Mimics are just Were-wares.

I'm sorry.

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First day of Med School

It is the first day of medical school, and the doctor in charge of the new class has all the new students gather in the main lecture hall for the orientation. Taking his place in front of the group, he starts his speech.

"In order to succeed in the world of medicine, you must first master two...

What do you call a potatoe that mimics a tomatoe?

An ImiTATOR.

A new carbonated beverage mimics the sounds of a human voice when you pour it out of the bottle.

or out of the can, soda speak.

I mimic the voices of my previous girlfriends whenever I'm out in public.

I'm a bit of an excentric

What did the mimic say to the Gorgon?

Be ya, wouldn't want to see ya!

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Once upon a time...

A horse lived on a farm with a pig, a sheep, and a cow. Now these were no ordinary barnyard animals - for they were bestowed the miracle of Disney animal anthropomorphism - subsequently, the farmer was very happy to have these animals in his posession and the people who came afar to see them made hi...

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This is very funny, but it’s more of a visual joke than one for here. But it always gets a laugh when you perform it right.

A police detective is called to the scene of a fatal car crash. Inside are two people- a man and a woman... and curiously enough, a little monkey who survived unscathed. The detective is trying to piece together what happened and muses out loud to the monkey- “Boy, I sure wish you could tell me what...

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I'm trying to mimic old porno that features sterile actors

But I'm having trouble getting it reproduced!

I recently learned that bison of eastern new york who are bullied by bison of the same region mimic the behavior upon the remainder of the community. In other words...

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

A Dungeons and Dragons Joke about the most fearsome of foes: Furniture

The barkeep asked why we carried weapons into his bar.

I said ‘Mimics.’

The party laughed.

The barkeep laughed.

The table laughed.

We killed the table. Good times.

A party of adventurers walk into a tavern

fully armed and sit down at a table. The bartender comes over and asks, "Hey, why do you guys have your weapons ready?"

The party leader replies, "Mimics."

The bartender laughs.

The party laughs.

The table laughs.

One of my Great Grandfathers favorites...

A traveling salesman steps off of a bus in a small Midwestern town. He has some time to kill so he asks the ticket counter clerk what there is to do around the area. The ticket clerk tells him that all the bars are closed because it's Sunday but if he walks down to the end of the main road there's a...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead rob a bank..

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome.

Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway.

The cops are quick though, a...

3 knights walk into a bar with their swords.

The bartender sees them walk in and asks, “why are you taking your swords in here with you?”

The knights say, “in case of mimics.”

The knights laugh, the bartender laughs, the table laughs, they kill the table.

A man's waiting in a bread line in the Soviet Union

He's been waiting for hours, but just as he reaches the front of the line, the woman inside says, "sorry, out for today," and slams the door shut.

Naturally, he's apoplectic. He starts shouting- "So this is communism, eh?! I fought in the war against fascism, I've worked for the state my wh...

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A virgin finally gets married

and has no clue what to do in bed

So asks a friend for advice and he says:
Do what ever she does and you will figure it out naturally .


At night his wife comes to bed and starts undressing,
and based on friend advice he does the same.

Then she starts touching her breas...

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A man in the USSR goes shopping

He wants to celebrate with his wife the beginning of the nineties and want to organize a big meal.

He asks the butcher for some beef to which he replies.

"Sorry comrade, we do not have any beef"

The man then decides to go to another butcher down the street but he also tells him ...

A Blonde, Brunette, and a Black haired girl are running from the police.

So they run into a farm and split up.

The Black haired girl runs behind a cow,
the Brunette runs behind a pig, and the Blonde runs behind a sack of potatoes.

Night comes and the police eventually find the barn and and search it. One of policemen look through the cattle and shines a ...

A man travels to Ireland for the first time.

His flight to Dublin arrives in the morning, and he travels into the countryside to stay for a few days. He goes to visit the Blarney Stone, feeds some animals at a ranch, and even gets to experience a rainstorm with a beautiful rainbow at the end. After his countryside excursion, he heads back to D...

I started dating a blind woman. It's fantastic.

However, it took me quite a long time to learn to mimic the voice of her husband.

While on a walk two men pass a bar...

Two friends are out walking their dogs on a hot summer day when they pass a bar.

"Let's stop and grab a drink"

"They don't allow pets - let's just keep going"

"Follow my lead"

The first man walks into the bar, his dog in tow.

"Sorry but we don't allow dogs in here....

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A man goes to a zoo.......

While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.


When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper e...

KFC seeks divine intervention.

When I tell this joke, I change it to Colonel Sanders making the pitch and mimic his unique voice.

KFC Pope

A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our...

The man at the circus.

A man is going to the circus to look for work. The man finds the manager in his caravan and asks him if he could get a job at the circus.

Oh, so you're looking to join the circus then? Tell me, what can you do?

I can mimic a bird, the man says proudly.

Hah, scoffs the manager,...

A group of adventurers walked into a bar.

"You can't bring your weapons in here!" the bartender yelled. "Why would you want to, anyways?"

"Mimics," the group's leader responded. "You can never be too careful."

After a moment, the bartender laughed, slowly followed by the rests of the group. "How ridiculous!" they all said.
...

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