Maybe I should delete Reddit

because everytime I log in, I feel pointless.

If you get an email from me about tinned ham, delete it.

It's spam.

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

Delete any emails that you get from Hormel Foods

They're most likely spam.

How do you delete important files on your computer permanently?

Update to the Windows 10 October Update

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

I've decided to delete my Twitter.

I keep feeling that people are following me.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer.

I have no Words.

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

Here's a joke about the Reddit admins.

[deleted]

I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone.

I want to make it Hans-free!

Reddit rename suggestions

Rename share to spreddit, delete to shreddit, karma to creddit. The fact the they haven’t done this, I just don’t Greddit

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How Was I Born

Cyrus asks: “Daddy, how was I born?”
Dad says: “Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
You see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded
...

I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area

Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.

Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it

But those who fail to delete their history are doomed to explain it.

You can improve the average intelligence of reddit users right now.

Just delete your reddit account.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen died today

Unfortunately ctrl-alt-delete will not bring him back to life.


RIP Paul Allen.

Someone keeps taking my task manager combination keys off my keyboards.

I’ve lost all control, and I have no alternative but to delete this horrible joke.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a diner and orders a burger and fries

While waiting he sees another man with a delicious looking bowl of chili, but the other is looking disappointed. He asks the man if he'd like to trade food when his burger comes, to which the other man agrees.

When their orders come the trade and start eating their meals. The first man thinks...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dear Tech Support

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable pro...

Out of office replies

Suggested New Phrases For Your "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

*I am currently out at a interview for a decent job and will reply to you if
I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

*I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you!

*You are receiving...

What should you do if you see a space man?

~~Park your car, man.~~

Introduce yourself and tell him it’s funny because he just reminded you of this time you posted a joke about a ‘space man’ on Reddit and you thought everyone was going to love it but then you found out it had been posted about six trillion times already but you didn’t ...

I don't usually open Siri

But when I do it's because I fat-fingered the delete key on my Macbook.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Karma is a weird name...

They should rename "karma" to "creddit"

They should also rename the "share" button to "spreaddit"

They should then also rename the "delete" button to "shreddit"

But they don't, and I don't geddit



* Eddit: Wow, I did not expect to get gold for that one...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My Mom recently found out that I’ve been looking at Nintendo porn on the family computer

It would have been my little secret, but I forgot to delete my Bowser history

LPT: If you are sick of hearing duplicate tracks on Spotify's stand-up comedy playlists,

Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material, and it should flow a lot smoother.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

For milder grievances with co-workers, try this:

When your colleague leaves their computer unattended, jump on & create a new desktop folder. Call it say **"MyBestialityPorno"**. Take a screenshot of the desktop. Delete the folder. Set screenshot as the computer *wallpaper*.

When your vic gets back & notices, they'll try furiously t...

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked u...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

Life Rules For My Son

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially i...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hillary Clinton is speaking at a fourth grade class

She opens the floor up for a question and answer period. A boy raises his hand.

"Yes, what's your name?"
"Hi, I'm Timmy and I have three questions. 1. How did you manage to lose 6 billion dollars as Secretary of State? 2. What actually happened at Benghazi? 3. Why did you delete 33,000 ema...

A blonde teen goes to the doctor complaining of chest pain

Doctor : I guess I need see an x Ray to determine any damage to ribs

Blonde : Promise to delete after seeing

My doctor told me I need fewer trans fats in my life...

Looks like it's time to delete Tumblr.

Instructions how to make money with your Facebook account:

1. Open settings

2. Delete your account

3. Start working