on any male candidate. Claim your prize after No Nut November ends., but ONLY if the candidate don’t nut. It’s $69 per ticket!
Double your winnings if they don’t nut for the next week!”

With semenly impossible odds, this is a good way to net...

If you rip a hole in a net...

She'll die.

What's the deal with Net Neutrality?

(This post has been blocked by your service provider)

Bill Gates has a net worth of $86.9 billion

To get an estimate of how big that is, take your net worth and atdd $86.9 billion onto it

Want to hear a joke about Net Neutrality?

*I'm sorry, it appears that you've run out of Reddit for this month. Please contact your service provider to buy the Social Media Browsing Pack for the low price of $149.99.*

What do you get when you repeal net neutrality?

[punchline loading, please wait]

What do u call 11 divers and a net?

A soccer team.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Net Neutrality won't ruin everyone's life unlike previously stated

I have it on good authority that the Amish don't give a fuck

What do you call a website without net neutrality?

<Please upgrade to Reddit Gold Package™ to read this post>

Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

For all the people talking completely overblowing the net neutrality issue, I just want to say

THIS IS A PREMIUM JOKE
--------------------------
IN ORDER TO VIEW THIS JOKE
CONTACT YOUR ISP TO
UPGRADE YOUR SERVICE

Starting at just: $60.00/month

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't worry, anyone who doesn't take action in protecting net neutrality will get FREE sex when this blows over!

Specifically, you'll get fucked by Comcast and Verizon.

Two anglers were sitting in a boat

A windsurfer passed by them. Suddenly the windsurfer fell and disappeared in the water. The anglers hurried to the spot and threw their nets out in an attempt to save the windsurfer.
Finally they caught something and pulled the lifeless body into the boat. They started to blow air into his mouth ...

Please, donate to charities to provide bug nets to poor Africans.

With your help, we can save millions of mosquitoes from needlessly dying of AIDS.

Have you heard the one about Net Neutrality?

THIS POST HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER. PAY $10 TO SEE THIS GREAT JOKE.

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my sister to come work for me at my porn company and that last year I made $1 million. She said that’s gross.

I said “no, that’s net.”

Net neutrality is overrated. I can still access all the sites.

Besides, most of them are the same anyway, always showing only 404 and the like.

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire…

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your calibre?"

I would make a joke about nets

But it has a ton of holes

The FCC is trying to take away Net Neutrality.

This isn’t a joke it’s real my dudes

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Georgia as he started to leave a lake well known for it’s fish.

The game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing license please?”

“Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don’t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish!?!?”

“Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o’mine down to the lake and let ’em swim ’roun...

The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

You know what they say about net neutrality...

I don't know. The webpage hasn't loaded for me either.

To play devil’s advocate on this whole Net Neutrality thing...

He’s sure looking forward to meeting Ajit Pai

A fisherman catches a magic newt in his net

The newt is startled at first but he looks around and sees that the net is actually rather large. Huge in fact, it seems to cover the entire pond! Realising that this isn't really a problem after all, he continues about his usual magic newt daily business. He swims around for a bit, visiting all of ...

Gorilla in my tree

Last day I looked out into my garden, and I saw a gorilla sitting in on of my trees. Then I found this guy online, supposedly he should be very good at catching gorillas. After calling him he told me that he would be at my house as fast as possible. He arrives, but he only has a net, gun and a small...

Did you hear about Net Neutrality on the United flight?

[Removed by the FCC]

What if net neutrality didn’t work.

Facebook could be the thrift shop for reddit.

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

Post Net-Neutrality

Google User: I want the search results!

ISP: You can't afford the search results!

If I had a dollar for every post I’ve seen about NET neutrality...

...the rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for $79.99.

So, in "Infinity War"...

Doctor Strange is in battle with Thanos. He sees all the future scenarios that are possible. He lets Thanos get the infinity gauntlet, allowing the deaths of half the universe. He never tells anyone what exactly he saw. The other Avengers saw this as being an incredibly cruel decision to make.
...

I won't control what you do on the internet

but Theresa May

OC science joke

There was a young man who was fed up with all the bias in news networks everywhere and vowed to make his own set of news channels that would be void of any and all bias. As he was not a wealthy man he had to find ways cut costs in making his network. He managed to make an odd deal with all his suppl...

Luke chided Han for blaming Chewbacca when everyone got caught in the tree net on the forest moon of Endor.

But let's be honest: it *was* a Wookie mistake.

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