UPJOKE
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Delete Jokes

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't.

I don’t geddit.

Eddits:

Courtesy to The_maxi : I propose to add a function to remove awards and name it “regreddit“

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager.

Why do people delete comments from Reddit?

They Regreddit.

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to delete the Grindr app

It was becoming a pain in my ass.

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn. I did the first half pretty quickly...

but now I'm losing Steam.

What does a Redditor do when they need to delete a post

Shreddit

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'.

Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.

Yesterday I had a nightmare that my tiktok account was deleted.

For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

Edit: it's currently December 22nd of 2021 and I confess: this joke is a repost

... just like the hundreds of other copies of this

All you need in life is 1 good friend

To delete your web browsing history after you die

[Request] Self deprecating joke about height for wedding

Long story short, I am officiating a wedding between the 2 tallest and most stunning friends I have. I am about 5'9 VS his 6'4 I would like to make some jab about them not being able to get anyone taller or when they asked me i immediately started thinking about how tall of a stool I would need to f...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma is a weird name...

They should rename "karma" to "creddit"

They should also rename the "share" button to "spreaddit"

They should then also rename the "delete" button to "shreddit"

But they don't, and I don't geddit



* Eddit: Wow, I did not expect to get gold for that one...

My wife let me listen to her audiobook, but I accidentally deleted it halfway through.

Now I’ll ….never hear the end of it.

What you call when you delete Microsoft Edge browser from your computer?

Cutting Edge technology!

I deleted all the German contacts out of my phone...

now its Hans free

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

I took a picture of rice but I decided to delete it...

It was too grainy.

I wrote a haiku about admins and mods

[removed] [deleted]
[removed] [deleted] [removed]
[deleted] [removed]

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone.

I want to make it Hans-free!

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

This comment has been overwritten and deleted forevermore by the user in response to the API changes June 2023.

I had a nightmare last night that my Tik Tok account was deleted

It was scary, because for a second I thought I had a Tik Tok account.

I've decided to delete my Twitter.

I keep feeling that people are following me.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

My mate just deleted his Facebook account

We will not see his likes again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'

It looks like I'll have to start from scratch

I logged in today to see if my reply got deleted.

It's still hanging on by a thread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex positions for small penises

Fuck! This isn't Google search. How do I delete this post?

How do you know if someone deleted their Facebook?

They'll tell you.

If all reposts on r/Jokes were deleted,

then r/Jokes would be as long as this joke.

If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first F president.

I didn’t say female because someone deleted the emale.

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

I watched a Liam Neeson action movie that had the unrealistic parts deleted.

It was Taken seriously.

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant I started crying.

Edit: [deleted]. Reposts on Reddit soon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you piss off thousands of people on the internet all at once?

[deleted]

Deleted scene from The Shining

[Jack Nicholson chops into door with axe]

[Shelley Duvall screams]

[Jack Nicholson sticks his head through the hole in the door] HEEEEERE'S JOURNEY!!!

["Any Way You Want It" starts playing]

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

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