Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager.

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'.

Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.

My mate just deleted his Facebook account

We will not see his likes again.

Yesterday I had a nightmare that my tiktok account was deleted.

For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.

I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to

Now I’ll never hear the end of it

I took a picture of rice but I decided to delete it...

It was too grainy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'

It looks like I'll have to start from scratch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn. I did the first half pretty quickly...

but now I'm losing Steam.

I told my Dad I am going to delete all of my social media accounts, throw away my electronics and go live in the woods.

He told me I can't just Thoreau my life away.

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"What about it exactly?"

"How the hell do you delete the history so mother doesn't find out?"



(translated, sorry if not properly)

What does a Redditor do when they need to delete a post

Shreddit

I watched a Liam Neeson action movie that had the unrealistic parts deleted.

It was Taken seriously.

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

How can you get rid of the Proud Boys?

Just type alt-right delete.

The scariest book of all time!! [LONG]

There once lived an author named Mr. Troller. He was infamous as the writer of the scariest book ever. Only three people ever bought his book and after reading his book , all the three guys passed away . The reason nobody bought his book was because it was damn expensive ($150,000) and nobody wanted...

I logged in today to see if my reply got deleted.

It's still hanging on by a thread.

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

Guys we have a problem

WHO THE HELL IS [Deleted] AND WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS SAYING [Removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just watched the deleted scenes from a porno

Turns out they do fix the washing machine after all!

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it.

It's spam.

I deleted all of my German friends from my phone book

It’s now Hans free

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

How do you know if someone deleted their Facebook?

They'll tell you.

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

If all reposts on r/Jokes were deleted,

then r/Jokes would be as long as this joke.

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

My mom: son, why did I find "how to delete your history" in your history?

Me: because it was useless.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone.

I want to make it Hans-free!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Future historians will have difficulties studying about our pornstars

because we delete them from our history.

A blonde was called into court recently

She was so dumb, she asked a Jehovah's Witness what they saw.

(If this is offensive to anyone, I'll delete it.)

I've just uncovered damning evidence that Hillary Clinton knew about the 30,000 emails she deleted as well as what really happened in Benghazi

I'm sharing it because the American people deserve to know the tr

John Oliver have created few years back the site where you can "Scream something into the void". Sadly that site is now deleted, but I have found an alternative.

It's called the customer support.

I've decided to delete my Twitter.

I keep feeling that people are following me.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.



(I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Day at the University

I posted a joke that gained some popularity before getting deleted for breaking the rules of the community. As there are people who ask me what the joke was, I'll try to reformulate it so that it complies with the rules.

Carrynegie Melon University, Penisylvania. Prof. Mary Armstrong gives a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

An old Soviet anecdote [WARNING: GORE]

A chief talks to his tribe:

— Are we the greatest tribe?

Entire tribe shouts:

— YES!!!

— Then we need our own nuclear bomb and a rocket to carry it!

— YES!!!

— Let's build them then.

The tribe chopped down the thickest and tallest tree in the forest, ...

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

r/Showerthoughts deleted this as being a political topic

"Sexual harassment is a touchy subject."

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

What do you call your reddit friend Ted who works at the deli?

-deleted-

During this lockdown, please think of the confidence level and mental health of your companies IT person.

They have gone more then three months without being able to look you in the eye without smirking, while first turning your computer off and then on again, before accessing the admin profile to delete then add the wireless printer again so you can print your emails.

I got an email notification about a joke being posted in Reddit

I clicked delete, but my email client wouldn't let me send it to trash. Apparently, jokes can only be recycled, not sent to trash

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.