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I got arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia in its entirety

...before I got arrested I said "wait I can explain everything

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just downloaded porn but the file is compressed

sigh.... *unzips*

I´ve just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody!

I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

I wish I hadn’t downloaded Reddit.

I regreddit.

Technically, Moses was the first man in history to download data from the cloud to his tablet.

Technically, Moses was the first man in history to download data from the cloud to his tablet. And lucky the data is also in the cloud, cause he got angry and smashed his tablet, so he needed a new one to download everything again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

"I've a downloaded copy of Prince Harry's book 'Spare'. Do you wish to read it?"

"Is it a pdf file?"



"Nope, thats his uncle. A totally different Prince"

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

The Beastie Boys have released a 5 part documentary! Parts A through D are freely available to download, but

You have to fight for your right to Part E!

I just downloaded an ancestry test kit

And frankly, I don’t care about where I’m from. I just want to know who I’m allowed to make fun of

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button

He had to pay in order to use additional features

Ever since I downloaded AdBlock on my computer...

All the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest.

Why did the chess player download tinder in Prague?

He was looking for a Czech mate.

The director of EA walks into a bar

*Download the punchline for only 4.99*

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.



Sincerely,



The Internet Provider

I started downloading Jaws the other day

But after one megabyte, my computer died.

My friend sent me a link to download the images from the James Webb Telescope.

I told him I would download them, but I don’t have space on my phone.

I was hesitant to download this app

I knew one day I might regreddit

Why did the skeleton download Tinder?

He wanted to get boned.

You wouldn't download a car...

...then why the hell do you download drivers?

I don't like to illegally download music.

I'm afraid I'll get FLAC.

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

Ever since my buddy downloaded Grindr he's been so excited about it

He can barely sit down.

If someone sends you a link to download the Homer's Iliad, don't download it...

It's full of trojans!!

Where does a pirate download his music?

Aye-tunes

If we all end up going to jail for downloading music......

I at least hope they separate us by music genre.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby download

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad ...

I just downloaded Luis Suarez best moments video

It was only three megabytes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I prefer illegally downloading bangbros videos over watching free sites.

It feels more like I'm the one fucking the porn stars.

Why is it legal to download America?

Because it's royalty free.

You wouldn’t download a car

Cause trailers are free

I just downloaded my Biology notes but couldn’t open them.

We were studying the helicase. I then had to Unzip the file to open

What do you get if you download Microsoft word multiple times

Microsoft Sentence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If r/Jokes posts were like YouTube videos

Joke title: IS THIS THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE?

Hello welcome to my joke, this joke is sponsored by BackdooredVPN, get the VPN service for just $29.95 a month. Also sponsored by Microtransaction Legends, download the app for free today.

Before we share the joke we want to remind you tha...

Why did the Dalai Lama download the gambling app?

He'd heard they had an introductory offer that would make it Free Tibet.

I've been trying to download this software ALL day..

I kept getting hung up at the end when it said "finish install". I'm Norwegian.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my mate that I got fired for downloading porn at work and causing everything to crash.

"That's a bit harsh!!" he said.

"They don't fuck around at Air Traffic Control " I replied.

What app do you get, when you download instagram a thousand times?

Instakilo

I tried to download an ATV.

But it was a bit Buggy.

If I download a song illegally from Jamaica, does that make me...

A pirate of the Caribbean?

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

This mindfulness app is taking a long time to download

It’s really stressing me out...I should really meditate or something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's worse than your son to download porn?

Your daughter to upload

Why did the man get arrested after illegally downloading "Every Breath You Take"?

The file was created by The Police as part of a Sting operation.

If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.

What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.

I downloaded corn onto my computer.

It messed up the kernel.

A guy was arrested for downloading a poorly rated movie.

It had only a rating of 3.14 on IMDB. But then again, it is illegal to download a pie-rated movie.

Ps: not my joke. Heard it today.

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and

Received a torrent of abuse.

Getting an STD is like downloading a virus...

