This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

A man got arrested for downloading the complete WikiPedia...

It's OK though, he can explain everything!

I downloaded the music to the film Titanic.

It is syncing right now.

What do you get if you download Microsoft word multiple times

Microsoft Sentence

I was hesitant to download this app

I knew one day I might regreddit

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.



Sincerely,



The Internet Provider

I´ve just downloaded the Queen movie, Bohemian Rhapsody!

I think it was filmed in a cinema though, as I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Wiki joke

Officer: “I’m arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia”
Man: “No wait! I can explain everything!”

I downloaded a torrent the other day and the next day 2 agents knocked on my door accusing me of being a Pirate.

I told them I can’t be a pirate and they asked why is that? I showed them my Reddit profile and said “See, no gold”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby download

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad ...

What is a communist doing when he downloads something?

He is in*stalin*

Ok I'll leave.

This mindfulness app is taking a long time to download

It’s really stressing me out...I should really meditate or something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you cum on a sad girl?

A download.

Why did the Dalai Lama download the gambling app?

He'd heard they had an introductory offer that would make it Free Tibet.

The cops are questioning me about illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia.

I said, “I can explain everything.”

If I download a song illegally from Jamaica, does that make me...

A pirate of the Caribbean?

I'm launching a pirating website.

It has two games: a treasure hunting game called "X Marrrrrrks the Spot" and a naval warfare game called "Take No Prisonerrrrrrs." It also has lots of free movies you can download and watch.

All the movies have 3.14 stars.

What app do you get, when you download instagram a thousand times?

Instakilo

A guy was arrested for downloading a poorly rated movie.

It had only a rating of 3.14 on IMDB. But then again, it is illegal to download a pie-rated movie.

Ps: not my joke. Heard it today.

I've been trying to download this software ALL day..

I kept getting hung up at the end when it said "finish install". I'm Norwegian.

Ever since my buddy downloaded Grindr he's been so excited about it

He can barely sit down.

Why couldn’t the self-driving car start after its interface update?

It didn’t download the right drivers

I downloaded the last Super Bowl and finally watched it on VLC

Turns out you can love the player and hate the game

Cop: We suspect you have illegally downloaded all the editions of Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Man: Wait! I can explain everything!

What is the best way to download a YouTube video?

Screenshot each second and play it on PowerPoint

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

My friends secretly downloaded a 700MB exe file into my laptop.

I think it's a huge setup.

TIFU by downloading a movie from an arabic website. The language was dubbed.

And before you all go on saying wrong sub, well, yes, that was arabic too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I prefer illegally downloading bangbros videos over watching free sites.

It feels more like I'm the one fucking the porn stars.

Downloaded a new app, forced to wear a Santa costume now for the next two months

Turns out I didn't read the Santa clause.

Why is it legal to download America?

Because it's royalty free.

You wouldn't download a car...

...then why the hell do you download drivers?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC News: "Illegally downloading pirated films is costing hundreds of millions of pounds a year"

Fuck, what site are they downloading them from? It's free for me..

I accidentally downloaded Timber instead of Tinder the other day

Unfortunately I didn’t hook up with anyone, but I did have a lot of trees fall for me

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and

Received a torrent of abuse.

It is a little risky to download “Come Sail Away” or “Satisfaction” from the internet. “Turn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly safe however.

Styx and Stones may break your phones, but The Byrds will never hurt you.

You wouldn’t download a car

Cause trailers are free

I told my sister to download Reddit on her iPhone...

Told her she would never regreddit

What is a least favourite letter of a pirate?

Dear sir, we have record of your illegal downloading activity.

What do you call a man who illegally downloaded a documentary about circles?

A *πrate*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my buddy that I got fired for downloading porn at work and causing everything to crash...

"That's a bit harsh," he said.

I replied, "They don't screw around at Air Traffic Control."

I started downloading Jaws the other day

But after one megabyte, my computer died.

New flight simulator.

I downloaded a new 737 Max flight simulator, but it keeps crashing.

How come erotic games are always digital downloads?

I just want a physical release.

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you’d have to duplicate those on your own.

