Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager.

Reddit should rename 'karma' to 'creddit', 'share' to 'spreddit' and 'delete' to 'shreddit'. If they do, they won't regreddit.

They probably won't, and i don't geddit.

I had a nightmare last night that my Tik Tok account was deleted

It was scary, because for a second I thought I had a Tik Tok account.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't.

I don’t geddit.

Eddits:

Courtesy to The_maxi : I propose to add a function to remove awards and name it “regreddit“

A boy asked his father "Why is my sister named Theresa?" "Because your mother loves Easter and Theresa is an anagram." "Thanks dad."

"Your welcome Alan."

I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to

Now I’ll never hear the end of it

My mate just deleted his Facebook account

We will not see his likes again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If General Motors Built Cars like Microsoft...



This is an old joke and sadly some of this has come to pass.



If General Motors Built Cars like Microsoft...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology li...

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn. I did the first half pretty quickly...

but now I'm losing Steam.

I took a picture of rice but I decided to delete it...

It was too grainy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'

It looks like I'll have to start from scratch

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a brand new Baby Yoda buttplug?

A **Toy Yoda Pre-Ass.**

I came up with this in a hot parking lot and it just stuck in my brain.

What does a Redditor do when they need to delete a post

Shreddit

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?"

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Who do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"

A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new batt...

I told my Dad I am going to delete all of my social media accounts, throw away my electronics and go live in the woods.

He told me I can't just Thoreau my life away.

Reddit logic.

- Oh I see you made a comment, I'm sorry to inform you it got deleted! You don't have enough karma to make the comment.

= That's fine! How do I make enough karma then?

- You need up votes and rewards on your comments of course!

= ok...? I will make one then and hopefully I get u...

What do you call cancer when it achieves sentience?

A reddit mod.

(doubt this will prevent it form being deleted and myself banned, but this 'attack' is quite impersonal)

I logged in today to see if my reply got deleted.

It's still hanging on by a thread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I participated in a joke writing competition on this sub three years ago.

The mods laid out 4 simple rules quite clearly:

1. For the following two days, all posts on this sub would be considered as entries for the competition.

2. The post with the most upvotes would be declared as the winner, i.e., the best joke. The number of upvotes until the end o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

Just tell me mate

Ight guys I wanna make this guy mine and he loves jokes so tell me your best joke .

Well since this is a joke community I will tell a joke so the post won’t get deleted .

Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it.

It's spam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"What about it exactly?"

"How the hell do you delete the history so mother doesn't find out?"



(translated, sorry if not properly)

I watched a Liam Neeson action movie that had the unrealistic parts deleted.

It was Taken seriously.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just watched the deleted scenes from a porno

Turns out they do fix the washing machine after all!

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

My mom: son, why did I find "how to delete your history" in your history?

Me: because it was useless.

I deleted all of my German friends from my phone book

It’s now Hans free

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

How do you know if someone deleted their Facebook?

They'll tell you.

How can you get rid of the Proud Boys?

Just type alt-right delete.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone.

I want to make it Hans-free!

If all reposts on r/Jokes were deleted,

then r/Jokes would be as long as this joke.

I've decided to delete my Twitter.

I keep feeling that people are following me.

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

I've just uncovered damning evidence that Hillary Clinton knew about the 30,000 emails she deleted as well as what really happened in Benghazi

I'm sharing it because the American people deserve to know the tr

Guys we have a problem

WHO THE HELL IS [Deleted] AND WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS SAYING [Removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

The scariest book of all time!! [LONG]

There once lived an author named Mr. Troller. He was infamous as the writer of the scariest book ever. Only three people ever bought his book and after reading his book , all the three guys passed away . The reason nobody bought his book was because it was damn expensive ($150,000) and nobody wanted...

John Oliver have created few years back the site where you can "Scream something into the void". Sadly that site is now deleted, but I have found an alternative.

It's called the customer support.

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

CLICKBAIT JOKE THAT WILL MAKE YOU SAY "Why is it deleted?"

[Deleted]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

r/Showerthoughts deleted this as being a political topic

"Sexual harassment is a touchy subject."

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.



(I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dork Ruined Joke Then Deleted It Because He Couldn't Stand The Downvotes: Reposted Right

An American gentleman arranged a liaison with a Japanese lady. As they were indulging in sexual intercourse, she repeatedly shouted a Japanese word which he did not understand but took to mean "Wonderful" or something similar which increased his ardor, his efforts with the lady, and his enjoyment, a...

A blonde was called into court recently

She was so dumb, she asked a Jehovah's Witness what they saw.

(If this is offensive to anyone, I'll delete it.)

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