A scientist named Berade cloned himself 76 times. Because of a mutation, the clones were all much more muscular than the real Berade.

One day one of the clones said to his 75 fellow clones, "I'm tired of that weakling bossing us around! He's treating us like servants just because he created us!"

So the clones all picked up Berade and threw him into a pigpen. When Berade landed, a hornet's nest was dislodged, and the hornets...

Kim Jong Un got cloned...

Kim Jong Un got cloned.


What will we call him, asks the scientist ?


"Kim Jong- Deux" replied his French assistant.

My girlfriend was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so I asked her if she was my clone from Moscow. She looked confused and said "No, why?"

I said "Because you're Russian me."

I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.

The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I’d been hoisted by my own Picard.

What do you call a Kim jong un clone ?

kim jong dos

I saw a guy on the street selling clones of himself, he was having a sale where you could buy 6 for the price of one

I turned to my friend and said "get a load of this guy"

Ever since I got cloned, my wife has said I spent too much time with him. Today, the clone and I were sat in the lounge watching TV, when my wife came in and told me that she was leaving.

I was beside myself.

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

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I walked in on my two Jesus clones having sex with each other today.

"Jesus fucking christ" , I exclaimed.

Early in the development of the Clone Wars show the writers wanted Obi Wan to forgive Darth Mail for killing his master and befriend him.

They decided to let Qui-Gons be bygones.

It was the height of the Clone Wars, and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin had just finished a heated battle against separatist spacecraft.

After making sure that the civilian freighter they were escorting was undamaged, they prepared to hyperspace jump back to Coruscant. However, just as their craft are about to enter lightspeed, a mysterious pulse of energy fries their systems and instead jumps them to a planet they’ve never seen befo...

What are Star Wars clone troopers muscles built of?

Kamino acids.

Humans advanced to the point of space domination and could create clones of themselves.

Two friends, Dill and Jeuk decided to play space tag. Dill was 'it'.

Jeuk had a clever trick up his sleeve. He created 50 clones of himself and hid them in the galaxy, while he himself hid in a cluster of comets.

After a lot of looking, Dill found the first clone in a nearby star syste...

What would you call a miniature clone of Eminem?

Partial Mathers

I made a Reddit clone that's only for frogs and dyslexics.

It's called Rebbit.

Why don't people like jokes about clones?

They're all the same.

I've kept my clone in captivity long enough

I'll let myself out..

I’m overjoyed that I cloned myself

I am beside myself

*clone of me* quick! shoot her! she’s the clone!

my friend who’s known me since birth: ...

my friend who knows every aspect of me: ...

my boyfriend: ...

my sister: ...

my brother: ...

everyone consecutively: you’re the clone! she would never pass up an opportunity to die!

me: so close.....

Empower Palpatine wants to order some pizzas

A clone enquires: “How many pizzas should we order, my lord?”





“Order 66”

I saw Sir Ian McKellan handing out leaflets about how Dumbledore and Merlin were fake clones of Gandalf

I had a look at one of the leaflets, and it turned out to be the usual propagandalf

I'll never forget the first time I met my clone.





I was beside myself with joy.

I knew a scientist who was obsessed with figuring out to clone a person. One day he figured it out. He was so excited.

He was beside himself.

Due to an accident about a month ago, I had too many clones running about at home, so I decided to take some to self-storage.

After making some new arrangements, I went today to pick them up. When I got there, they told me that my clones had been kicked out a couple of weeks ago because they don't allow residency in their units. I'm doing my best to stay calm, but I know it's going to take more than a few minutes to coll...

I asked my bro if it was cool to bang my clone.

He shrugged. "You do you, fam."

Stop Cloning Around

A mad scientist managed to clone himself, but something went wrong. His clone would repeatedly stick his head out the fourth-story window, and curse at people below. The scientist was at a loss, and deeply embarrassed by his clone's behavior. After two weeks of pleading and threatening his clone, th...

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A couple left the gynecologist’s office with the wife in tears. They were just told that she could never become pregnant and they would never have the family they both desired so fervently.

Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them.

