Net Jokes - 61 Hilarious Net Jokes

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Amber Heard's net worth is $2.5 million and she now has to pay Johnny Depp $15 million...

Yeah, she's forever going to be in Depp!

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

I made a joke about net neutrality

Americans didn't get it.

When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth

He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.

Do you know how to make a net?

You just sew a bunch of holes together.

Why are net fishers pro-education?

Because their success depends on schools.

You really ought to hear this joke about Net Neutrality now.

Or you'll pay for it later.

80% of Americans want net neutrality

The other 20% are dead

Why does Elon Musk make his employees have a net electric charge?

He doesn't want them to be unionized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With Net Neutrality gone I’m finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won’t be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

My financial advisor asked me "What's your net worth?"

I said "I don't own a net".

With the outrage regarding the repeal of Net Neutrality, it is important to remember that there are two sides to this issue.

The outraged side,

And the uninformed.

A joke I came up with that I told people in a dream this morning...

A ship belonging to a seafood company from Italy accidentally drops tons upon tons of live lobsters overboard off the coast of Maine. Upon hearing this news, a lobster-catcher from Maine down on his luck jumps on his boat to catch as many of the lobsters as he can and sell them before the Italian co...

What's the deal with Net Neutrality?

(This post has been blocked by your service provider)

A lonely fisherman decided to use his internet instead of a regular fishing net.

All he caught were catfish.

If I had $ for every time I heard about net neutrality

*The rest of this comment is only viewable with premium membership. Upgrade for only $299.99*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman walks into a job interview.

A Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the man says, "Dats easy."

[And proceeds to draw three trees.](https://qph.i...

What do you call a website without net neutrality?

Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets

Then we could save millions of...... mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.

Post Net-Neutrality

Google User: I want the search results!

ISP: You can't afford the search results!

If Kyrie Irving goes to the Nets

Does he get a New Jersey?

Want to hear a joke about Net Neutrality?

*I'm sorry, it appears that you've run out of Reddit for this month. Please contact your service provider to buy the Social Media Browsing Pack for the low price of $149.99.*

Did you hear the joke about Net Neutrality?

Sorry, your current internet package does not support punchlines. Please upgrade to the higher end package.

So i heard about what net neutrality is..

But i'm not going to buy that

Have you heard the one about Net Neutrality?

THIS POST HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER. PAY $10 TO SEE THIS GREAT JOKE.

What do you call a seal with net electrical charge?

A sea lion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Net Neutrality won't ruin everyone's life unlike previously stated

I have it on good authority that the Amish don't give a fuck

The FBI is now investigating Net Neutrality comments

Pai Pai you piece Ajit

If you rip a hole in a net...

She'll die.

I dont understand all the worry about net neutrality, because

[Please make a £100 donation to AT&T for completion of this joke]

The FCC is trying to take away Net Neutrality.

This isn’t a joke it’s real my dudes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. (one of my favourite jokes, worth the read)

However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can't afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the z...

You know what they say about net neutrality...

I don't know. The webpage hasn't loaded for me either.

What if net neutrality didn’t work.

Facebook could be the thrift shop for reddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dog Minton ate a shuttlecock, a net, and two rackets!

Bad Minton!

What do u call 11 divers and a net?

A soccer team.

I would make a joke about nets

But it has a ton of holes

Did you hear about Net Neutrality on the United flight?

[Removed by the FCC]

An Armenian takes his son hunting with him for the first time.

\- I don't understand, Daddy, - the son says. - How are you going to hunt? You have no gun with you, no traps, no net even...

\- Ah, son, you don't know what our Armenian jinx is like. There, look, a rabbit is sitting under that bush. Such a strong, healthy little rabbit, such shiny fur it ha...

Please, donate to charities to provide bug nets to poor Africans.

With your help, we can save millions of mosquitoes from needlessly dying of AIDS.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my sister to come work for me at my porn company and that last year I made $1 million. She said that’s gross.

I said “no, that’s net.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

Edit: son of a bitch, they're hijacking accounts already!!

A fisherman catches a magic newt in his net

The newt is startled at first but he looks around and sees that the net is actually rather large. Huge in fact, it seems to cover the entire pond! Realising that this isn't really a problem after all, he continues about his usual magic newt daily business. He swims around for a bit, visiting all of ...

Net neutrality is overrated. I can still access all the sites.

Besides, most of them are the same anyway, always showing only 404 and the like.

The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

To play devil’s advocate on this whole Net Neutrality thing...

He’s sure looking forward to meeting Ajit Pai

My friend told me he got hit hard, lost 40% of his net profit in the market in the last year.

I said "so? I lost 85% of my net worth in the market in 1 day"

He said "what? Was it in a mutual fund?!"

I was like "no....my iPhone was stolen at the grocery store"

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.

That‘s a really expensive net!

what does Trump's manhood and net worth have in common?

They both fluctuate depending on how he feels that day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't worry, anyone who doesn't take action in protecting net neutrality will get FREE sex when this blows over!

Specifically, you'll get fucked by Comcast and Verizon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a genie. Delighted, the genie says, "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately shouts out, "I want a billion dollars." *POOF*, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact $1,000,000,003.50.

The second man thinks for a bit, then says, "I want to be the richest man alive." *POOF*, he's holding papers showing his net wor...

Man, if you thought No Nut November was bad...

Wait until No Net December.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and e...

Luke chided Han for blaming Chewbacca when everyone got caught in the tree net on the forest moon of Endor.

But let's be honest: it *was* a Wookie mistake.

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire…

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your calibre?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my friend I made $600 a month selling dog shit

He said: "That's gross!"

I said: "No, that's net."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Classic Catholic Joke, “The Son of a Bitch”

I’ve been Catholic all of my life, and this is one of my favorite jokes of all time.

One of the parish priests from the Cathedral went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish & proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the ...

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.