UPJOKE
replicatereproducetwinduplicationcopyreduplicatematchdoublematchingsamerepeatgeminatemanifoldcounterpartparallel

Duplicate Jokes

Equal Rights for Duplicates

Clones are People Two!

LPT: If you are sick of hearing duplicate tracks on Spotify's stand-up comedy playlists,

Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material, and it should flow a lot smoother.

My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.

I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

A famous serial killer made a music video of all of his killings but the drum track was lost and unable to be duplicated.

I can’t believe he killed all of those people without any re-percussion.

In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you’d have to duplicate those on your own.

That’s why they say you can’t steal music without repercussion.

A man said to his wife “Honey, you are the key to my heart.”

His wife then, “Okay. Then who was the women you were with yesterday?”

Husband, “The duplicate.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex girlfriend turned out to be an internet pornstar sensation...

She's gonna be so annoyed when she finds out!



(Edit: duplicate word, messed up punchline.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paradise

A little boy asked his Dad: What’s between mom’s legs? The father answers: Paradise, my son. The kid asks again: What’s between your legs? The father replies: The key to the paradise. The son says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock, the neighbour has a duplicate key.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to catch a fish

Another joke that i heard in Hindi many years ago. Trying to translate in English.

On a sunny day, a man was sitting by a river with his fishing hook in the water hoping to catch a fish. He was unsuccessful, so he goes the next day and the day after and continuously for several days with no ...

John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced colo...

A restaurant owner hires a carpenter, an interior decorator and an SEO expert.

A bistro owner is three days away from opening her new business and hires a carpenter, an interior decorator and an SEO expert to help with designing the dining area to better attract customers. On the first day the carpenter crafts a beautiful bar at the end of her restaurant and brings in mahogany...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man dies and goes to hell

He arrives in time for Hell orientation. As he walks into the orientation room, he looks around and finds an empty seat and sits down. The orientation staff woman starts off the meeting with a roll-call:

"Do we have Mr. Johnson present?"

"Here," says a man.

"Mr. Smith?"
...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.