"I think I can help you," he said, handing them a card. "Why are you masked?" the husband asked. "Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scraping from your mouth and cultur...

What do you sing when you kill Dracula's last clone?

"It's the final countdown"

An irishman named Sean cloned himself multiple times but just couldn't stand being around the 11th one...

There was ten Sean between them.

What do you call 25 Mike Pence clones in a room with Donald Trump?

... Quarter pounder with cheese.

(Think British currency here)

Did you hear about the boxer who fought his own clone?

The resemblance was striking.

My friend was delighted when he met his clone

He was beside himself

Why does the Empire have to clone Storm Troopers?

Because when they shoot they always miss

Scientists are studying cloning technology and are finally ready to put it to the test.

They insert DNA from a test subject into the machine and wait as the cloning device does it's thing.

After it's done all it managed to produce was a head, an alive and conscious head.

Scientists quickly scramble to put the head in a jar of salient. Where he remained for about a week....

Bill Nye cloned himself with the help of Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Unfortunately, something went wrong in the cloning process and resulted in the clone being pure evil. As soon as he was released from the cloning vat, the evil clone killed the good Bill Nye and escaped. Much later, after hunting him for years, Neil deGrasse Tyson finally caught up with the evil clo...

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Question: What is globalization

Answer : Princess Diana's death

Question : How come?

Answer :

An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Itali...

If someone cloned me without my permission and then sat that clone down right next to me, do you know how angry I would be?

I would be beside myself.

Why did the scientists clone Chance the Rapper?

Because people deserve a second Chance.

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I encountered my clone in a bathroom stall.

I said, "You've gotta be shitting me."

What did Dolly the Sheep’s friend say to her right after her clone was born?

“Look, it’s a little ewe.”

Scientists in China have successfully cloned two macaque monkeys.

It's quite impossible to tell them apart, said one of the monkeys

We should clone Terry Crews and arm his horde of clones to wage war on our enemies

He could form the basis for a new milli-Terry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once knew a scientist that tried to clone a donkey using his own DNA...

Everyone in his field said it couldn't be done. Needless to say, he made an ass out of himself.

I have finally figured out how to clone a human being!

Needless to say, I am beside myself.

Is it wrong to murder a judge and replace him with an obedient laboratory clone?

Let’s let this judge decide.

My neighbor found out I decided to clone my tabby, just like he did recently...

He called me a copy-cat.

I successfully made a real clone that looks exactly like me

I'm beside myself with excitement.

I'm the first person to ever have a real clone

At least that's what I tell myself

Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?

That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?

What's a good club for clones to join?

The doppelgäng.

Did you hear? A psychopathic scientist cloned a guy, killed the clone, and made the original eat the clone?

He really was full of himself

I was contemplating engineering a newer, more advanced clone of my brain...

But then I realized I was getting ahead of myself.

What did the clone troopers say after they killed Aayla Secura?

Bye Felucia

A scientist finally found a way to clone humans by first cloning himself.

Physically the clone was a perfect match, however it had mental problems. All day long it would curse and shout vulgarities and insults ad nauseum. At first it was interesting but as time went on the behavior worsened. Day in and day out he would spew an endless stream of obscenity that could mak...

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Clones of Donald Trump in a German labor camp.

Orange Jews, from concentrate.

French scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat!

Thank goodness! This will solve the huge rat shortage.

Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?

Because all his genes were hand me downs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the cannibal who cloned himself to see what he would taste like?

It made him shit himself.

Han Solo is chilling in his room when suddenly the light goes out.

He tries to fix the bulb, but after an hour of laborious effort, he gives up.

He heads over to Yoda's place to see if he can help. As Yoda opens the door, he spots a huge machine with flashing lights, beeping in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" he asks Yoda.

"A cloning m...

Story about Kenny Loggins

Was reading this story today about Top Gun, and found another story about Kenny Loggins. Apparently he was part of a recent program to clone musicians and artists, to isolate and modify the genes responsible for creativity. There was a limit of the number of clones that could be created, and at one ...

AI learns that Jesus was crucified to save everyone from their sins and he'll. AI believes in redundant safety.

AI clones 1000 jesuses and crucifies them all

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