Technically, Moses was the first man in history to download data from the cloud to his tablet.

Technically, Moses was the first man in history to download data from the cloud to his tablet. And lucky the data is also in the cloud, cause he got angry and smashed his tablet, so he needed a new one to download everything again.

Officer: I’m arresting yoh for illegally downloading the entire wikipedia

Man: Wait I can explain everything!

I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia.

I told them I could explain everything

What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam, Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation. Sincerely, Your Internet Provider

Police bursts into a man's house.

They put him on the floor, handcuff him and all that shabang.

One of the officers says to him: "You are arrested for illegally downloading the whole Wikipedia!"

The man says: "I'm sorry officer.

I can explain everything."

Jesus Saves

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. The y had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours,...

Why did the skeleton download Tinder?

He wanted to get boned.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button

He had to pay in order to use additional features

I just downloaded Luis Suarez best moments video

It was only three megabytes

If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.

What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You kids have it easy with your convenient music streaming services and your smartphones. When we were teenagers, if we wanted to listen to an album by our favourite Australian alt rockers, we had to download it from Napster and put it on a CD ourselves.

We were burning the Midnight Oil.

Not sure why Microsoft wants to buy Discord for $10 billion

When they could just download it for free

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

What’s a pirates favorite movie?

I dunno, whatever they can download for free.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just downloaded porn but the file is compressed

sigh.... *unzips*

I just downloaded my Biology notes but couldn’t open them.

We were studying the helicase. I then had to Unzip the file to open

A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door

He looks out the window and sees a police officer so he opens up and says,
"hello officer, what can I do for you?" the officer says,
"I'm sorry sir, but you're under arrest for illegally downloading all of wikipedia," frantically, the man replies,
"Officer wait, I can explain everything!"

I don't like to illegally download music.

I'm afraid I'll get FLAC.

Where does a pirate download his music?

Aye-tunes

A photographer goes to a haunted castle

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween.

The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot.

The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
...

Moses was the first person to:

Download from Cloud onto a Tablet.

I often wonder....

If I download a movie illegally in The Bahamas, does it make me Pirate Of The Caribbean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Daddy, how was I born?"

A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?”

The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you were going to find out anyway. Your mom and I first got together in an internet chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a seclu...

Downloaded that ap where you post your location when you're drinking a good cup of coffee, I think it's called Grinder.

The real plus is that I haven't paid for a single cup yet!

The fellas around here are just so friendly.

My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.

All these "Don't pay too much for [x]" Wikibuy/Honey ads are really convincing.

They convinced me to download Adblocker.

Why did the man get arrested after illegally downloading "Every Breath You Take"?

The file was created by The Police as part of a Sting operation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to watch this famous Tom Hanks movie, but I made a typo and ended up downloading a movie about a sex slave in a jungle.

It was called Forest Gimp.

The other day I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland for an assignment...

was shocked to see that the total file size was 1GB.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The principal at our school once gave detention to a student for illegally downloading Justin Bieber songs online for free.

Even worse, he expelled another student who actually *paid* for his album.

I never download free software

I'm afraid of going to trial




*Here trial means both trial software and a real trial that you go when you commit a crime*

Steven Soderberg’s movie *Contagion* becomes the most downloaded movie of the year 2023

...with 17 downloads

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

Your download is starting...
Click here if it doesn't start automatically

What do you get if you download Microsoft word multiple times

Microsoft Sentence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you cum on a sad girl?

A download.

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

One from their ISP stating their internet has been shut off for illegal downloading.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

I was hesitant to download this app

I knew one day I might regreddit

New flight simulator.

I downloaded a new 737 Max flight simulator, but it keeps crashing.

I downloaded a torrent the other day and the next day 2 agents knocked on my door accusing me of being a Pirate.

I told them I can’t be a pirate and they asked why is that? I showed them my Reddit profile and said “See, no gold”

This mindfulness app is taking a long time to download

It’s really stressing me out...I should really meditate or something.

A little boy to his father: "Daddy, how did I actually come into the world?" Daddy replies: "Alright my son, at some point we have to to this talking, so watch out:

Daddy got to know mommy in a "chat room." Later, daddy and mommy met in a "cyber cafe" and on the toilet, mommy wanted to do a few "downloads" of daddy's "Joy Stick". When daddy was then ready for the "upload", we suddenly realized that we had no "firewall" installed and it was already too late to p...

I've just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody...

I think it was filmed in a cinema though as I see a little silhouetto of a man...

Why did the Dalai Lama download the gambling app?

He'd heard they had an introductory offer that would make it Free Tibet.

A guy was arrested for downloading a poorly rated movie.

