Yesterday I had a nightmare that my tiktok account was deleted.

For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'.

Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.

Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT + DELETE?

She wanted to see the task manager...

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

I deleted my wife's audiobook

Now I'll never hear the end of it.

I watched a Liam Neeson action movie that had the unrealistic parts deleted.

It was Taken seriously.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just watched the deleted scenes from a porno

Turns out they do fix the washing machine after all!

What does a Redditor do when they need to delete a post

Shreddit

My dad said he'd delete my computer games if I didn't finish mowing the lawn. I did the first half pretty quickly...

but now I'm losing Steam.

Why did the joke get deleted?

Because the mods had already reddit.

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

I got an email notification about a joke being posted in Reddit

I clicked delete, but my email client wouldn't let me send it to trash. Apparently, jokes can only be recycled, not sent to trash

I deleted all of my German friends from my phone book

It’s now Hans free

What do you call your reddit friend Ted who works at the deli?

-deleted-

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Future historians will have difficulties studying about our pornstars

because we delete them from our history.

I logged in today to see if my reply got deleted.

It's still hanging on by a thread.

Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

I'm trying to convince my wife to upgrade our yard so I wanted to show her on my chromecast people having fun on terraces so I yelled "Hey google, show me a movie of a wife enjoying a big deck with her friends" but I think google misheard me.

I just made it up after a couple of glasses

It's 2020. We need to WAKE UP. The biggest threat to humanity is here. This world is dying. We NEED to do something about this. We can't let this virus take over humanity.

Someone delete TikTok ffs.

Errors are red

My screen is blue

I think I deleted

System 32

If all reposts on r/Jokes were deleted,

then r/Jokes would be as long as this joke.

How ugly are you?

I take 10 pictures of myself and delete 12.

How do you know if someone deleted their Facebook?

They'll tell you.

If you get an email from me about tinned ham, delete it.

It's spam.

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

My mom: son, why did I find "how to delete your history" in your history?

Me: because it was useless.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.



(I can’t imagine this isn’t a repost, so delete if need be)

I was gonna tell you a joke about an Olympic fencer, but it’s gonna get deleted...

It was just a riposte anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Each 2020 hopeful Presidential candidate was asked to reveal their private reddit account to prove their values.

Bernie Sanders was insisting that the top 1% of reddit had way too many coins and wanted to force them to share gold more often.

Pete Buttigieg basically followed all of Bernie's posts and talked trash.

Joe Biden was just crossposting old posts of Obama's and saying how awesome they we...

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid firemen

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

How do you know your comment ruined someones joke?

\[deleted\]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Daddy, how was I born?"

A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?”

The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you were going to find out anyway. Your mom and I first got together in an internet chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a seclu...

I've just uncovered damning evidence that Hillary Clinton knew about the 30,000 emails she deleted as well as what really happened in Benghazi

I'm sharing it because the American people deserve to know the tr

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

Hey, wanna hear a joke about reddit mods

[This post has been deleted aggressively]

John Oliver have created few years back the site where you can "Scream something into the void". Sadly that site is now deleted, but I have found an alternative.

It's called the customer support.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre





Deleted original post to fix title.

I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone.

I want to make it Hans-free!

Hillary Clinton could've been the first f president.

Sorry, I meant to write female but the emale got deleted.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

I've decided to delete my Twitter.

I keep feeling that people are following me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

r/Showerthoughts deleted this as being a political topic

"Sexual harassment is a touchy subject."

Felt cute, got pregnant.

Might delete later.

Why are Me and China alike?

We both like to delete our history.

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

2 Cowboys are stranded in the desert.

They keep pushing on and on until they see a tree.
#
This tree in particular looked like a bacon tree.
#
“We’re saved” exclaimed the cowboys.
#
They rushed towards the tree and where quickly shot down.
#
It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.
#
#
I was not aware ...

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

Why did the Tank Man cross the road?

What Tank Man? Who's that? Nothing happened in Tiananmen Square.

*this post has been deleted for offending our overlords*

CLICKBAIT JOKE THAT WILL MAKE YOU SAY "Why is it deleted?"

[Deleted]

Drunk driver

This isn't so much a joke as it is a true story that happened to me. My buddy always got a kick out of it and it makes me laugh. Delete if not allowed.


My friends wife left him and I went to his house to drink beer and play music. We had a great time and somewhere around 3am I st...

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