That’s why they say you can’t steal music without repercussion.

A little boy to his father: "Daddy, how did I actually come into the world?" Daddy replies: "Alright my son, at some point we have to to this talking, so watch out:

Daddy got to know mommy in a "chat room." Later, daddy and mommy met in a "cyber cafe" and on the toilet, mommy wanted to do a few "downloads" of daddy's "Joy Stick". When daddy was then ready for the "upload", we suddenly realized that we had no "firewall" installed and it was already too late to p...

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

The one from his lawyer telling him all the illegal downloading charges have been dropped.

The CIA found evidence that Osama Bin Laden had downloaded a lot of videos about how to crochet

Turns out he was trying to replace all those lost afghans

What do you call a small insect that likes to download things illegally off the internet?

A Tor-ant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's worse than your son to download porn?

Your daughter to upload

Ever since I downloaded AdBlock on my computer...

All the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest.

I never use internet explorer, but when I do

I download google chrome.

I got a Kindle for Christmas that only lets me download modern sociology audiobooks.

I think it speaks volumes on todays society.

A Christian, an Atheist, and a Muslim met at the DMV

They decided to have a contest to see whose belief system was best. Each of them would drive 10-15 miles over the speed limit everywhere they went and whoever could use their beliefs to get out of a ticket would be the winner. They agreed to meet up again next month.

A month later they reco...

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much far...

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet…

When I'd finished, it said, "Saved."

I just found out Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars.

Idiots...they should have just downloaded it.

Optimist: "This glass is half-full." Pessimist: "This glass is half-empty."

EA Employee: "Download the next half for $9.99!"

The Director Of Supercell Walks Into A Bar...

*Download the punchline for only $2.99!*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two thieves break into a man's house...

The man wakes up in the middle of a night and runs down stairs but the thieves escape over the fence so he calls the police. The police get to his house and ask what happened; the mans says: "Well the robbers took off with my personal computer and nothing else before I scared them away", the police ...

What's a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet service has been disconnected due to terms of service violations and excessive downloading. Please return modem and accessories to your nearest Comcast location.

Sincerely,

Comcast

Epic Chinese Movie Translation

While on vacation and downloading a DVD copy of War of the Worlds (2005) I laugh so hard from the English subtitle of what I downloaded and it turns out that it was a Pirated copy of the War of the Worlds.

Ray: It's OK...
(Subtitle: Do not fine, you is just fine.)

Rachel: Is Robby...

I downloaded Friedrich Nietszche's voice for my navigation system

Now it just tells me to find my own way.

Internet explorer...

The best browser for downloading a new browser

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Upgrading From BoyFriend To Husband

INSTALLING HUSBAND!!!
A woman writes to the IT Technical support.....
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawless...

The director of EA walks into a bar

*Download the punchline for only 4.99*

I tried to download an ATV.

But it was a bit Buggy.

If my Sky Internet gets any slower

by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal.

I just downloaded more RAM...

...but I still can't play No Man's Sky.

Taxi driver and the tourist

One day, A taxi driver picked up a tourist in a airport and the tourist told the driver to drive him to the hotel. While on the way to the hotel the tourist started bragging about his stuff he owns.

Tourist: you see this camera? It can take 120 frames per second video, very fast!

The...

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

Computer Weight

One day, an angry man ran into the computer shop with his laptop. He shouted at the man on duty,"Your company's website said that this computer would weigh 4.6 pounds. But when I weighed it on my scale, it showed that it weighed 4.61 pounds! I want my money back!" The man on duty replied," I'm sorry...

I tried to download Ford Racing 2 today...

It crashed.

Grandma's Password

My 100 year old grandma asked me to set up a security camera, so she could see who was stealing her clothes at her assisted living facility, so I brought over a wireless camera and started to install an app on her IPAD for monitoring.

I needed her Apple ID to download the app, so I asked her ...

If someone sends you a link to download the Homer's Iliad, don't download it...

It's full of trojans!!

When I was a kid I wanted to become a pirate, and sail the open seas.

But instead, I just ended up downloading a lot of movies.

I downloaded some hymns for my ipod

New praylist.

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