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Garner Jokes

Have you heard the Eric Garner joke?

It's so funny I can't breathe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My late Grandfathers favorite joke

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and u...

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Wife walks up to husband, takes off her pants and says, "Make me feel like a woman"

Husband takes off his pants, tosses it to his wife and says, "That needs a wash."

~~Edit: I had a feeling butthurt people will be coming in shortly. Bring on the downvotes!~~

Edit #2: I didn't realize that my joke would garner such a decent amount of upvotes. I was honestly confident t...

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Watching "13 Going On 30." I'm at the part where Jennifer Garner is hosting a sleepover for the neighbor girl and her friends. She's quoting "Love is a Battlefield" and it's got me thinking

since when do I watch the E channel and where is that fucking remote.

Are you proportional?

Joel Garner, the 6 Feet 8 Inch Giant West Indian Fast Bowler was once very suggestively asked by A Woman:- "Are you Proportionate All Over ?”

He said:- "No, If that was the case, I would have been 8 feet 6 inches tall."

A Father wanted to help organise a wedding for his daughter...

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other jobs he had been given, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different...

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A local convent is remodeling some of their rooms, and two of the nuns have been charged with repainting them all.

Since neither of them have any experience painting walls, they decide to lock the door and strip naked so they don't get paint on their clothes and risk garnering the wrath of Mother Superior. All is going well after half an hour and they have one wall completed when they hear a knock at the door. ...

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A Nazi walks into a bar and finds a guy called Kyle

He sits down, and Kyle tells him 'I bet I can make that dude over there disappear'. The Nazi, after seeing the skull cap on the man, agrees but says 'I don't think it's goanna work'. Kyle ignores this, and waves his hands three times, then points dramatically at him.


Nothing happens.
<...

So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee jumping tower in Mexico.

And of course all the construction and publicity has garnered a crowd. Well the entrepreneur, seeing an opportunity to wow the crowd, volunteers to be the first person to jump. So he is strapped in and over the edge he goes, and the crowd goes wild. But when his crew goes to retrieve him after his j...

A woman goes to a fortune teller

"Can you read people's futures?" asked the woman.

"Of course dear," said the old fortune teller peering into her crystal ball, "I have predicted many events and have given people their futures accurately. Now, what would you like to know?"

The woman was hesitant and doubtful but asked ...

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A man buys a lie-detecting robot...

A man buys a lie-detecting robot that bops anyone over the head who lies in its presence. He brings it home with him to the dinner table and the family sits in silence, eating.

"Johnny, what did you do today?" he asked his son.

"I did my homework!" Johnny replied, brightly. The robot ...

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It's 1845 and a man travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. (LONG)

It's 1845 and Jacob travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. After hard work, he has a log cabin built and pulls a brass bell from a steamer trunk they brought with them.

His wife, Sara, is bemused, asking what the bell is for. As the man proceeds to hang it from the eaves just in...

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