It had only a rating of 3.14 on IMDB. But then again, it is illegal to download a pie-rated movie.

Ps: not my joke. Heard it today.

What is a least favourite letter of a pirate?

Dear sir, we have record of your illegal downloading activity.

I never use internet explorer, but when I do

I download google chrome.

I've been trying to download this software ALL day..

I kept getting hung up at the end when it said "finish install". I'm Norwegian.

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

The one from his lawyer telling him all the illegal downloading charges have been dropped.

I downloaded the last Super Bowl and finally watched it on VLC

Turns out you can love the player and hate the game

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

What app do you get, when you download instagram a thousand times?

Instakilo

Ever since my buddy downloaded Grindr he's been so excited about it

He can barely sit down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I got fired today," I told my mate, .

"for downloading porn on the work computer and causing everything to crash."

"That's a bit harsh," he replied.

"They don't fuck around at Air Traffic Control," I said

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins an online contest but enters the wrong email address to access the code.

He realizes that his account is on yahoo instead of gmail and now someone else has received the code to access the $5000 prize. He drives to his office disheartened and asks his secretary if he should just send an email to the account requesting the person to forward the code. Then his frustration i...

My friends secretly downloaded a 700MB exe file into my laptop.

I think it's a huge setup.

How did the programmer cure his constipation?

He downloaded a log.

So apparently Microsoft is working on a new Chromium-based web browser to replace the old ones..

Hooray! We'll finally have a decent web browser for downloading other web browsers.

Why is it legal to download America?

Because it's royalty free.

TIFU by downloading a movie from an arabic website. The language was dubbed.

And before you all go on saying wrong sub, well, yes, that was arabic too.

The most important browsers are IE and Edge.

You need them to download Chrome and Firefox.

I accidentally downloaded Timber instead of Tinder the other day

Unfortunately I didn’t hook up with anyone, but I did have a lot of trees fall for me

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and

Received a torrent of abuse.

Downloaded a new app, forced to wear a Santa costume now for the next two months

Turns out I didn't read the Santa clause.

You wouldn’t download a car

Cause trailers are free

I told my sister to download Reddit on her iPhone...

Told her she would never regreddit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shakespeare - Its better to have loved and lost,

than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC News: "Illegally downloading pirated films is costing hundreds of millions of pounds a year"

Fuck, what site are they downloading them from? It's free for me..

It is a little risky to download “Come Sail Away” or “Satisfaction” from the internet. “Turn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly safe however.

Styx and Stones may break your phones, but The Byrds will never hurt you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I prefer illegally downloading bangbros videos over watching free sites.

It feels more like I'm the one fucking the porn stars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life just got a whole lot better...

Frontier increased my download speed from 1.5Mbs to 15.

ELI5: Why are download speeds so much faster than upload speeds?

Is it because of gravity?

In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you’d have to duplicate those on your own.

That’s why they say you can’t steal music without repercussion.

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

What do you call a man who illegally downloaded a documentary about circles?

A *πrate*

I got a Kindle for Christmas that only lets me download modern sociology audiobooks.

I think it speaks volumes on todays society.

I downloaded a book on Ethics from the PirateBay

I hadn't gotten to that chapter yet

The CIA found evidence that Osama Bin Laden had downloaded a lot of videos about how to crochet

Turns out he was trying to replace all those lost afghans

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

Microsoft Edge is a big improvement over IE...

It downloads Chrome twice as fast!

The director of EA walks into a bar

*Download the punchline for only 4.99*

Getting an STD is like downloading a virus...

...but getting married is like downloading ransomware.

What do you call a small insect that likes to download things illegally off the internet?

A Tor-ant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.

Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's worse than your son to download porn?

Your daughter to upload

I downloaded an app that notifies me when Trump throws a tantrum.

It's called Twitter.

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much far...

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet…

When I'd finished, it said, "Saved."

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars.

Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two thieves break into a man's house...

The man wakes up in the middle of a night and runs down stairs but the thieves escape over the fence so he calls the police. The police get to his house and ask what happened; the mans says: "Well the robbers took off with my personal computer and nothing else before I scared them away", the police ...

I started downloading Jaws the other day

But after one megabyte, my computer died.

Epic Chinese Movie Translation

While on vacation and downloading a DVD copy of War of the Worlds (2005) I laugh so hard from the English subtitle of what I downloaded and it turns out that it was a Pirated copy of the War of the Worlds.

Ray: It's OK...
(Subtitle: Do not fine, you is just fine.)

Rachel: Is Robby...

I downloaded Friedrich Nietszche's voice for my navigation system

Now it just tells me to find my own way.

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