...but getting married is like downloading ransomware.

ELI5: Why are download speeds so much faster than upload speeds?

Is it because of gravity?

I accidentally downloaded Timber instead of Tinder the other day

Unfortunately I didn’t hook up with anyone, but I did have a lot of trees fall for me

I told my sister to download Reddit on her iPhone...

Told her she would never regreddit

My friends secretly downloaded a 700MB exe file into my laptop.

I think it's a huge setup.

TIFU by downloading a movie from an arabic website. The language was dubbed.

And before you all go on saying wrong sub, well, yes, that was arabic too.

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

I downloaded Friedrich Nietszche's voice for my navigation system

Now it just tells me to find my own way.

I downloaded the last Super Bowl and finally watched it on VLC

Turns out you can love the player and hate the game

Steven Soderberg’s movie *Contagion* becomes the most downloaded movie of the year 2023

...with 17 downloads

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

The other day I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland for an assignment...

was shocked to see that the total file size was 1GB.

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC News: "Illegally downloading pirated films is costing hundreds of millions of pounds a year"

Fuck, what site are they downloading them from? It's free for me..

What do you call a man who illegally downloaded a documentary about circles?

A *πrate*

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet…

When I'd finished, it said, "Saved."

I downloaded some hymns for my ipod

New praylist.

I got a Kindle for Christmas that only lets me download modern sociology audiobooks.

I think it speaks volumes on todays society.

A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door

He looks out the window and sees a police officer so he opens up and says,
"hello officer, what can I do for you?" the officer says,
"I'm sorry sir, but you're under arrest for illegally downloading all of wikipedia," frantically, the man replies,
"Officer wait, I can explain everything!"

Downloading Tik Tok but never opening it is like how Augustus Waters always carries a cigarette in his mouth.

As soon as you use it, you will die of cancer.

What do you call a small insect that likes to download things illegally off the internet?

A Tor-ant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The principal at our school once gave detention to a student for illegally downloading Justin Bieber songs online for free.

Even worse, he expelled another student who actually *paid* for his album.

The code-genie

A programmer finds a genie on the darkweb, and the genie messages him: "YOU GET THREE WISHES." So the programmer excitedly immediately wishes to be a billionaire. The genie messages back: "Hold on there pally it's not that easy. You gotta get me out of the darkweb first and into a LAMP."
...

I downloaded a torrent the other day and the next day 2 agents knocked on my door accusing me of being a Pirate.

I told them I can’t be a pirate and they asked why is that? I showed them my Reddit profile and said “See, no gold”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.

Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?

Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee?

He was charged with Petty theft.

I walked into the bookshop….

and asked the store assistant if Prince Harry’s book is available to download.

She said “do you want the PDF file?”

I said no, that’s his uncle.

In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you’d have to duplicate those on your own.

That’s why they say you can’t steal music without repercussion.

Downloaded that ap where you post your location when you're drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it's called Grinder.

The real plus is that I haven't paid for a single cup yet!

The fellas around here are just so friendly.

The CIA found evidence that Osama Bin Laden had downloaded a lot of videos about how to crochet

Turns out he was trying to replace all those lost afghans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to watch this famous Tom Hanks movie, but I made a typo and ended up downloading a movie about a sex slave in a jungle.

It was called Forest Gimp.

It is a little risky to download “Come Sail Away” or “Satisfaction” from the internet. “Turn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly safe however.

Styx and Stones may break your phones, but The Byrds will never hurt you.

A lot of people say that I don’t have any Friends, but they are wrong.

I have all 10 seasons downloaded on my computer.

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars.

Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

Music

I have been downloading HD digital music but some people don't really like the format so I've been getting a lot of FLAC lately.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

Hi-Tech Tire Flat Joke, revisited

I got a flat in a high-tech tire on my bicycle.

I contacted the manufacturer, and they downloaded a patch.

Unfortunately, it was a cheap, 2-bit patch

Only covered a quarter of the byte the dog took out of my tire.

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