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Copies Jokes

I have two copies of the book “The Myth of Sisyphus.”

That way, once I finish one, I can just start the other.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new monk arrives at the monastery

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned the task of helping the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there wa...

Any more oxymorons?

* Only choice
* Civil war
* Definite possibility
* Grow smaller
* Random order
* Old news
* True fiction
* Virtual reality
* Working vacation
* Exact estimate
* Original copies
* Pretty ugly
* Fully empty

Just made the most audio copies to ever fit on one vinyl disc.

It was a record record record!

A group of monks are responsible for hand-making new copies of the bible...

The entire monastery is devoted to the task, each day they all wake up and say their prayers before a humble breakfast and then they begin work. On the anniversary of creating his thousandth copy of the bible since he first joined the monastery two decades ago, brother Gray asks the abbot if he coul...

My autobiography has sold zero copies so far

Story of my life.

What do you have when you have 16 copies of the Wizard of Oz?

The Wizard of Lb.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The monks were in the monastery copying those beautiful illuminated manuscripts.

One young monk suggested that, since they’d been copying copies, it might be time to go back to the original and make sure that their copies were correct. The abbot agreed and sent the monk down into the cellar to examine the original. The monk was gone for a long time, and finally the abbot went to...

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of thesauruses crashed yesterday

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"This term," said the English teacher, "we will be studying 'The Canterbury Tales' "

"But," she added, "to anticipate a question I get every year -- this will not include *The Nun's Priest's Tale*"

"Why not?" asked one of the pupils. The teacher's features shaped themselves into an expression of sour disapproval.

"Because," she answered, "*The Nun's Priest's Tale* is l...

If anybody wants any copies of Orthopedic Monthly...

I have back issues.

A self-help book sold 3000 copies on the day of its release.

A self-help book sold 3000 copies on the day of its release because of a typo error.

The title read 'How to change your wife'.

Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded.

They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.

Anyone want any copies of chiropractic monthly?

I've got loads of back issues.

Covid-19 copies itself you know!

Its Plaguerism I tell you!

I'd like 125 copies of the new cookbook about grits

Hominy?

What do you call the YouTube channel of a werewolf who works on submarines to stay out of the way of full moons and copies all the documents for the captain?

Lycan sub scribe

Somebody stole my first edition copies of 1984 and Animal Farm.

Oh well.

What do you call a redditor who copies and pastes dead jokes?

A RIPoster.

Ubisoft giving out copies of Unity for free is so disrespectful

First theirs a cathedral burning everyone needs to worry about now Ubisoft is sending dumpster fires to everyone

Smash Bros Ultimate sold just over 5 million copies in USA.

Didn't knew so many people live in Alabama.

Joseph Smith sold so many copies of the Book of Mormon

That they made him a prophet.

If someone makes a joke about swords and someone else copies it...

Does that make it a *riposte?*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A non-offensive religious joke for Holy Week:

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question ...

One day, a man stole a copy of the Bible.

The rightful owner filed a police report, but there was no evidence left behind nor any leads on who might've stolen it, so the case fell to the wayside. As there was nothing particularly special about this Bible compared to other copies, the rightful owner bought a new copy and forgot about the ord...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey, I just found some old 1980's copies of the TV Guide!

Or as they are now known - the sex offenders registry

Satan was angry because Jesus was always so much better on the computer than he was.

So he went to God and said, "I have been practicing really hard, and although I can't beat Jesus at much of anything, I am pretty sure that I can beat him at computers. So will you set up a contest between us to see once and for all who is the best?"

God reluctantly agrees. He sets up two c...

Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD?

They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.

My sister when through a phase where she spontaneously split down the middle making two identical copies. Now they are...

My one Sis and Mitosis.

A monk joins an abbey ready to dedicate his life to copying ancient books by hand

After the first day though, he reports to the head priest. He's concerned that all the monks have been copying from copies made from still more copies.

"If someone makes a mistake" he points out "It would be impossible to detect. Even worse, the error would continue to be made"

A bit s...

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A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books.

The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made.
Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement.
They a...

I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game "Risk" from local retailers.

When they eventually catch me, I'll say "Life is all about taking Risks."

Vladimir Putin confronts his speechwriter after giving a speech.

“You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes!” Putin exclaims.

His speechwriter replies: “Mr President, I gave you three copies.”

I couldn't find any publishers for my autobiography, so I invested a whole pile of my own money and got 10,000 copies printed. I'm yet to sell even one copy.

Story of my life.

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