I logged in today to see if my reply got deleted.

It's still hanging on by a thread.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.



(I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)

What does a Redditor do when they need to delete a post

Shreddit

If all reposts on r/Jokes were deleted,

then r/Jokes would be as long as this joke.

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

I deleted all the German people I know from my phone

Now it’s Hans-Free

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

How do you know if someone deleted their Facebook?

They'll tell you.

If I had a dollar

If I had a dollar for every time a girl didn't find me attractive they'd eventually find me attractive.







(Haven't seen this one on here before so if it's a repost I'll delete it)
Ps thanks for pointing out that I forgot to read it before posting it with a mistake

I deleted my Facebook account...

So I didn’t get a single birthday wish.

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

Tinder has a new catch phrase.

Meet,skeet & delete

If you get an email from me about tinned ham, delete it.

It's spam.

My mom: son, why did I find "how to delete your history" in your history?

Me: because it was useless.

How do you delete important files on your computer permanently?

Update to the Windows 10 October Update

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

I was gonna tell you a joke about an Olympic fencer, but it’s gonna get deleted...

It was just a riposte anyway.

Why are Me and China alike?

We both like to delete our history.

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

Hillary Clinton could've been the first f president.

Sorry, I meant to write female but the emale got deleted.

Why did the Tank Man cross the road?

What Tank Man? Who's that? Nothing happened in Tiananmen Square.

*this post has been deleted for offending our overlords*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy goes to his father and asks...

"Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat group on FaceBook. Then I set up a date via Tinder with your Mom and we met at a Starbucks, because of the free wifi. We sneaked into...

Why are libraries always the tallest buildings

Because they have thousands of stories

(If this has been made before, please comment a link to it an I will delete this post, or just say it and I might, but a link would be appreciated :) )

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

I've just uncovered damning evidence that Hillary Clinton knew about the 30,000 emails she deleted as well as what really happened in Benghazi

I'm sharing it because the American people deserve to know the tr

John Oliver have created few years back the site where you can "Scream something into the void". Sadly that site is now deleted, but I have found an alternative.

It's called the customer support.

2 Cowboys are stranded in the desert.

They keep pushing on and on until they see a tree.
#
This tree in particular looked like a bacon tree.
#
“We’re saved” exclaimed the cowboys.
#
They rushed towards the tree and where quickly shot down.
#
It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.
#
#
I was not aware ...

Felt cute, got pregnant.

Might delete later.

Drunk driver

This isn't so much a joke as it is a true story that happened to me. My buddy always got a kick out of it and it makes me laugh. Delete if not allowed.


My friends wife left him and I went to his house to drink beer and play music. We had a great time and somewhere around 3am I st...

Guys I had a nightmare

I dreamed that my Fortnite account got deleted.

I was really scared for a second that I played Fortnite.

My son asked me, what's it like to be married?

So I deleted every song on his iPod except one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

r/Showerthoughts deleted this as being a political topic

"Sexual harassment is a touchy subject."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

Where does an apple go hiking?

The Apple-achian Mountains...

I’ll delete my account now

I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.

Now I'm Hanns free.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can we please stop those "I lost yyy% of my xxx" jokes?

Reminds me that my mom deleted all my porn videos.

I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone.

I want to make it Hans-free!

I like my beers as I like my Paralympians

strong and hoppy



*^((I'll delete this if it's deemed to be offensive)**)*

I've decided to delete my Twitter.

I keep feeling that people are following me.

Shout out to people who dont know what the opposite of in is

^(Ignore this part im only writing this part so my post wont get deleted)

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

Brilliant idea for a start-up

Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.

Gonna call it thanOS.

What does Disney have in common with a guy in an outhouse in Chicago?

They’re both making frozen number two.

Reddit rename suggestions

Rename share to spreddit, delete to shreddit, karma to creddit. The fact the they haven’t done this, I just don’t Greddit

CLICKBAIT JOKE THAT WILL MAKE YOU SAY "Why is it deleted?"

[Deleted]

Roses are red,

My screen is blue, I think I deleted system32.

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant I started crying.

Edit: [deleted]. Reposts on Reddit soon.

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