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Replicate Jokes

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Tattoo

A man wanted to get a tattoo. The only issue was, the tattoo was an devilishly intricate design. He went to his local tattoo parlor, only to get turned away as the artist was not skilled enough. He tried again in a busy parlor in the middle of a nearby city, only to be told it was too difficult once...

I once ran into someone dressed as Brent Spiner's character from Star Trek: The Next Generation, and saved all the coordinates so that I could replicate the experience later.

I metadata.

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It has been said that Abraham Lincoln wrote a journal on how to construct a sturdy house that would last 100 years...

...for many years engineers have been trying to replicate it, but sadly they haven't found any of Lincoln's Logs.

Did you hear about how realistic Call of Duty: WWII is?

Sledgehammer Games rented servers from the 1940s to replicate WWII as accurately as possible

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, the findings never replicate.

One day on the USS-Enterprise...

Captain Picard tears his uniform. Now, normally he could just replicate a new one, but he was particularly fond of this uniform and so he went to get it mended in the uniform repair machine, but it was broken. So he called Geordi LaForge.

"Geordi, the machine that repairs uniforms is broken....

2 test tubes

‘We have two test tubes here,’ said the professor of IVF studies from Monash University. ‘They contain two carefully synthesized ingredients that we can now use to create human life. Solution A is a genetically engineered copy of all the ingredients in the female ovum, while Solution B replicates th...

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Was told this joke a couple of years ago and I still find it funny. (Kind of really Long)

So there's three guys in a car. One is a scientist, one a mathematician, and one a truck driver. Suddenly, one of the tires gets stuck in a pothole, the car flips over and they all die. They ascend to heaven and the guy at the gate tells them "There's only room for one of you here. You will all h...

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Reasons why God never got tenure at the university.

1. He had only one major publication.
2. And it was in Hebrew.
3. And it had no cited references.
4. And it wasn't published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
5. And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world but what has he...

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Three men are travelling through a desert...

... They come upon a tent, and inside is a group of 72 beautiful virgin women that are scantily clothed. The men decide to get friendly with the girls, and not too long afterwards a man adorned in golden jewelry and exotic silks steps into the tent with body guards flanking him. "What are you doing ...

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A trucker is driving down a random stretch of highway

He happens upon a billboard while driving that reads...

Peaches, engineered for your taste!
Only 10 miles!

Mildly intrigued, the driver decides to check out what this means. "Engineered for my tastes, what bullshit!", he says.

Driving for the next couple miles, he final...

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

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